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Friday, December 31, 2004
I think it is unanimous, Daddy Z should not go to work anymore. Your last blog, though highly informative, did not make me want to recycle because many years ago, NBC did an expose (ex -po - zay) about how recycle centers just trow some of the stuff away.

As for people who say no more plastic, I want them to get seriously injured or sick so they can see that nearly everything that is saving their lives is made of some sort of plastic.

I start work on Monday. May will be here before we know it.
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
For years now, I've dutifully checked every plastic piece of trash for the right set of numbers to figure out if I could recycle it. Our trash service collects one through four, along with our other recycling, all in one bin. We are advised to rinse plastics first and to remember to remove bottle tops, which frequently are made from a different kind of plastic than the primary container.

We perform this civic service at home for two reasons. First, putting stuff in the recycling bin keeps it out of our regular trash, so we don't need to take the big barrel out every week. We just put out the recycling bin, which is easier to lug around since it’s filled with empty cans, plastic bottles, glass jars, and newsprint. Second, I have felt strongly the importance of taking care of the environment, limiting pollution, and limiting our use of non-renewable natural resources. Plastics are a petrochemical product, meaning that producing them requires using oil and/or natural gas, and I recall from chemistry classes that manufacturing plastic, and sometimes even recycling it, can produce noxious chemical fumes. I don’t want all of that crap in the air I breathe, and I don’t want large chunks of plastic in the wild where it can do physical and chemical damage.

The silence of the empty office produces some rather interesting, non-sequiter thoughts. Today, I wondered (possibly aloud), "what do the numbers mean?" Then, "if the numbers mean something, why can I mix them all in one bin?" And this: "what if recycling plastic doesn't really help the environment?”

Quickly, everyone – to the Internet!

There are a lot of leftist treatises on the importance of recycling plastic. The most extreme I’ve seen so far recommends that we stop using plastics entirely. Frankly, I think that’s both useless and stupid. Useless, because plastics are ubiquitous – clothes, furniture, cell phones, car parts, circuit boards, carpet, building materials, containers of every variety, printed materials, and hundreds (perhaps thousands) of other products are made from plastic. If all consumers stopped using plastic wrap to save their leftovers, I doubt the plastics industry would blink.

Boycotting plastic is also stupid. Many of those products – the ones that could exist before plastic, anyway – would be made of some other natural material (like wood) if it weren’t for the abundance of plastic, and so would cost several times what they do now. Plastic makes our world less expensive. It also makes it safer; when was the last time you worried about dropping a two-liter soda bottle? They used to be glass, and they used to shatter quite well. Now they’re plastic, and if you drop one, you might spill some soda, but you won’t shred your feet.

In any case, if you wade through the propaganda, you can find some useful facts. First of all, the numbering system has an explanation (albeit a little complex). Each number represents a different plastic resin, and each resin has different properties. In the first place, some plastics melt when exposed to heat (thermoplastic), and some resist melting (thermosetting). For example, most of you probably have non-stick pots or pans that can go in the oven (and all can be used on top of the stove). The non-stick coating is plastic (usually Teflon, or PTFE – polytetrafluoroethylene), but it doesn’t melt. But don’t try cooking anything in a plastic milk jug. The Intermediate Technology Development Group, a “charity which works with poor communities to develop appropriate technologies” has an explanation in their technical brief.

Since the easiest way to recycle plastic is to shred it into pellets, then melt the pellets and extrude or mold new objects, plastics that resist melting can be a big problem. Plastics one through six (PET, HDPE, PVC, LDPE, PP, and PS) are all thermoplastic, and according to the ITDG brief, make up about 80% of the world’s plastics. But these plastics melt at different temperatures, so the recycling process has to be different for each different type of plastic. The problem gets worse when hardeners or other reinforcing agents (like fiberglass) are mixed with the plastic.

Assume for the moment you’re recycling only PET (1) and HDPE (2). PET melts at 250C, HDPE at 130 (482 and 266 Fahrenheit). While the plastics don’t have to be (and shouldn’t be) entirely melted for recycling, they do have to be heated to the point where they are soft enough that they can be molded into new objects. It’s difficult to heat plastic evenly, because it is not a good conductor of heat. There’s also a narrow range of temperatures at which it is safe to work with plastic (too hot, and it gives off fumes and can char; too cold, and it doesn’t work). So PET and HDPE have to be separated before they can be recycled. Because other contaminants (like food clinging to containers) interfere with the softening process (and can contaminate the final product), they have to be removed as well.

From what I can tell, although there are some pretty sophisticated ways to sort plastics through machinery (using X-rays and fluoroscopes), this part of the process is mostly done by hand.

So apart from helping the environment, recycling plastic employs trash workers whose job it is to sort plastic by color and number. Any manual process is prone to human error, so it’s anyone’s guess as to how many bales have to be resorted or thrown away because of mistakes.

So I’ve answered my first two questions, but the last one will require more investigation and lots of math.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Feels Like

UV Index: 0 Low
Dew Point: 12°F
Humidity: 48%
Visibility: 10.0 miles
Pressure: 30.02 inches and steady
Wind: From the South at 6 mph

It's just fine up here in MA!
Monday, December 20, 2004
Dear Tom:

Feels Like: 4°F
Wind: NW at 14 mph
Humidity: 22%

Friday, December 17, 2004
This is fun, but frustrating. Try to spell something long. Also frustrating is the severe stickiness of the "u" on my keyboard.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Do those pillows come in fat, or black, or even better, fat black? Do they have the fried chicken and and robitusen (how the hell do you spell robitussen?) scent? On a more perverted note, do they have the mountain fresh scent (there are two other (s)(c)ents, sent and cent)? If you turn your head inward, do you get to see the "road to China?"

I would like to take credit for positing (not posting, but positing) these questions on my own, but that would be an untruth. Instead, however, I tell you that some of these queries came from my beloved students, who, thanx to drugs and my destructive influence, have learned how to navigate through, participate in and enjoy the outer fringes of their minds. :)

Harry Kwannachamas to all, happy birthday to the bloggers, and, finally, love, peace and soup. Mostly because soup rocks!

Oh! My secret Santa bought me a Virginia pennant (I'm excited), I'm getting that "loving feeling" (I'm scared to death), I can no longer play tennis anymore because my platella (knee cap), has shifted slightly, so my knee doesn't work right anymore (I am mad/sad as hell), and I am coming home for the days of holiness (pronounced like Holly with a ness attached).

I'm alive. I can't say much for Mr. Wallace except that I believe he is alive - but cannot confirm that at this point. All I know is that his Fantasy Football team has two essentially dead RBs and maybe I should tell him before time runs out for him to pick up a live one. Well, maybe not. What would be the fun in that?
And, to commemorate the anniversary of the blog, among other things, I would like to post a link to one of the oddest things I've seen all week.

I know what I'm getting John for Christmas!
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Hey Bitches!

I just wanted to thank everyone for participating in this little experiment. You're all wonderful. Except for those who don't post anymore.

In any case, I just wanted to mention that our blog has been around for over a year now. In fact, all in the same week, Margaret and I celebrated our fifth anniversary of really pissing off her parents, the blog came of age, and I was called an asshole for not loving the Red Sox. Sorry folks, I just don't give a rat's ass.

Welcome Daddy Z to the land of the lost. We are lost because we refused and sabatoged all efforts to be found.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Speaking of surreal....

Scott Zetlan has joined the blog.

[Think: "Elvis has left the building."]
Today, I am a man. Or something. I finally know what the sani-rinse option on my dishwasher does. Those of you who don't, look it up. The general consensus seems to be that it's useless -- after all, the moment you take the dishes out of the dishwasher, they're no longer bacteria-free.

But here I am, three weeks after my son's birth, and I now have good reason to hit that little sani-rinse button. It had been sitting there, unused, on the control panel, smirking at me as if to say, "what a friggin' waste of money. Sucker."


Now, though, I have reached a point in my life where it is truly easier to hit this button and waste water and electricity than it is to boil a pot of water.

