Blogger Template by Blogcrowds

Friday, July 30, 2004
I just sent it to I don't expect a response, but...who else could we send this to?

We have devised the perfect voting system. We rock.
Actually, the second scanning machine is a good idea. We already have the OCR technology, and the talley of the two machines would have to match in order for the votes to be "verified" by each state. Not bad. Can we send it to
Thursday, July 29, 2004
I would like to welcome Kesiah Dodson into the world - though her parents are not bloggers, we can only hope that one day she will be.
Sure john, you just had to encourage me to leave a trollish comment on her site. And I should be hard at work documenting our latest succesful project.

What the hell is wrong with people? 

Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Ok, how about this: electronic voting, a paper printed ballot from that machine for verification, that paper ballot can be scanned by another machine (made by different people, of course)...? And we still can count by hand if necessary, and it would be faster than counting chads?
The problem is that people are trying to find shortcuts or ways to bypass the hand counting. The country is so big we rely on technology for everything. No one wants to count all those paper ballotts, and even if they did, doing so would take months. Hence, the chads, punchcard ballotts, and so on, all countable by machine. Even in Florida, when the election results were CONTESTED, the Supreme Court basically decided that it took too long to count the ballotts by hand (difficulty reading them notwithstanding), and HAVING a president was more important than viably ELECTING him (dontcha like the precident set there?) -- and Florida is a lot smaller in population than say New York or California.

So, we all know that electronic voting machines are insanely vulnerable, and could under the right circumstances constitute a threat to actual democracy. But, is there a practical way to check the machine?
So I was reading some things on MoveOn (see the link on the left), and I don't understand the big controversy over computerized and paper ballots. There is a very, very simple solution: We vote on a machine, it prints out a sheet saying who we voted for (just the names we voted FOR, it doesn't list everyone, so there's no question) - then we double-check the paper receipt, save our vote on the machine, and put the paper printout in a box. The machines count the electronic votes and report the winner, and as a check the paper votes are also counted. No hacking, no rigging, no hanging chads. Why is this so hard? The perfect system uses both computers and paper - for speed, convenience, security, and accuracy. This is not difficult to figure out.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.............

Does this guy even KNOW what he does?
This idiot is back ...

So, apparently, he has taken my sage advice to heart and is sending out a new piece of spam:

------ Forwarded Message
From: "gary towers"
Date: Mon, 26 Jul 2004 19:39:28 -0400
Subject: Freelance Writer Query...

Hey J.,

Does your company use freelance writers? I have named many things.

Gary Towers

I would like to quote from my business parter's response:

And again, how can I not be impressed by the fact that he has “named many things”? I, too, have named many things...

Crabby old people
Crappy managers
Favorite college t-shirts
My blanket from toddlerdom
Imaginary friends
Body parts
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Sorry, here is the article. AOL is so exclusive.

Castro Denies Sex Tourism Allegations

SANTA CLARA, Cuba (July 27) - Fidel Castro rejected charges by President Bush that he promotes sex tourism in Cuba, then went on the offensive to dredge up old reports about his American nemesis' alleged past drinking habits.

Castro vigorously denied Bush's recent allegations, saying that what the White House believes is ''that which the president makes up in his head, whether it corresponds to reality or not.''

''There are many in the world who know very little about the Cuban revolution, and could fall prey to the lies diffused by the United States,'' the Cuban president said Monday night at the island's annual Revolution Day celebration in the central city of Santa Clara.

During a speech in Tampa, Fla., earlier this month, Bush accused Castro of turning Cuba into a major destination for sex tourism, which is ''a vital source of hard currency to keep his corrupt government afloat.''

''The regime in Havana, already one of the worst violators of human rights in the world, is adding to its crimes. Castro welcomes sex tourism,'' Bush said at the July 16 conference on ''human trafficking'' - forced labor, sex and military service.

Although prostitution exists in Cuba, it is unorganized and has been far less visible since Castro launched a massive crackdown on street crime in early 1999.

