The Thinking Minority

MICROSOFT VS. GM

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computershave enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gatesreportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "IfGM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all bedriving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:If GM had developed technology like! Microsoft, we would all be driving carswith the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a newcar.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would haveto pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car,restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reasonyou would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstallthe engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, fivetimes as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent ofthe roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all bereplaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warninglight.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out andrefuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned thekey and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how todrive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the samemanner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.