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Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring....

Very professional.
Friday, May 27, 2005
After a wondermous two-week vacation that included stops in Kennebunk and Kennebunkport, Maine (yes two separately joined cities), Plymouth, New Hampshire, Boston, Cambridge and Somerset, Mass. (forgot how to spell that state), Baltimore, Maryland, Random Places in Northern Virginia, and Charlottesville, Virginia I am ready for a few days of rest and sobriety. However, that will not happen because I failed my first class ever in life - Criminal Procedure. That's right. An "F." An "O say can you see" the big F-ing "F!" Naturally, we celebrated my new academic low with a game of drink-every-time-the-drill-sergeant-cursed-in-full-metal-jacket. Ten beers in 45 minutes later, I randomly called many people. If I called you - I'm sorry (insert pouty sad face here). Then I had a three hour long conversation with my ex-girlfriend most of which I do not remember, but I am sure she will.

I called the professor and discovered that I used the wrong student grading number and so he failed the correct number given him by the registrar. He said my grade will definitely change and at this point, any other grade will be an improvement.

I also discovered that I have many things planned for this wedding/memorial day weekend. We, the wedding partiers, have been challenged to top and $3800 open bar tab to which I responded, "YES! I ACCEPT!"

I also learned that my externship starts next week (June 1st), however no one knows where I am assigned or who I am to report to either. This will undoubtedly make for an interesting first day. So, if you hear about a man in a suit that was shot by the navy because he was wondering aimlessly around their base and mumbling words like, "I'm an extern" and "So is your old man!", then you can be proud in knowing that you know me and then saddened by the same fact.

So to all of those who bed me, fed me, drank with me, undressed me (with or without your hands or eyes), listened to me, talked to me, talked at me, laughed at me, yelled obscenities with me, danced with me (big gay dance party participants), porned me, sang with me, counseled me, pointed at me, waved at me, drove me, flew me, walked me and said nice things to me when I bumped my bead on the bottom step - a big fat THANX!
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Actually, here are the pics.

Why did it take me so long to post this? I've been meaning to since...well, since Meghan posted. But I am too lazy to go to my email, find the email with the photo link, copy it, and then go to blogger.com and enter my username and password, apparently. Which may also be why I don't post that much in the first place. Sorry.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
For those of you who have not met the newest "member" of the Blog, here are some pictures of little Jeffrey Anderson - or as Mr. Baxton insists on calling him -- Jefe.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005
OK - in the past two nights I think I've gotten a total of about 5 hours of sleep. That's not consecutive either. It seems that Jeffrey thinks he's supposed to sleep all day and stay up all night. In my sleep deprived state I have not given him a proper introduction to the Blog (although I thought about it at 3 AM last night). Thanks John for giving everyone the lowdown on Jeff's arrival. I'm going to try and sleep a few minutes now - wait Erin needs something. Well maybe not.
I would like to welcome our newest blog member, Jeffrey Anderson Wallace or "Jefe". I'm sure that for at least the next few years he'll keep up his parents' tradition of ignoring the blog. In any case, it's been a big month of extractions, some exciting and some not so great.
Monday, May 09, 2005
What the Fuck. I'm reading fark and happen upon a picture of John!?!?

search for ExSharky.

John, pictures of you and your maxipad are making their way around the internet!
Friday, May 06, 2005
So, today was my last day at Kaplan. It was a little emotional - I wasn't leaving because I hated the job or anything, and my manager has become a good friend. The new job is going to be great, and I'm still going to hang out with Katie, but still - I really liked the job (and the power I had in that office), so leaving it was a little emotional.

(I have a feeling any men reading this are going "Huh?" and any women reading this might have a clue what I'm talking about.)

Anyway, so the drive home was crappy. Bad traffic, stopped at every light, some weird accident at Hydraulic Rd or something. Finally got home, carrying all of my office possessions, exhausted, and needing a drink. Got upstairs, said hello to my husband, and his reply was... "Hmph."