Yet I do not lament the loss of my pre-sani-rinse childhood. Rather, I marvel at the surreality of adult-hood, the pseudo-miracles of modern technology.
Monday, December 13, 2004

Yesterday, I attended my first Redskins game. My husband got a good deal on some tickets (read: they were very very high up; we may have had a better view from the Game Blimp), so we packed up some friends and were off. We drove for hours, sitting through traffic and braving the roads around DC so that I could attend my First Professional Football Game. Also, so that our friend’s 8-year-old son could attend his Eighteenth Professional Football Game.

Now, I have attended a lot of college football games. I’m used to the screaming fans, the crowds, and getting ripped off at the concession stand. Pro football, however, is – pardon the pun – a whole other ball game. Fans don’t just scream; they assault. Crowds aren’t just boisterous; they’re out of control. And personal pizzas aren’t just $6, they’re $8. It’s sheer craziness.

Part of the premise, I think, behind the $7 beer (aside from Corporate Profits) is that it should keep people from getting too drunk. When it costs at least $50 to get drunk, and at least $70 to get REALLY drunk, theoretically, it’s too expensive to get really drunk. (But no, there is another answer: minibottles.)

Let me describe a typical exchange between fans in section 418. I’ll leave out of some the more colorful language, but you’ll get the idea. The characters: “Bob,” a guy in his mid-twenties, relatively quiet Redskins fan sitting in his seat. “Eric,” a scrawny and loud kid probably still in his teens, an Eagles fan who claims he “can’t get arrested again” and who won’t sit down. Finally, we have “Walt,” an older man, probably in his 60s, a Redskins fan who was also relatively quiet up until this exchange.

So you understand the situation, one of the Eagles players was injured and lying on the field. They had brought out the miniambulance and play had been delayed for a few minutes. God forbid we pause the game because someone is paralyzed. Bob said something I couldn’t entirely hear about being glad that an Eagle was hurt – probably something along the lines of “Yeah! Kill him!” Eric turned to him and replied, sensibly but a bit drunkenly, that you shouldn’t cheer for someone getting hurt, and that if a Redskin was hurt he wouldn’t be happy about it, and how he hated Bob’s entire team but didn’t want them injured or dead, and added a few of his own thoughts on Bob’s personal character. Then Walt chimed in with something about putting all of the Eagles in body bags, and commented on Eric’s personal character, but Eric didn’t hear him. So Walt repeated himself. Four times. Finally, Eric heard him, and turned to tell Walt precisely what he could do to some part of Eric – to which Walt replied that he probably wouldn’t be able to find it. Eric said that it was right here and he could whip it out, and Walt told Eric to get him a magnifying glass and go ahead. Eric started climbing over seats. Finally a few surrounding fans took notice and held both parties back until everyone started watching the game again.

This type of exchange happened every 30-45 seconds, and about 1 in every 10 of them came to blows. Section 418, at least, kept all 3 police officers that were there VERY busy.

We saw several fistfights and more attempted fistfights. (I do have a theory that a lot of men are quite willing to attempt to fight as long as there are a lot of people to prevent an actual fight from happening.) We saw people throw beer and heard people make some very creative and violent threats. We saw one guy get hit with a bottle and another guy laugh about it. We saw a police officer fall down concrete stairs attempting to remove one of the more violent fans. We saw behavior that made the Artest brawl look almost reasonable.

Oh, there were some fun moments – such as when the cheerleaders took the field, and the 8-year-old woke up from a sound sleep to crawl over 4 people to get his binoculars. There was a very nice couple sitting behind us that we got to talk to a bit; they were very normal and human. But quite frankly, I have very nice friends that I can invite to my house to watch the game – and on the TV, the 8-year-old can get a much better view of the cheerleaders. It’s much warmer in my house, and the drinks are cheaper.

But of course, we do need to have fans at footballs games, because pro sports are a business and have to make money – and clearly $50 tickets and $7 beers are the easiest way to do that. There should, however, be a rule: any man attending a pro football game must bring either his wife or his mother.

Problem solved.

I will not make Charlottesville at any decent hour on Friday. I will leave work at 3pm, which means I will be in Charlottesville at or around 3am. Now, if you insist, I have no problem drinking at that hour. In fact, I recommend it. Having said that, I need to work on the throat clearing in my writing. In any event, I will see you all Saturday Morning.
Well-put, Jelani. Very nicely said. I applaud you, and your soapbox. Er, shoebox.

Further, I would like to direct everyone (and by everyone, I mean the three people who still read the blog) to It would be funnier if the person were more serious, but oh well. We can't ask for too much from our cheap humor.

And even further, Jelani, when will you be arriving in town on Friday? We're planning something with alcohol, and of course must consider your needs.
Is this thing on?

I have bad news. A blog is dying. We are all guilty, jointly and severally, of watching its demise and doing nothing. I now stand on my shoe box because soap boxes are a) too small, b) not as sturdy as they used to be, and c) I would have to buy boxed soap when I already have shoes. In any event, I am now standing on a deflated shoe box because, as I have now discovered, shoe boxes aren't at all sturdy. Nonetheless, I stand here in a crowd of people where the probability of being the shortest or one of the shortest people in the crowd is great, which means my message will no doubt deliver its flacid blow to deaf or out of "earshot" ears. So, I yell. With hands cupped around my mouth (not to hide the infliction of morning breath), I fill my lungs with air and summon the courage to form the words necessary to convey a message.


Breath life into this blog, lest its death be excruciatingly painful, slow and quiet. Fiends, Browsers, Bloggers! Blog for your right to blog. Blog for the right to blog. Blog for blogging's sake. Finally, blog the blogger's quo. I blog this to your attention because when all is blogged and done, all we will have are our blogs. And we will always have blog.


Yours Blogly
Saturday, December 04, 2004
I am obviously having too much fun with this stuff and want you to join in. Have fun!

Michael Lohan was arrested and charged with forging bad checks and processing stolen credit cards. The prosecution called Lindsay to testify that she had not given her father the permission to use the cards or put her signature on the checks. Despite his best work, the prosecutor was unable to get Lindsay to get the information out of her –bergaflickle!. Finally, Michael takes the stand and testifies that his daughter did give him permission to use the cards and thus he has committed no crime. By the time Michael takes the stand, Lindsay is no where to be found. If fact, they found 22 plane tickets to 22 different locations sold to one Lindsay Lohan. The prosecutor offers into evidence Lindsay’s previous testimony to contradict Michael’s testimony. Michael’s lawyer object. The judge should rule:
I. The hearsay is reliable and thus admissible
II. The declarant is unavailable, so the statement is admissible.
III.The hearsay is not reliable because it was during a court proceeding where witnesses are known to lie for family
IV. The statement is unreliable hearsay and thus inadmissible

A. Only I
B. I and II
C. I, II, and IV
D. IV only

The IRS and the FBI had the grand jury served five subpoenas on Traci Lords’ manager, DeVil Him Self. These subpoenas asked for Traci’s initial application to work for Smut T. Videos, Inc. and transcripts from conversations that STV’s lawyers had with some STV employees. Knowing that the state of Californication required all employment applications to have a copy of the applicants drivers’ license or some other state issued ID, the prosecution was trying to prove that Traci was too young to be in that line of work and that STV was involved with tax evasion. Self refused to tender the documents. A warrant was issued for his arrest and he was brought before a judge. Where he still refused to produce the documents. Self’s lawyer, fresh out of law school, says, “Your honor! Mr. Self does not have to produce these documents because it violates his fifth amendment rights.” The judge will rule,
A. All proprietary information will be blacked out with a permanent marker and thus will not violate any of Mr. Self’s rights
B. The act of producing the documents will serve as an implied testimonial act and are covered by the privilege against self-incrimination
C. That this decision is inline with United States v. Gould, 536 F.2d 216 (8th Cir. 1976) where the Supreme Court held that this was not an implied testimonial act, so Mr. Self must produce the materials.
D. None of the above.