Castro said someone should have told Bush that before Cuba's 1959 revolution about 100,000 women were involved in prostitution because of poverty, discrimination or unemployment. The were all educated and given other jobs, he said.

Castro then lashed out at Bush in a more personal manner, summarizing arguments made in Justin A. Frank's book, ''Bush on the Couch: Inside the Mind of the President,'' and saying that Bush apparently had replaced his drinking with religious fundamentalism.

''He depends on religion as a defense mechanism, substituting thought,'' said Castro, paraphrasing from the book by the Washington, D.C.-based psychoanalyst and professor of psychiatry during the island's Revolution Day celebration in the central city of Santa Clara. ''In some ways, he doesn't even have to think.''

In an autobiography when he was Texas governor, Bush wrote about swearing off alcohol in 1986, when he was 40, after a spiritual awakening.

Earlier Monday, Communist Party faithful gathered for the speech in this provincial capital, where red, white and blue Cuban flags hung from the sides of buildings in observance of the 51st anniversary of the failed July 26, 1953, attack on a military barracks that launched the Cuban revolution.

The top leaders of Cuba's ruling Communist Party were among about 1,000 people attending the annual event in Santa Clara, home to a major monument housing the remains of revolutionary icon Ernesto ''Che'' Guevara.

About 30,000 people originally were scheduled to attend an outdoor event outside, but it was moved inside due to threat of rain. The event was also broadcast live on Cuba's state-run television and radio.

Castro ended his comments to Bush saying he hoped God does not ''instruct'' him to invade the island, a fear the Cuban leader often repeats.

''He had better check on any divine belligerent order by consulting the Pope and other prestigious dignitaries ... asking them for their opinion,'' he said.

After the speech, Castro hugged Elian Gonzalez - the 10-year-old boy made famous after a high-charged custody battle between his Cuban family and relatives in Miami - and Gonzalez's younger half-brother.

Elian was found clinging to an inner tube off Florida's coast in November 1999 after a shipwreck that killed his mother and others leaving Cuba. He returned with his father to the island in July 2000.

AP-NY-07-27-04 0306EDT

Copyright 2004 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. All active hyperlinks have been inserted by AOL.

Hmmm, I can't get to leila's column, but I think she was linking to this

Castro - 1 Bush - 0
Monday, July 26, 2004
If you count all of the cities around the world that I have lived in, and all of the prostitutes that I have slept with in my lifetime, including that one, then I can safely say that I have no experiece with prostitutes whatsoever. After all, I am still young, dumb and ...well you know the rest.
Ha ha ha - the last sentence in this article is PRICELESS.
Which reminds me, JB, how much experience HAVE you had with prostitutes - that you could write an essay about it?
I wish you had saved a copy of that essay - that'd be even better than the animals deserve to be eaten one!  So I made it down to DC for a fairly tame wedding, trying my best to remember people's names and not say anything improper.  I think I managed that, but I did have a conversation with the priest that presided over the ceremony that sort of revealed my lackluster church attendance.  I had planned on visiting some folks while I was down there but as it turned out I really didn't have much time to do anything social.

Oh, and a friend of mine, (and former roomate) is a porno actress now working for Vivid Video.  And we're not talking the tame stuff on Skinemax like Lord of the G-Strings, we're talking the full on porno.  Oh The places you'll go.

Not really much point to this one, but I haven't blogged in some time, have to check in!
Sunday, July 25, 2004
Go ahead, Fantasty Football players.  Draft Ricky Williams.  I don't want him, you can have him.
Frat boys: They know the important issues.
Saturday, July 24, 2004
Today, for the first time since Harry banged Sally, I saw what 6:30am on a Saturday looked like and, let me tell you, I didn't like what I saw. So, this morning I was both sober and angry, which are both optimum attitudes for taking a test to determine your qualifications to teach a class grotesquely below your level.