He is having some complications with his wisdom teeth removal. He thinks it's dry sockets or sinus related complications or something. It's a decidedly "Blech" day in the Baxton household.

Thank God It's Friday.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
It's 5:30 AM. I have a cold of some sort. My throat hurts. I'm wearing a maxipad around my head. I'm going to work this morning. I haven't properly brushed my teeth in 2 days.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
1. Why is John wearing a Maxi Pad?

2. Completely unrelated to number one, I have read many constitutional arguments in my three years in law school and, I must say, I have come across a truly lovely statement on constitutional law.

It has long since become an established rule of constitutional law in these United States that power and discretion, however exerted, and by whomsoever exercised, must be used in such a manner not to infringe upon or impair the fundamental rights of life, liberty, property, and the pursuit of happiness. The very idea that one man may be compelled to hold his life, business, property, means of living, or any material thing essential to his enjoyment of life, at the mere will of another, is intolerable to any country where freedom prevails, and is the very essence of slavery itself.

Yick Wo v. Hopkins 118 U.S. 356

3. It is only sad because I see myself leaving myself in that these are the things that excite me.
I'm really hating blogger this week. I tried for 20 minutes to use their little thingy to post pictures, but it didn't work. Parental Guidance Advised.

The naked tuth:

Last night sucked.

It's interesting that JB called it [below] a maxipad because it is now...well...bloody. I spent half of last night awake salivating and since I couldn't swallow while sleeping, I was either drooling or spitting. To top it all off, the doctor's office gave us a call at 8:15 to see how I was doing. While I appreciate this call, Margaret didn't. Apparently they missed the memo.

At about 2:15 I found myself in front of Alderman Library. As usual, it was "unexpectedly" crowded. A good time was had by all. This event was followed by beers at Baja Bean.

I can't drink.

...and I'm beginning to swell.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005
This morning I prayed. Yes, prayed. A strange man and two strange women were pricking me with a needle, struggling to find the right place to prick.

Luckily, I woke up.

Here I am now, praying that my wife's agonizing experience with her wisdom teeth removal recovery will somehow allow me to be excused from things like separation from solid food, hellish oral agony, and of course, dry sockets. The first wish has already escaped me.

I'll be back tomorrow with an update on my status.

Crap, I just realized that there's an apple pie in my fridge and ice cream in my freezer. Depression has set in.
JB, your post was so full of grammatical mistakes and misspellings that I thought maybe you were just trying to entice me to post, just to correct you. Then I thought maybe you were drinking while typing. Then I thought maybe I was just a jerk for even noticing and wanting to correct you. Then I thought that since you know about my little disability, my first thought was probably correct, and you were just provoking me. But then I thought that since I know you pretty well, my second thought was probably correct. Then I got confused.

JB will be here soon!
My brain hurts.
Ladies, Gentlemen, Bloggers!

We have cycled around to that time again. That time when I must, as your faithful, hardworking Maharaja, present The State of The Blog Address.

As the competition for Trivia Champion approaches it's boiling point, the interest in blogging approaches its freezing point. We as bloggers must fight our ADD tendencies. The grass is not greener. The pie is not sweeter. And that shiny things is really just the reflection of the sun on broken glass. Hear me, dare I say, and listen. Our precious blog is dying and only you can save it.

Trivia is a wonderful thing, but it is the blog that has gotten us here. Here to this trivial pursuit of academic prestige. I challenge each of you. To a dual, you say? No. To a pie eating contest, you say? No. To a race perhaps. No. I challenge each of your to blog. Throughout history, wars have been successful in stimulating economies and challenges have been successful in stimulating blogs (tradition has to start somewhere).

As I close, I leave you with one thing. BLOG!!!!

God bless you, these united States, and the omnipotent blog.

"..........................from sea to shining sea..................."
This blog is becomingstagnant.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Duck Cheney has been moved to a secure, disclosed, off-site location.
Key quote: The duck acquired several nicknames from Treasury workers and other people passing by the building. Names included "Quacks Reform," "T-Bill" and "Duck Cheney."
I still prefer "Mr. Waddlesworth."