The correct answer is B. A is wrong because it is gibberish. C is incorrect because that case, although properly cited, is about judicial notice and there is no such case with that holding. This fact pattern is from the case of United States v. Doe, 465 U.S. 605 (1984).

Same facts as above. What if DeVil Him Self did not have a conversation with any of his corporate lawyers. The FBI was not able to get Traci’s application, so the IRS wanted to get the transcripts of the conversations. Ever the smart cookie, Self’s lawyers jumps up again, “Your honor! That violates Attorney-Client privilege.” The judge will rule
A. “That is preposterous!” Self did not speak to any of his lawyers in the transcripts. Therefore, since Self in on trial here, those statements made by his employees are not covered by privilege and must be turned over to the court.
B. Since the lawyers are hired by STV, any conversations that the lawyers had with STV employees on STV’s behalf will be deemed covered under attorney-client privilege, so Mr. Self does not have to tender the documents.
C. Unless each of those employees individually hired a STV attorney or have a form on file that purports to do so, none of the transcripts are covered by privilege.
D. None of the above.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Dear JB,

I’m sorry that exams suck. I wish you were here, so we could all drink your pain away. Instead, you will have to embark on that mission with the sole help of Zonald. Oh well.

We miss you!

Good luck with exams. When will you be around here?

It has been a week since anyone last blogged. The joy in my life has gone away. Please restore the joy to my life. I need useless reading to help me cope with mind-numbing, gut-wrenching, global-killing, life-stealing, sleep-depriving, appetite-killing, social life-ending, blinding, exams.
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
Since I know my sister won't have time to blog this,

I'd like to welcome to the world Davis Geoffrey Zetlan! At 7lbs, 1 oz and 21 inches long, he's already well on his way to becoming a full-sized Zetlan. Congrats to Gen and Scott for a job well done. So far, anyway.
Monday, November 22, 2004
Madame Baxton, your post - funny.
On Hydrocodone - even funnier.
On too much Hydrocodone because the nurse said you could double up the dosage - Priceless
ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha....


I can't stop laughing. Or crying.
Friday, November 19, 2004
I saved the world!
I now declare the season to recycle Christmas jokes open. Have your fun, people. You earned it.
Thursday, November 18, 2004
For those of you with WAY too much time on your hands....a gift.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Oh, it's appropriate...

Congrats, by the way, go out to Smitty and Leila!
Ever since the GOP got its mandate, I've been on a blogger hiatus. I've missed the blog though. So I've returned. How appropriate is the name of this little piece of web heaven?
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
But no! It's not a joke! It's TRUE!
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Wow - this made me feel better.
Friday, November 05, 2004
Well, there could be a very simple explanation as to why Bush got SO MANY more votes than Kerry, even though EVERYONE - even Republicans - thought Kerry was going to win.

Oh. My. God.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Rob, I think the most telling statistics in there are the ones where the votes are broken down by education level...
While I hate what it may imply about the values/issues that are important to the American people, I'd say this was a rather historic election.
This election yielded the first increase in national voter registration in something like 30 years.
Bush received more votes than any other candidate in history.

I'd say those two things are rather historic.

While I'm glad Kerry got NH, I'm really shocked that even with the high voter turnout in the younger demographic (18 - 29) was split 45bush to 54 kerry! Blah blah blah

Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Thank you,, for overdramatizing EVERYTHING...

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- President Bush called his victory over John Kerry "historic" Wednesday as he became the first Republican president to win re-election since Ronald Reagan in 1984.

Um…huh? How is this historic?
Some angels died today - Bush was re-elected.


Sorry, had to fix the formatting.
Sure, Mr. President, go right ahead. You want to invade another country without any reason or provocation? You want to lie to us and lead us to believe you have evidence when there isn't any? You want to alienate our allies while provoking our enemies?

Fine. Go right ahead. CLEARLY, we're OKAY with that. Look, World, we re-elected him! We're FINE with it!
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
First in Line at the crack of dawn baby, I voted with the 80 year olds!
Have you voted today?

If not, you're a BAD PERSON.

Thursday, October 28, 2004
Good video!

Eminem's "Mosh"
Thursday, October 21, 2004
JB, remember to vote!
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
So money can't solve the stupidity problem.

"Oh no, I'm worth hundreds of millions, but I can't remember to eat."


I've just explained Republicans.

I don't really give a flying shit if a star gets plastic surgery and I don't care if Barry Bonds does roids (and the MLB shouldn't either - 73 home runs makes people watch games).

Just to make it clear:


Now, with that said, who the hell is advising these women to literally ruin, er, mutilate themselves?

To close,

I just saw the instructions for using/getting repairs for the "colored copier." I'm sure this an honest mistake, but when I think "colored copier," I'm thinking of a guy that looks like me down in the mail room. Don't let me get started on the instruction list either. I'm thinking about removing the "ed".

Monday, October 18, 2004

I need 30 minutes to pass. NOW.
Saturday, October 16, 2004
I love you John Stewart.
Friday, October 15, 2004
This just makes me so mad.
Monday, October 11, 2004
For the record, I don't think this is ok, and I wouldn't think it was ok, even if it was anti-Bush...
I tried not to hit him, but I was going 60 mph. He ran under the car and should have been fine...unfortunately for him, I have TWO tires on either side. He's dead now and I killed him.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Ok, just read Gene's chat. Lots of good stuff in here. I can't copy it all.
Stolen blatantly from Gene Weingarten's chat:

Deba, TN: Gene, durnig last week's debate, I noticed that President Bush said jokingly of Senator Kerry, "I try not to hold it against him that he went to Yale." Considering that Bush himself went to Yale, what is that joke supposed to mean? I'm baffled.
And when will Woodward and Bernstein expose that "Liz" and Wonkette are the same person? Ha. You insult us both.

Gene Weingarten: This was not remotely the oddest thing that Bush said. When he was talking about having met with a woman whose husband was killed in Iraq, he said:

"You know, it's hard work to try to love her as best as I can, knowing full well that the decision I made caused her loved one to be in harm's way."

Doesn't it seem a little crass for Bush to be putting the moves on a war widow?

WHAT IS THIS MAN TALKING ABOUT? And is this related to the way he said that obstetricians "practice their love" on their patients?

That was quite a debate, wasn't it? Bush looked like a man in severe intestinal distress.

I am sure that even at this moment, handlers are working on Cheney to try to transform that crooked sneer into something resembling a smile, no? "No, no, Mr. Vice President, you still look too much like Montgomery Burns..."
I've been waiting for someone to do this.
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
If you have a few minutes, and NOTHING to do - click here.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
I don't know what a lot of these mean - ok, I don't know what MOST of them mean, but I do know that there are a LOT of them.
Monday, October 04, 2004
I just want to mention my new favorite website: Catches politicians when they fib a bit.
And while I'm here - What a horrible wonderful weekend. Friday night started when a project I had promised to finish (before having the deadline pushed back) was completed on time and my project manager was demoing the old version to the CEO when I finished it. So I slid next to him and said, hey hold on a sec, let me plug in the new version! Sounds good, looks smooth right?!

Except the damn manager says something like - "What?! You got it working! " ruining my smooth Rob style. A-B-C Always Be Closing!!! And my damn manager ruined it. Reminds me of a movie...

Anyways Friday night was a power hour and naps on the bathroom floor, Saturday was a big bbq with friends and siblings, Sunday was IHOP and recovering. All in all a good weekend.

Blah blah blah, nothing more to say here.
Saturday, October 02, 2004
Thank you all for the birthday kudos. My father even called to wish me a happy birthday. Late, of course, but wierd nonetheless. I have not blogged in a while, mostly because I still do not know where all of the time is going. It used to be August, like yesterday! Anyway, keep blogging beucase, when I do get online, I have something funny to read.
Friday, October 01, 2004
Another son of another Republican president switches sides.