As I entered Starbucks for that caffeinated concoction that blows me away, the barristress could not help but ask, "Who pissed you off so early in the morning?" To which I responded, "Life. Now, give me my coffee and leave me be." In hindsight, I think it was a bit uncalled for, but now she has an awful story to forever tell the future barristers of Starbucks.

Then I arrived at the testing site, took my seat and prepared to embark on a journey that proves I am intelligent enough to teach.  The essay question was......drum roll.........."Write an essay about something you were encouraged to do as a child that impacted you positively." In my positive state of mind, of course, I wrote about oral sex and how it has changed my life. I titled it, "Encouraged to be more oral in meretricious relationships."

Since I no longer need the results of that test to maintain my present employment with a private school, I wrote an essay that will stick in the mind of the grader forever. Not to mention I may not get a passing grade, which is six out of a possible ten points.

I now return to studying Legal Ethics (That still make me chuckle).

Thursday, July 22, 2004
You know,

Despite pretty much flunking out of college twice and living like a rock star sometimes (and not in the good ways)...I have a wonderful and beautiful wife, a nice house, a not-so-bad job, and fairly low cholesterol.  It's a surprise to me that I make it to each birthday.  

Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes!  I had a WONDERFUL birthday.  Who's ready for John's birthday now?  Will there be a surprise???

Gen, I think his explanation made it worse.  He was trying to make it work, but it just...didn't.
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Happy Birthday Margaret!  I don't know the date so I won't even try. Happy Birthday, Nonetheless.
Happy Birthday to my sister ... ah yes, I remember when you were born. I may even have some incriminating photos ...

And, for your amusement - This is the type of correspondence I regularly receive, as owner of my own company:

From: "gary towers"
Date: Mon, 17 May 2004 21:00:26 -0400
Subject: Freelance Writer Query...


Does your company use freelance writers? If so,
I would like to send some nomenclature to the proper person.


Gary Towers
Follow up: =======

Hi Genevieve,

I looked up "nomenclature," a 2nd definition in a Webster's read "the act of a system of naming." But maybe I should just say "naming." If it was a speedbump to you, it probably is to other people also.

Attached are some ads with brief commentary, my resume, theme lines and names. Please take a look, and tell me what you think.


Gary Towers
Marietta, GA


Can anyone tell me how "the act of a system of naming" works with his first e-mail? Does his explanation in any way make this better? Silly me, I may just have an MA in English, but what do I know ...


Punk Voter (links - over to your left) is completely discrediting its movement.  Apparently they forgot to hire an editor. 
For example:
  • "America needs to know about the thousand of cases that the Act has wrongfully violated people’s protected civil liberties instead of the few examples of how the Act is helping to end interdepartmental confusion to catch the bad guys."
  • "This is important folks, this is the first time Punkvoter has ever asked our members and friends to un-snap their wallets for a candidate!"

See if you can find the issues here.  Damned punkers.



Dearest Mrs. Baxton,
Happy Birthday.  I could make lots of jokes about you being old, never will be old to me - just more irritated. 
Heres to you and worse grammer too!
Irritated yet?
Monday, July 19, 2004
Mrs. Baxton has the best blogs!
Ahh, good, a new game: Which country will we attack next, simultaneously alleging an al-Qaeda/Sept. 11 link and pronouncing that we have found no connection?

This is brilliant.  If you have to log in, use and 1234.  I can't describe how brilliant this book review is.  Just can't.
Friday, July 16, 2004
In our next house, John and I WILL have one of these.
So, yesterday I held my first teacher meeting.  I think it went well - though I suppose I started it in rather a corny way, I had each teacher introduce him/herself and say something interesting.  One teacher's interesting thing was that he has started a blog, and he was looking around at other local blogs, and saw that one blog owner was the Associate Manager of Kaplan Test Prep & Admissions (that's me).  I briefly described our little blog here, and said that I don't blog at work (when I do, it's during my lunch, actually) (except now) (anyway...) - good thing I had already told Katie (my manager) about the blog!  :-)
So how are my fellow bloggers?  I described this blog as mostly being political rants, though I suppose lately that's not true...  Which reminds me, we will be having an election party this year.  We will either watch the news and drink and celebrate, or watch the news and drink and cry.  Those with differing political views are welcome to attend at their own risk.
Thursday, July 15, 2004
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah shelton!
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Now I'm REALLY hungry. Anybody got any squirrel for me to eat?

