Blogger Template by Blogcrowds

Saturday, August 27, 2005
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the institution of marriage.
Friday, August 26, 2005
Thursday, August 25, 2005
My weeds are also growing out of control.

You don't want a dog.

The only thing worse than a dog is three dogs, which is what I've been taking care of since I've been back.

I have to feed each one separately and they all eat different things. It's the most annoying thing ever. It's like a logic puzzle every morning. Did I mention I only have two bowls but three dogs?

Last night and this morning they ALL shit all over the house. It smells terrible. Did I have time to clean it up this morning? No. So what's going to greet me when I get home from my shitty work at 9pm again? Huge piles of dog shit.

Finally he posts...Of course, I'm posting out of anger.

1. My job is extremely stressful.
2. I am of questionable health.
3. People should really stop using checks at grocery stores. I want to strike them.
4. My job is extremely unrewarding.
5. I ache.
6. People wait for my light to change before crossing against the sign.
7. Tenants change locks without permission.
8. My weeds are growing out of control.
9. No dog, no 530i.
10. Dubya is still the president.
11. Being morally correct means controlling people, but not helping them.
12. Traffic.
13. I am NOT the Supreme Ruler of the Universe.
14. Walmart.
15. Someone else is getting these "increased salaries" that are being mentioned when they talk about housing prices.
16. It's in my nature not to complete projects.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Ciggarettes can cause cancer, which can kill you.

Alchohol can cause cirrhosis of the liver, which can kill you, but it makes for a wonderful pair of beer/alchohol/wine goggles and the rhythmically challenge deserving of dancer roles in the new Breakin' Movie.

Prostitution can cause an STD, GSW or Stab wound, which can kill you or hurt like hell for a very long time, but you get off.

Marijuana can cause cancer, which can kill you, but it is so much fun, who cares.

Riding a motorcycle can only kill you if you fatally crash your motorcycle into, say, a wall, car, another motorcycle, you become a victim of over-correction, or God decides to squish you with his finger. Otherwise, the chances of dying in a motorcycle accident parallels the chances of dying in a car accident. If the car in question was an SUV and you were on the motorcycle, your chances are dipped in your disfavor. Likewise, if the car in question was a Pinto, your chances are dipped in your disfavor, but with the added bonus of a great ball of fire.

Pornography has not killed anyone. Sure, it has caused some chaffing, a little carpal tunnel and an emabarassing couple of dinners with your girlfriend's parents, but death, however, no.

I say smoke, drink, snort, wack, ride, pop, shoot, inject, oggle, watch, eat and do whatever makes you feel good becuase none of these options are available in neither heaven or hell.

Always a twisted thought away,
The Urban Legend
Don't pick on my son. He'll get a full head of hair when he gets a full head of hair.

Let's not let this blog degenerate into a my-kid-is-cuter-than-your-kid contest, especially since it's clear my kid is the cutest. There's just no point in arguing.

Google image search: ugly baby

For lack of a better segue, I think we should agree now to avoid statements of the form, "Does your (son | daughter | nephew | [relation]) [insert ability or indication of developmental milestone here] yet?" Examples of forbidden questions abound, but here are a few:
Does your son have hair yet? (as noted above)
Does your daughter pee in a toilet yet?
Does your nephew walk yet?
Does your son/daughter/cousin/brother/sister/niece/nephew love Jesus yet? (this one really ticks me off)
Friday, August 19, 2005
He is very adorable, but hey - - - when is he gonna get some hair? Not that I can really speak as Jeffrey has none of his own either.

And since we're showing off...

Those are my two babies.
Thursday, August 18, 2005

I just had to put this picture of my nephew up - I just noticed that Blogger made it easy to post photos. Isn't he adorable?
Bush will 'go on with life'

Defends refusal to meet protester
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Cox News Service

CRAWFORD, Texas - President Bush, noting that lots of people want to talk to the president and "it's also important for me to go on with my life," on Saturday defended his decision not to meet with the grieving mom of a soldier killed in Iraq.

Bush said he is aware of the anti-war sentiments of Cindy Sheehan and others who have joined her protest near the Bush ranch.

"But whether it be here or in Washington or anywhere else, there's somebody who has got something to say to the president, that's part of the job," Bush said on the ranch. "And I think it's important for me to be thoughtful and sensitive to those who have got something to say."

"But," he added, "I think it's also important for me to go on with my life, to keep a balanced life."
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
So, seeing as how the blog has...well...withered, I thought I'd try to inspire some lively debate. Anyone who'd like to pose a question, take a poll, etc, is welcome to do so, but let me start with this:

Cigarettes, pornography, and alcohol are legal. Marijuana, prostitution, and riding a motorcycle without a helmet are not. Does this make any sense at all?
Thursday, August 11, 2005
BOO! False Alarm.
YAY! The old blog is back!
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Ha ha ha ha ha if no one can get to trivia, I win!

On behalf of my husband, let me apologize for screwing up the blog template...

It IS pretty, though...

-Mrs. B
How do I get to trivia? How do I know who published a certain comment? How do I know if he really loves me? I say a prayer with every heartbeat. When do I get my blog back? Astardsbay!
What the hell happened to the Blog! Astardsbay!
Oooh! An all-new crappy template, complete with annoying animation!
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
For those of you who wanted for view the ACLU memo but didn't get to see it before they took it down: click here.
Monday, August 01, 2005
On behalf of the ACLU, I'd like to say: Oops.