It's nice, now Ron has company.
These days, Mr. Bush and other administration officials often talk about the 10.5 million Afghans who have registered to vote in this month's election, citing the figure as proof that democracy is making strides after all. They count on the public not to know, and on reporters not to mention, that the number of people registered considerably exceeds all estimates of the eligible population. What they call evidence of democracy on the march is actually evidence of large-scale electoral fraud.

The Article

What's interesting is that if you look up the figures on the internet, you'll get different results, but they all agree on one thing: particularly among the male population, FAR more people are registered to vote than are actually eligible. If you consider that women are also far less likely to register, that means that there are probably a lot of female registrations that aren't valid, but the number registered just doesn't exceed the eligible population...yet.
So happy B-day JB! What are you? 40 now? Getting old;) !

Oh and Margaret - what do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

I'm just kidding, just kidding...

Did anyone happen to catch 44 ripping 43 a new one last night? I thought it was pretty damn good. He didn't really pull any punches and made some good points and at the same time didn't really seem like he was taking potshots.

And while the polls have been all over the place lately, I thought this was telling. That's about all from me .
Thursday, September 30, 2004
First of all, I didn't get a chance to blog yesterday, so I'm a day late, BUT -


Also, below I've pasted my favorite experiment from John's previous post. I want to find this kid, and beat him. They're giving these boys prizes? And if his "study" is worthy of second place, why in the world did they give first place to a girl? Why allow girls to enter the Science Fair at all? Science has nothing to do with raising babies.

2nd Place: "Women Were Designed For Homemaking"
Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker.
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
OBJECTIVE: Creation Education: Creation Science Fair 2001

This is some good stuff here.
Well, I just thought I'd take the time to let you all know about William Shatner's new musical endeavor. Be sure to pre-order a copy, because this is one the heralds of the apocalypse.

In other news, I'm proud to report my search for grad schools may lead me back full-time to Mr. Jefferson's University. We'll see.
Monday, September 27, 2004
now Margaret, we all know that you can't get true satisfaction from money. Of course, the person that said that isn't paying my bills. Honestly, that would be extremely satisfying.
Friday, September 24, 2004
Important Startling, Surprising, Breaking News.
Thursday, September 23, 2004
What the...?

Return of Ivan
Monday, September 20, 2004
So, it turns out I'm a bit resistant to lidocaine - I had two cavities filled today, and it took three times the normal amount of anesthetic to numb me. Now, four hours later, I'm still numb. FUN!
Friday, September 17, 2004
Guess who worked 33 hours straight after having worked 14 hours the day before!

I am at home. I refuse to go in today although I have not (officially) been told by Cheray I don't have to come in. More later on how her communication is always lacking, poorly-timed, and ambiguous. I did actually already do an hour of work today on my own volition to get ready for next week but that's all I'm doing today.

I have two bosses now, one who is good (Bo) and one who sucks (Cheray).
Bo gave me a deadline in advance (imagine that) for Wednesday at 4. I met that deadline. He told me to go home and that I did a great job for him without much notice (he had told me the night before and I had worked until about 10 that night to make sure I'd meet his deadline the next day).

However, I could not go home. I got broadsided with no warning by Cheray and had to work from 4pm Wednesday until 2pm the next day for her to help out her team (that I am really only supposed to dedicate a small fraction of my time to now). She is horrible at communicating and managing...she never tells me when anything is due unless it's the same day she tells me for the first time about something...this is after she wasted three days last week before reviewing my piece of the work for her team's deliverable. I finally got fed up and put my piece out on the network and told her to look at it when she got the chance since she obviously wasn't going to come by like she promised over and over again. She is extremely rude. She tells you she's coming by and never does. I've just gotten to the point where I just leave if it's after 5pm (I'm the same level as her in the firm so I feel like it gives me a little leverage). Everyone on the project has told me this. She makes people feel like they have to sit arond for HOURS. The jr. people on the team tell me sometimes they sit around for five HOURS waiting for her to come by because she tells them she is going to come by in 5 MINUTES. They end up staying at the office until 7 or 8 on a regular basis needlessly because she never comes by and they eventually just give up and go home. She is really hurting their opinions of the firm and cutting into their personal lives for no reason.

Back to the 33 hours...predictably by 5:30am, her team created a load of steaming crap filled with errors that wasn't even what the client really wanted because somebody (Cheray) didn't bother to clarify their requirements before making everybody on her team work through the night to the next afternoon. The deadline then shifted to about 10am by her taking a train up to our Philly office and planning on delivering the item in person by grabbing everything off our VPN. My piece of the work comes at the end of their process. I had to make changes to my app starting at 7am when her team had finally finished their reports creation process (which as mentioned before the client didn't like). Extremely rushed and them not giving me database tables with names I had asked for, it of course created a bunch of problems with my application which took until 1:30pm to sort out.

She's going to make them do it again next week. I can feel it. I am not doing that again. I really need to talk to her about giving people notice and communicating deadlines in advance. She literally said to me at 4pm Wednesday, "This must be done by 5:30 am." Unacceptable.

Thursday, September 16, 2004
What Michael meant was....

Florida is ready for 2004!
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
So...I put out a fire today. A literal fire, not a figurative one.
Florida is Ready for 2004

Tropical Depression Eleven is now Tropical Storm Jeanne. So much for Florida's tourism business.
Monday, September 13, 2004
Jelani, I hope you're getting good and worried about Tropical Depression Eleven.

Looks like Mother Nature is throwing everything she has at Florida. Even the kitchen sink.
Read all the way to the end...Ralph Nader is a NUT.
Saturday, September 11, 2004
Bloggers of Fairness are Mine,

Since my last blog, I had been out of school for five days, Himmicane Ivan was a Category 2 storm, Grenada was a cute little island, Jamaica was a great vacation spot for reasons no one seem to remember (we'll attibute that to their amazing herbal remedies) and Jacksonville was virtually safe. Well, much has changed since then. Grenada is still a cute little island that is 90% in ruins; Jamaica has become a great surfing location for the extreme surfers and the world's number one vacation spot not to be seen at right now; Himmicane Ivan was a 5, kicked Grenada in the nuts, down graded to a four, squared off with Jamaica and is looking forward to open waters so that it has the chance to regain is category 5 status just before it finishes Florida off. As for Jacksonville, the panic is already here and merchants are running out of (in this order) beer, gas and bottled water. Florida, still reeling from the effects of Hurricanes Bonnie and Frances and Himmicane Charley, is pretty fcuk-ed if Ivan decides to pay a visit. I went to work one day this week, because they fear that we may not go to work next week. Ah Florida living.

On a lighter note, someone has been able to hold my attention for longer than a week. I'm scared.

Friday, September 10, 2004
For some reason, I find this map funny.

SOME part of Florida is gonna get it.
Thursday, September 09, 2004

So many excellent posts to look at here. The track of Hurricane Ivan, the sports headline of the day, etc...take a look. I LOVE the track of Hurricane Ivan.
Hm...not much blogging lately. For shame. With so much to talk about - Frances, Ivan, the elections, puppies shooting bad men - I'd think the Blog would be just BUBBLING with conversation.

For shame.

Jelani - what did you Floridians DO? Someone is ANGRY with y'all. Charley knocked Florida down, Frances kicked Florida a few times, now it seems that Ivan is coming to finish the job. This is a bad scene.

Anyone read about Bush's declaration that OB-GYNs should be free to love their women, or whatever he said? Can someone find a quote? Pretty bad.
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
It's news stories like these that restore my faith in humanity.
Monday, September 06, 2004
My fellow bloggers,

Hurricane/Tropical Storm/ Hurricane Frances has left the Jacksonville area and I am still alive. There are tree parts in the streets and major parts of the city are still without power, but nothing major (i.e. flooding, felled structures, etc.). I think my school will follow suit with public schools and remain closed tomorrow, which now gives me a five day weekend. Yes! In any event, we now look forward to Ivan, which has already upgraded to a category two storm and is headed our way (Florida that is, not Jacksonville per se).