Tuesday, July 13, 2004
McNoggin - truth or urban legend? Scroll down to the middle of the article to see the pic! Go Newport News!
Monday, July 12, 2004
In the spirit of the last post: Charriot is dead.

For those of you are in the dark, Charriot was a Blue 1991 Oldsmobile Cutlass Cierra and could party with the best of them - though she was the worst. She was crushed on one side and the front, could not carry more that two people at a time (nor one safely), and in her last days soldiered on with only three legs.

Friday morning was Charriot's last ride. She got me to the gym and home again for the last time. Saturday evening she was replaced with a White 1995 Buick Park Avenue. When I went to move Charriot for her successor, her life force was no more. I am now the proud owner of two cars - one dead.

In any event, I have another car!

I have not named her(im) yet, but I have a list of names.

1. Charriot
2. Charriot 2
3. Charriot II
4. Charriot B
5. Charriot Reincarnated
6. Charriot: The Revenge
7. Charriot: Bigger and Whiter
8. The Great White Charriot
9. The Ghosts of Charriot Past

Please feel free to vote or send write-ins.

Happy Blogging!
Saturday, July 10, 2004
Hm...not much blogging lately.

So sad.
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Here is a shocker . . .

You really begin to appreciate how out of touch with reality the two of them are when you read the last line. "We wanted to appear in this ad because we love the campaign and we want to help make sure our fans are healthy like us."

Come on girls . . . As if anyone really thought that you were healthy. It is hard to claim to be healthy when you weigh 70 pounds, soaking wet.
(First Blog, forgive me if I break any rules of etiquette)

So I was in DC this past weekend and saw a guy walking down the street from trashcan to trashcan mysteriously digging. I came to discover what he was looking for when in about the third receptacle, he pulled up a nearly empty bag of chips. He tilted his head back and poured the last few remaining crumbs into his mouth. It was as if all of a sudden I realized the extent to which I was not thankful for all that I had been blessed. In my 27 years, I had never longed for food to eat or a place to sleep. Nourishment and shelter are truly blessings for which we should all be grateful. (Lesson: Bitchin’ and whinin’ are relative wastes of energy since millions have lives 100X tougher than ours.)

Tuesday, July 06, 2004
A friend sent this photo-mosaic to me. I thought you all might like to see it.

"War President"

From the Artist: "An image is like an empty room and any message that one reads in that room necessarily came in the baggage one carried when one walked in the door. If I made a mosaic of George Washington composed of images of the American dead from the revolution, would viewers likely take that image as an indictment of [President] Washington? I submit that they would not. It would be viewed as a monument to the dead and a celebration of a great leader, a somewhat maudlin monument maybe but surely not offensive. The fact that 'War President' is not viewed [in] such a manner is not due to any intrinsic property of 'War President' but lies somewhere else."

For more information see the War President Mosaic's story
Friday, July 02, 2004
A friend sent me these entries, which are from the winning list of the Washington Post Word Contest. Very funny . . .

1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightie.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.

13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
Thursday, July 01, 2004

The Virginian-Pilot has done me proud. A really good news story from the hometown paper and it ends up being unintentionally funny at times...or maybe not so unintentional. Regardless, it's interesting.
Here it is.

Ok...the second page is the good stuff, but the whole story is pretty interesting.
Wow (the Victoria's Secret thing). That's just weird. It kind of startled me...

Victoria has a secret and it's pretty awful.