Love, peace and hair grease.
Saturday, September 04, 2004
Rob's older! Whoohooo!!!!!!

Secondly, last night we went out for out Friday Guys Night Out (it's been our tradition for the last two years). Anyway, my drink of choice was the hurricane because the irony (or symbolism or freaky coinkydink (sp)) was just too tempting to pass up. White at the bar, we figured it was two sizes to small night because everyone there was bursting out of their clothes. We did, however, see this amazing couple. The girl was maybe 6' 3" and built like a cow and the guy was about two to three inches shorter than me (I'm 5'9", but I tell girls 5"10" - it doesn't work) and built like a healthy toothpick. They were pretty much "doin' it" on the dance floor and it was hilarious. I was on my fifth or sixth hurricane by this time, so put yourselves in my shoes and enjoy the hilarity.

Well, the hurricane hasn't hit us yet. Some people are boarding up their houses and businesses, while others are buying more booze. I think this will either pass over us or make Aesop a happy man since his grasshopper and ant story would have played out in real life.

I am really bored as hell and Zonald and I have decided to start drinking the wine that I have collected. We thought it was too early to go out and drink, but late enough to drink at home. Lesson: Old wine is not really all that great, but sweet Romanian wine rocks!

Feel free to call me and make sure I'm ok. I'm ok, so don't worry about calling.
Friday, September 03, 2004
Happy Birthday Rob! You probably won't even see this. Wake the hell up people.
Thursday, September 02, 2004
Man, did we Florida-folk screw up with God somewhere?!? He is giving us the royal kickdown. In any event, don't worry about me. I am being safe. I bought beer and wine to celebrate survival or to forget total loss and doom. Actually, many people are planning hurricane parties - fun! So, if I am not here Tuesday morning, just know I am somewhere warm or hot as hell.
Monday, August 30, 2004
Official Poverty Statistics - though personally, I think an individual making $10,000 a year living alone, or a family of four making $20,000 a year, is probably pretty impoverished! Not according to the government though!
Ah, our first home.
So that's $3700 per year per impoverished person (looking at this incredibly simplistically)

In a 2 person household that's $7428, some 62% of an impoverished 2 person income over the 10 years,
in a 4 person household that's $14857, some 79% of an impoverisehd 4 person income over the 10 years.

I couldn't find the actual definition for impoverishment of a 1 or 3 person household but it's still bound to be a considerable boost.

All altruism aside, it's also a hellova lot more likely that the $3700 dollars * 35Million people yields more money flushed back into the economy than the (and I can't remember the specific breakdown, I knew it at one point (thanks al franken!)) $12950000 * 100 people type of situation we've got now.

Blah blah blah

I'm going my new dentists' office for the first time this afternoon so I'll have to get to the store for some oreo's before I get there ;)

P.S. That license and registration thing was a reference to supertroopers because a few of the posts there seem to have repeated.
My apologies, Rob, I posted without reading very carefully: there was a typo, it's actually 1.3 Trillion, not billion. Trillion. It was a big tax cut.

More details:

The tax cuts were $1.3 trillion. Trillion. Over 10 years. That's $130 billion per year, on average. There are 34.9 million Americans living below the poverty line. If you assume an average case -- a family of four -- then that means 8.725 million families earning less than $18,500 or so per year (from the 2003 Housing & Human Services guidelines for poverty).

So: $130 billion / 8.725 million = $14,899.71 per family.
Would you mind stepping down from the truck with your license and registration?
The news:

The cat has outdone herself again. With no bathtubs to soil, the cat decided that a sink was a fine place to seek relief. Impressive.

The real news:

I've got business cards. These are my first EVER. Even my wife has had business cards and I've had about 15 more jobs than she has. Maybe that why I'm just getting cards?

I'm confused about the 1.3 billion distributed amongst 35million people thing, That works out to less than $40 per impoverished person, it just doesn't make sense that almost every man woman and child could have been pulled out of poverty by that amount.....

I'm sure I don't have the full picture of all the research done, is there anyway you could clarify a bit Margaret?
Friday, August 27, 2004
If the election's got you down, you can always find humor in it all here.
An interesting new tactic.

I know when I think of an open-door party, I think of Republicans, right away.
An interesting statistic, created by my brother-in-law, and relayed to me by my sister (it's a family affair):

Scott did a bunch of research regarding that Census Bureau thing, about how much money was in the tax cuts Bush passed (1.3 billion), how many Americans (12.5% of the country out of 281,481,296 Americans, so about 35 million people) are below the poverty line (defined as less than $18k per year), and basically figured out that for the cost of that tax cut we could have pulled almost every man, woman, and child in this country out of “poverty.” And that’s with unemployment up at around 6% (also thanks to the Bush administration, which supports exporting jobs, and which, despite Bush’s statement that “job creation is the number one priority of economic policy out of Washington, D.C.” [president’s economic forum] has managed not only to lose jobs, but to hold the second worst “job creation” record since Herbert Hoover (who, you may remember, had this small depression thing to deal with).
Thursday, August 26, 2004

Interesting...1 in 20 New Yorkers believe in violent protests. Let's say that 1/2 of all New Yorkers are registered voters. So...5% of 4.5 million New Yorkers believe in violent protests. Let's look closer at the number. 225,000 New Yorkers are ok with violent protests. That's a lot bigger than our little Albemarle County here. They should deploy these people. Violent protest sounds like war to me. C'est tout.
From our friend Jennifer, who works for IBM - one of her customers is the Census Bureau...See the article here.

Subject: Census Bureau says 1.3 million more Americans in poverty - Aug. 26, 2004

This data has been much anticipated (my project deployed it today on our website:

Apparently, there was a great deal of controversy surrounding the release date for this Income and Poverty data. We usually deploy this data in October, but received pressure to deploy it earlier (read: release bad economic data further from the election so the Bush Administration can spin it out of the news). Don't forget what his adminstration has done to this country in the last 4 years!

Census Bureau says 1.3 million more Americans in poverty - Aug. 26, 2004 *
Survey: More Americans in poverty
Census Bureau report says 1.3 million slipped below benchmark; health care coverage also declines.
August 26, 2004: 10:28 AM EDT

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computershave enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gatesreportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "IfGM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all bedriving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:If GM had developed technology like! Microsoft, we would all be driving carswith the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a newcar.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would haveto pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car,restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reasonyou would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstallthe engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, fivetimes as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent ofthe roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all bereplaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warninglight.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out andrefuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned thekey and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how todrive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the samemanner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
Participate September 2nd!
As you may or may not know...

I decided to curse my existence by joining a real consulting firm in May. Since joining I have been on three different projects. Currently (and through November), I am working on a project in downtown DC. At least a couple times a week I try to take a break from work and go walking around within a radius of six blocks or so in an effort to learn the city better. I've noticed all that's here in the business district is restaurants, wine/liquor stores, drug stores,
and corporate businesses - no grocery stores, clothes stores, hobby stores, etc. Coincidence? I think not! All the vices are but a short walk away!

Needless to say, the $3 martini place three blocks over has been calling my name every day since I discovered it but I have thus far managed to resist its strong liquortational pull.
Well, it's been fun being heterosexual, but I've uncovered the horrid details of Al Qaeda's next attack against the U.S.

Who thought "It's Raining Men" could be a hit single again?
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Someone get this man a Nobel Prize.

Upon closer reading, I have a question: just what ARE the effects of alcohol, other than drunkenness and a hangover?
Saturday, August 21, 2004
As heard on the radio: "Ladies and Gentlemen, we, the radio station, would like to announce our new director of requests Hellen Wait. So, if you would like to make a request, please go to Hellen Wait.

I thought it was funny.
Thursday, August 19, 2004
I hate you, i hate you, i don't even know you and I hate your guts...
I'll believe it when I see it.
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
The blogs are hilarious! More on how bitter I am about work as soon as the smoke clears. I will say this, I just got to order my books today. Classes start tomorrow. Yay me!
I've found the Current Electoral Vote Predictor 2004 to be super informative and easy to load. I also like the "previous" button; you can watch Red v Blue over time.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Google works. Posted by Hello
What Republicans Must Believe

1) Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

2) Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

3) A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

4) Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

5) The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

6) If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

7) Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

8) HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

9) Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

10) A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

11) Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

12) The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's cocaine conviction is none of our business.

13) Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness, and you need our prayers for your recovery.

14) You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.

15) What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

(Thanks to my sister, who for some reason doesn't have the "Blog it!" instinct...)
Ok, this has gotten out of control.
Saturday, August 14, 2004
Small correction to John's post: an EXHAUSTIVE search for his classes has turned up no clues. For those of you who know our house: I handed John his glasses at the dining room table, and we walked to the car out front, and got in. In the car, John realized he didn't have his glasses.
Thursday, August 12, 2004
This post courtesy of Michael W. Smith:

George Bush Sucker-Punches An Opponent
All quiet on the western front...

So, what happened to John on his birthday?

1. Got very sick from alcohol. Well, from not eating before drinking alcohol.
2. Went to work despite being really sick. Came home at 11:30 after throwing up outside for half an hour.
3. Lost his glasses somewhere in his house or car. A preliminary search has turned up no clues.
4. Missed the 4:15 showing of "Collateral" because the woman at Walmart took 25 minutes to get him some contact lenses. WTF?
5. Finally saw the movie at 7:20. Not bad.
6. Came within inches of being in an accident. Lights were off. Could have been his fault, except the guy failed to yield to cars coming both ways.
7. Despite all of this, Margaret managed to make a good day out of it.

No, I don't get wiser as I age. I just get weaker and more bitter.
So what the heck happened to gaming?
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
I don't know if anyone else has seen this, but it is very funny.

I know this guy sounds like he's raining on everyone's parade (and by everyone, I mean owners of 3+ ton SUVs), but I totally agree with him...
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Read the second-to-last sentence. Why? WHY? You're asking WHY? HE WAS 79 YEARS OLD, THAT'S WHY! The statement should read "Authorities are attempting to determine how old his passenger was, and why that person was not driving instead of the old man, who clearly could not drive."
Sunday, August 08, 2004
Political poems are great. and 1234 if it asks you to sign in.
Friday, August 06, 2004
A moment of silence, please.
Isn't it ironic?
Thursday, August 05, 2004
This came in an email today:

Client#: 779
Email ID:

Dear Sir/Maddam;
>From our records we understand that you are qualified in your
>profession and
we are going to offer you a 1 time offer.
Our Univsersity can offer you a Pre-Qualified degree.

To obtain your degree with valid transcripts follow this link: (I disabled the link)

Alfreda Hilton
Administration Office

When did University become difficult to spell? How long has it been ok to use digits to write numbers less than ten in formal correspondence? WHY DO PEOPLE SPAM ME SO MUCH? At least they realize I'm qualified for something.

Thanks for all the birthday posts!
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
I know you're all doing absolutely nothing. This is sad. I am going to cry.
Monday, August 02, 2004

Happy Birthday Leila,

I felt so inspired, I had to post this:

I hope this card finds you quite happy,
and that this warm summer day has not been crappy, craappee.

So eat some, drink some, and also be merry,
but don't drink too much of the products called dairy.

I really don't know where this little thing is going,
but you know how it is when the rhymes are flowing.

No more about rhyme schemes, lines, or meter -
you need to be breaking into a big ol' liter.

It's a celebration bitches,
so I'll be on my way,
enjoy yourself and happy birthday.

Happy Birthday, Leila!
Happy Birthday to Leila!
A friend sent this along to me, very funny:

From the Washingon Post Style Invitational contest that asks readers to
submit "instructions" for something (anything), written in the style of a
famous person. The winning entry was:

The Hokey Pokey (as written by Wm. Shakespeare)
O proud left foot, that ventures quick within
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke,
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from Heavens yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.
- Jeff Brechlin, Potomac Falls
Friday, July 30, 2004
I just sent it to I don't expect a response, but...who else could we send this to?

We have devised the perfect voting system. We rock.
Actually, the second scanning machine is a good idea. We already have the OCR technology, and the talley of the two machines would have to match in order for the votes to be "verified" by each state. Not bad. Can we send it to
Thursday, July 29, 2004
I would like to welcome Kesiah Dodson into the world - though her parents are not bloggers, we can only hope that one day she will be.
Sure john, you just had to encourage me to leave a trollish comment on her site. And I should be hard at work documenting our latest succesful project.

What the hell is wrong with people? 

Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Ok, how about this: electronic voting, a paper printed ballot from that machine for verification, that paper ballot can be scanned by another machine (made by different people, of course)...? And we still can count by hand if necessary, and it would be faster than counting chads?
The problem is that people are trying to find shortcuts or ways to bypass the hand counting. The country is so big we rely on technology for everything. No one wants to count all those paper ballotts, and even if they did, doing so would take months. Hence, the chads, punchcard ballotts, and so on, all countable by machine. Even in Florida, when the election results were CONTESTED, the Supreme Court basically decided that it took too long to count the ballotts by hand (difficulty reading them notwithstanding), and HAVING a president was more important than viably ELECTING him (dontcha like the precident set there?) -- and Florida is a lot smaller in population than say New York or California.

So, we all know that electronic voting machines are insanely vulnerable, and could under the right circumstances constitute a threat to actual democracy. But, is there a practical way to check the machine?
So I was reading some things on MoveOn (see the link on the left), and I don't understand the big controversy over computerized and paper ballots. There is a very, very simple solution: We vote on a machine, it prints out a sheet saying who we voted for (just the names we voted FOR, it doesn't list everyone, so there's no question) - then we double-check the paper receipt, save our vote on the machine, and put the paper printout in a box. The machines count the electronic votes and report the winner, and as a check the paper votes are also counted. No hacking, no rigging, no hanging chads. Why is this so hard? The perfect system uses both computers and paper - for speed, convenience, security, and accuracy. This is not difficult to figure out.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.............

Does this guy even KNOW what he does?
This idiot is back ...

So, apparently, he has taken my sage advice to heart and is sending out a new piece of spam:

------ Forwarded Message
From: "gary towers"
Date: Mon, 26 Jul 2004 19:39:28 -0400
Subject: Freelance Writer Query...

Hey J.,

Does your company use freelance writers? I have named many things.

Gary Towers

I would like to quote from my business parter's response:

And again, how can I not be impressed by the fact that he has “named many things”? I, too, have named many things...

Crabby old people
Crappy managers
Favorite college t-shirts
My blanket from toddlerdom
Imaginary friends
Body parts
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Sorry, here is the article. AOL is so exclusive.

Castro Denies Sex Tourism Allegations

SANTA CLARA, Cuba (July 27) - Fidel Castro rejected charges by President Bush that he promotes sex tourism in Cuba, then went on the offensive to dredge up old reports about his American nemesis' alleged past drinking habits.

Castro vigorously denied Bush's recent allegations, saying that what the White House believes is ''that which the president makes up in his head, whether it corresponds to reality or not.''

''There are many in the world who know very little about the Cuban revolution, and could fall prey to the lies diffused by the United States,'' the Cuban president said Monday night at the island's annual Revolution Day celebration in the central city of Santa Clara.

During a speech in Tampa, Fla., earlier this month, Bush accused Castro of turning Cuba into a major destination for sex tourism, which is ''a vital source of hard currency to keep his corrupt government afloat.''

''The regime in Havana, already one of the worst violators of human rights in the world, is adding to its crimes. Castro welcomes sex tourism,'' Bush said at the July 16 conference on ''human trafficking'' - forced labor, sex and military service.

Although prostitution exists in Cuba, it is unorganized and has been far less visible since Castro launched a massive crackdown on street crime in early 1999.

Castro said someone should have told Bush that before Cuba's 1959 revolution about 100,000 women were involved in prostitution because of poverty, discrimination or unemployment. The were all educated and given other jobs, he said.

Castro then lashed out at Bush in a more personal manner, summarizing arguments made in Justin A. Frank's book, ''Bush on the Couch: Inside the Mind of the President,'' and saying that Bush apparently had replaced his drinking with religious fundamentalism.

''He depends on religion as a defense mechanism, substituting thought,'' said Castro, paraphrasing from the book by the Washington, D.C.-based psychoanalyst and professor of psychiatry during the island's Revolution Day celebration in the central city of Santa Clara. ''In some ways, he doesn't even have to think.''

In an autobiography when he was Texas governor, Bush wrote about swearing off alcohol in 1986, when he was 40, after a spiritual awakening.

Earlier Monday, Communist Party faithful gathered for the speech in this provincial capital, where red, white and blue Cuban flags hung from the sides of buildings in observance of the 51st anniversary of the failed July 26, 1953, attack on a military barracks that launched the Cuban revolution.

The top leaders of Cuba's ruling Communist Party were among about 1,000 people attending the annual event in Santa Clara, home to a major monument housing the remains of revolutionary icon Ernesto ''Che'' Guevara.

About 30,000 people originally were scheduled to attend an outdoor event outside, but it was moved inside due to threat of rain. The event was also broadcast live on Cuba's state-run television and radio.

Castro ended his comments to Bush saying he hoped God does not ''instruct'' him to invade the island, a fear the Cuban leader often repeats.

''He had better check on any divine belligerent order by consulting the Pope and other prestigious dignitaries ... asking them for their opinion,'' he said.

After the speech, Castro hugged Elian Gonzalez - the 10-year-old boy made famous after a high-charged custody battle between his Cuban family and relatives in Miami - and Gonzalez's younger half-brother.

Elian was found clinging to an inner tube off Florida's coast in November 1999 after a shipwreck that killed his mother and others leaving Cuba. He returned with his father to the island in July 2000.

AP-NY-07-27-04 0306EDT

Copyright 2004 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. All active hyperlinks have been inserted by AOL.

Hmmm, I can't get to leila's column, but I think she was linking to this

Castro - 1 Bush - 0
Monday, July 26, 2004
If you count all of the cities around the world that I have lived in, and all of the prostitutes that I have slept with in my lifetime, including that one, then I can safely say that I have no experiece with prostitutes whatsoever. After all, I am still young, dumb and ...well you know the rest.
Ha ha ha - the last sentence in this article is PRICELESS.
Which reminds me, JB, how much experience HAVE you had with prostitutes - that you could write an essay about it?
I wish you had saved a copy of that essay - that'd be even better than the animals deserve to be eaten one!  So I made it down to DC for a fairly tame wedding, trying my best to remember people's names and not say anything improper.  I think I managed that, but I did have a conversation with the priest that presided over the ceremony that sort of revealed my lackluster church attendance.  I had planned on visiting some folks while I was down there but as it turned out I really didn't have much time to do anything social.

Oh, and a friend of mine, (and former roomate) is a porno actress now working for Vivid Video.  And we're not talking the tame stuff on Skinemax like Lord of the G-Strings, we're talking the full on porno.  Oh The places you'll go.

Not really much point to this one, but I haven't blogged in some time, have to check in!
Sunday, July 25, 2004
Go ahead, Fantasty Football players.  Draft Ricky Williams.  I don't want him, you can have him.
Frat boys: They know the important issues.
Saturday, July 24, 2004
Today, for the first time since Harry banged Sally, I saw what 6:30am on a Saturday looked like and, let me tell you, I didn't like what I saw. So, this morning I was both sober and angry, which are both optimum attitudes for taking a test to determine your qualifications to teach a class grotesquely below your level.

As I entered Starbucks for that caffeinated concoction that blows me away, the barristress could not help but ask, "Who pissed you off so early in the morning?" To which I responded, "Life. Now, give me my coffee and leave me be." In hindsight, I think it was a bit uncalled for, but now she has an awful story to forever tell the future barristers of Starbucks.

Then I arrived at the testing site, took my seat and prepared to embark on a journey that proves I am intelligent enough to teach.  The essay question was......drum roll.........."Write an essay about something you were encouraged to do as a child that impacted you positively." In my positive state of mind, of course, I wrote about oral sex and how it has changed my life. I titled it, "Encouraged to be more oral in meretricious relationships."

Since I no longer need the results of that test to maintain my present employment with a private school, I wrote an essay that will stick in the mind of the grader forever. Not to mention I may not get a passing grade, which is six out of a possible ten points.

I now return to studying Legal Ethics (That still make me chuckle).

Thursday, July 22, 2004
You know,

Despite pretty much flunking out of college twice and living like a rock star sometimes (and not in the good ways)...I have a wonderful and beautiful wife, a nice house, a not-so-bad job, and fairly low cholesterol.  It's a surprise to me that I make it to each birthday.  

Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes!  I had a WONDERFUL birthday.  Who's ready for John's birthday now?  Will there be a surprise???

Gen, I think his explanation made it worse.  He was trying to make it work, but it just...didn't.
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Happy Birthday Margaret!  I don't know the date so I won't even try. Happy Birthday, Nonetheless.
Happy Birthday to my sister ... ah yes, I remember when you were born. I may even have some incriminating photos ...

And, for your amusement - This is the type of correspondence I regularly receive, as owner of my own company:

From: "gary towers"
Date: Mon, 17 May 2004 21:00:26 -0400
Subject: Freelance Writer Query...


Does your company use freelance writers? If so,
I would like to send some nomenclature to the proper person.


Gary Towers
Follow up: =======

Hi Genevieve,

I looked up "nomenclature," a 2nd definition in a Webster's read "the act of a system of naming." But maybe I should just say "naming." If it was a speedbump to you, it probably is to other people also.

Attached are some ads with brief commentary, my resume, theme lines and names. Please take a look, and tell me what you think.


Gary Towers
Marietta, GA


Can anyone tell me how "the act of a system of naming" works with his first e-mail? Does his explanation in any way make this better? Silly me, I may just have an MA in English, but what do I know ...


Punk Voter (links - over to your left) is completely discrediting its movement.  Apparently they forgot to hire an editor. 
For example:
  • "America needs to know about the thousand of cases that the Act has wrongfully violated people’s protected civil liberties instead of the few examples of how the Act is helping to end interdepartmental confusion to catch the bad guys."
  • "This is important folks, this is the first time Punkvoter has ever asked our members and friends to un-snap their wallets for a candidate!"

See if you can find the issues here.  Damned punkers.



Dearest Mrs. Baxton,
Happy Birthday.  I could make lots of jokes about you being old, never will be old to me - just more irritated. 
Heres to you and worse grammer too!
Irritated yet?
Monday, July 19, 2004
Mrs. Baxton has the best blogs!
Ahh, good, a new game: Which country will we attack next, simultaneously alleging an al-Qaeda/Sept. 11 link and pronouncing that we have found no connection?

This is brilliant.  If you have to log in, use and 1234.  I can't describe how brilliant this book review is.  Just can't.
Friday, July 16, 2004
In our next house, John and I WILL have one of these.
So, yesterday I held my first teacher meeting.  I think it went well - though I suppose I started it in rather a corny way, I had each teacher introduce him/herself and say something interesting.  One teacher's interesting thing was that he has started a blog, and he was looking around at other local blogs, and saw that one blog owner was the Associate Manager of Kaplan Test Prep & Admissions (that's me).  I briefly described our little blog here, and said that I don't blog at work (when I do, it's during my lunch, actually) (except now) (anyway...) - good thing I had already told Katie (my manager) about the blog!  :-)
So how are my fellow bloggers?  I described this blog as mostly being political rants, though I suppose lately that's not true...  Which reminds me, we will be having an election party this year.  We will either watch the news and drink and celebrate, or watch the news and drink and cry.  Those with differing political views are welcome to attend at their own risk.
Thursday, July 15, 2004
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah shelton!
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Now I'm REALLY hungry. Anybody got any squirrel for me to eat?

Tuesday, July 13, 2004
McNoggin - truth or urban legend? Scroll down to the middle of the article to see the pic! Go Newport News!
Monday, July 12, 2004
In the spirit of the last post: Charriot is dead.

For those of you are in the dark, Charriot was a Blue 1991 Oldsmobile Cutlass Cierra and could party with the best of them - though she was the worst. She was crushed on one side and the front, could not carry more that two people at a time (nor one safely), and in her last days soldiered on with only three legs.

Friday morning was Charriot's last ride. She got me to the gym and home again for the last time. Saturday evening she was replaced with a White 1995 Buick Park Avenue. When I went to move Charriot for her successor, her life force was no more. I am now the proud owner of two cars - one dead.

In any event, I have another car!

I have not named her(im) yet, but I have a list of names.

1. Charriot
2. Charriot 2
3. Charriot II
4. Charriot B
5. Charriot Reincarnated
6. Charriot: The Revenge
7. Charriot: Bigger and Whiter
8. The Great White Charriot
9. The Ghosts of Charriot Past

Please feel free to vote or send write-ins.

Happy Blogging!
Saturday, July 10, 2004
Hm...not much blogging lately.

So sad.
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Here is a shocker . . .

You really begin to appreciate how out of touch with reality the two of them are when you read the last line. "We wanted to appear in this ad because we love the campaign and we want to help make sure our fans are healthy like us."

Come on girls . . . As if anyone really thought that you were healthy. It is hard to claim to be healthy when you weigh 70 pounds, soaking wet.
(First Blog, forgive me if I break any rules of etiquette)

So I was in DC this past weekend and saw a guy walking down the street from trashcan to trashcan mysteriously digging. I came to discover what he was looking for when in about the third receptacle, he pulled up a nearly empty bag of chips. He tilted his head back and poured the last few remaining crumbs into his mouth. It was as if all of a sudden I realized the extent to which I was not thankful for all that I had been blessed. In my 27 years, I had never longed for food to eat or a place to sleep. Nourishment and shelter are truly blessings for which we should all be grateful. (Lesson: Bitchin’ and whinin’ are relative wastes of energy since millions have lives 100X tougher than ours.)

Tuesday, July 06, 2004
A friend sent this photo-mosaic to me. I thought you all might like to see it.

"War President"

From the Artist: "An image is like an empty room and any message that one reads in that room necessarily came in the baggage one carried when one walked in the door. If I made a mosaic of George Washington composed of images of the American dead from the revolution, would viewers likely take that image as an indictment of [President] Washington? I submit that they would not. It would be viewed as a monument to the dead and a celebration of a great leader, a somewhat maudlin monument maybe but surely not offensive. The fact that 'War President' is not viewed [in] such a manner is not due to any intrinsic property of 'War President' but lies somewhere else."

For more information see the War President Mosaic's story
Friday, July 02, 2004
A friend sent me these entries, which are from the winning list of the Washington Post Word Contest. Very funny . . .

1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightie.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.

13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
Thursday, July 01, 2004

The Virginian-Pilot has done me proud. A really good news story from the hometown paper and it ends up being unintentionally funny at times...or maybe not so unintentional. Regardless, it's interesting.
Here it is.

Ok...the second page is the good stuff, but the whole story is pretty interesting.
Wow (the Victoria's Secret thing). That's just weird. It kind of startled me...

Victoria has a secret and it's pretty awful.
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
You are not alone.

It's awful. I do some of these things.

Remember: and 1234.
Great post Margaret.

"The law was passed in March in response to a weeklong residential camp for 11- to 18-year-olds last June at White Tail. . . ."

Wait a minute. You mean to say that someone decided to call a nudist camp "White Tail." Either that is a really sick joke, or somebody is really, really dense.
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
I am proud to announce that I will no longer be teaching in the Duval County Public School System (also known as the bastards), but will now be teaching at a private school here in Jacksonville. I will have six classes of twelve instead of three class of infinity. I will also not have to put up with the crap (no other way to say it) that goes along with working with the public school system.

Definitely breaking the diet to go out drinking tonight,

Your Maharaja
Grrrrrr. OK -- we are going to be able to sell this great house, because we've worked out A**es off for the past week, but I might kill my neighbors in the meantime.

The people from the homeowners association finally came to fix the loose siding on the house (long story - I'll vent about it some other time). While showing them where the siding was loose, one of them says:

"Is that always outside"
"I say yes" (thinking he is pointing to a cat usually camped under our front steps.)
Him: "Maybe it shouldn't be"
Me: Looking closer. "Crap that's the neighbor's pet ferret". He distracts ferret while I knock at neighbors. No one answers (but door is wide open, storm door closed).

We turn back to look at siding.

2 minutes later - siding people are gone. I'm thinking "that was fast. I'm going to make sure its actually done."

As I step out the door I see said ferret climbing into my neighbor's dryer vent. Thankfully not ours.

This so pisses me off, I will not be responsible for damage done to MY house from their animals.

Sorry, just had to vent.

So Ryan: Got anyone you want to show our 'lovely' house to?????

Monday, June 28, 2004
Comments on "Monster"
starring Charlize Theron, Christina Ricci, Dead Man 1...Dead Man n:

Q: What's the easiest way to sum up a movie that disturbed you more than the extremely disturbing movie you saw earlier this week?
A: "A man-fantasy gone horribly awry."

Honestly, I'm not sure what happened to me during this film, but I'm not the same. I mean...I slept three hours the night before and had been awake for an additional 17 hours when this movie started. I don't know if I blinked during the entire film. Oscar films are fucked up.

I am in Gaithersburg, MD today for training.

What I've learned so far:
1. I'm truly good at whatever it is I do.
2. I ROCK.
3. Some people don't know shit about what they're doing.

Congrats on the crib. I look forward to drinking some beers there next month.

One more thing: are all hotel beds harder than

Just thought I'd say


Anyone want to buy a nice townhome in C'ville's Belmont area? Come on - it's got a jacuzzi bathtub. Big basement. Neighbors with 5 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, 5 ferrets and a partridge and a pear tree (OK maybe we'll leave that part off the selling points) Anyone..... Anyone....
Saturday, June 26, 2004
Starcraft is evil.

Note the time.

Friday, June 25, 2004
I like cookies.
Leila - that article has earned itself a big, fat DUH.
I want to play Diablo right now.
Or Starcraft.

Hm. Definitely Starcraft.

Or Diablo.
Who knew?
Looks like a big blogger day!

A little potty humor for ya

Maybe that first one might work someday? Here's another though.
Following in the gamer genre established by the lastest posts,

I want to play Diablo right now . . ..

Last night, after packing some things in boxes, Meghan and I play a little Diablo, in Nightmare mode. We kicked the crap out of Baal and made it to Hell mode (a first time for both of us). Our characters are also now 66th level, which ties us with the highest level that Scot ever worked to (and Baxton, to the best of my knowledge).

Yeah for us. We are geeks.

We also meet the Baxton "devil worshiper" standard.
A few things:

Would it trouble you if your boss said this about something you were working on (trying to help you sort out some confusing issues)?:

"They're both the same thing, but different."

Mystic River Review (it's not really a spoiler):

This movie/book/story line had so much potential to not make me sick, but I feel compelled to stick my finger down my throat. It was a good film with good intentions, but like the Bush Administration - leaves some children behind. Most of the characters in this film just end up pissing you off. Watch it, but don't come crying to me later when you're an emotional invalid (and yes I do realize what I just said was impossible).

Rob, Click Here.

Hmm, it's interesting that in a country founded on principles of rebellion, so many people believe that it's Un-American to speak out against the president. When did we get royalty here? Where were these great "patriots" when cigars in the oval office was an issue? Oh, I know, they were out being hypocritical. I've guess they've traded in their hypocrite cards now. That said, if you get really bored you can check out some bad grammer and speeling here.