The Thinking Minority

Last sentence. This is cnn, people. Hire an editor. Hire me to edit. More than happy to.

And someone get the Nobel Prize ready for whoever invented this.

Her rock can't be that big, since it went unnoticed by all those guests...

And - I know I'm being petty here - but doesn't this picture look like his suit is too big? Sort of like a kid wearing daddy's suit?

It's a fish. It can live on land. It eats everything. And it's coming soon to a lake near you.

I knew they couldn't contain this thing.

Ok, and I know this is picky, but - if they say that it was worth it to remove Saddam, doesn't that technically imply that the war did more good than harm? How can you say that something did more harm than good, but was worth it? Isn't something only worth it if it did more good than harm? hm?

On a more serious note, the government is trying to take away our Constitutional right to annoy squirrels.

Here we go again. If your 12-year-old kills someone - YOU HAVE FAILED.

There's a sentence at the end of this article that I find funny - he was on probation for assault and was not supposed to consume alcohol. Yes...and he was also not supposed to consume alcohol while driving, because that's illegal ALL THE TIME.

OK folks. When I posted THIS last night it had recieved not quite 100,000 hits and was going for $810. Now . . . Oh My God, some people have too much money to throw around. I guess being on the Today Show this morning didn't hurt his cause.

Now THIS is funny. And Creative, I might say.

Most Shocking Headline Of The Century.

Now HERE'S a do-it-yourself project that....well....quite frankly...don't try this at home. Really. Don't.

I'm stealing blog material, and now I'm stealing comments:

"We are looking for agent every country"

All your foreskin are belong to us!

Ahhhhhhhhhh the skin on my shoulders has broken and it hurts it hurts it hurts.....

I'm stupid.

Tom - I am trying to get a "complete financial picture" in Quicken. Set up bank accounts, credit cards, cars, mortgages, etc. Except half of them won't sync with online, so I have to enter them manually, and the rest of it is so convoluted and counterintuitive that I think it's worthless. And I'm not an idiot with computers, in general. But this is ridiculous.

John - I couldn't open that link. Who got shot? Other than that, I agree with you, as per usual.

The only other thing I have to say is: OW.

Honestly,

We don't need gun control in this country. What we do need are families, churches and schools that can teach the importance of peaceful resolution to conflict. Until then, assholes shouldn't be given guns. Failing that, if you've got to shoot someone - make sure you only shoot the person you mean to shoot. Furthermore...shot glasses? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

I HATE QUICKEN.

Little League Gives Northern VA Jurisdiction Over Mars

I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken I hate Quicken

I fought the sun and the sun won.

I believe The Man (hehe) outlawed the showing of military casualties arriving home because it scares John and Jane Q. Public, which causes them (just the two of them) to turn against the war effort. Apparently, the reality of dying soldiers is too much for them to handle. The last time this happened was Vietnam and well know how that turned out. In short, no it is not legal, but there is a great constitutional argument here with freedom of the press and all (sorry, I am preparing for exams again).

Quick question - is this legal? I don't think so....

Wayne Brady. Excellent. I wonder if I can sign up again, and try to get DaveChappelle@gmail.com, or RickJames@Gmail.com, or ...

Jelani, hon, we haven't forgotten you, it's just that none of us know what Southern Rock is either....

Yes! I am waynebrady@gmail.com. SPAM ME!

I am now also margaret.baxton@gmail.com. We'll see if it's all it's cracked up to be. I doubt I'll use the email address - but I'll use the storage!

Blogger just invited me to try GMail.

The primary problem with the hydrogen beer story IS physics. Or biology. Two sentences in a row say that hydrogen in the lungs causes high voices, then says you can achieve this by drinking the beer. When you drink, if you do it right, nothing goes into your lungs....

Man...Elrond is sofa king cool...cooler than Ice. Man, I wish they had a cool test that I couldn't guess right off though...

does that make me cooler? or just a poser?

and finally...here's who I really am!


http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RBLD&g=1&o=1&h=165

Interesting tidbits - Jackson has been indicted, they have made a Jackdoll (and you know who "they" are), and I have finally discovered the study method that could have SO helped me in college.

I am Elrond on Ice!

I pose a challenge to the Thinking Minority!

I have been invited to join a blues band, thanks to my drunken rendition of Bon Jovi's Wanted (thanx bax). The bad news...er...the other news is they also want me to sing Southern Rock. What the hell is Southern Rock?!? So I have been searching the internet, what I found leads me to believe that I may only make one gig. Still, I have been invited to a preliminary jam session so they can asses my talent(s). So I need some buzz words so I can at least appear cool or should I say kool or kewl.....but, I digress. In any event, here is my challenge to you, The Thinking Minority.......HELP!!!!!!!!!

And yes while I am in the ville, I will board (and room) with The Baxtons (yay!), so feel free to come and drink booze with me. The least I remember the better. Remember, you thinking minorities, I am a studyholic (who am I kidding?), workaholic (hahahahaha), so I can drink you all under the perverbial table. Another challenge, I dare say? Hmmm.......

Wow. Lots of blogger action today. I'm impressed. JB, are you staying with us during your 25th-2nd stint? Shouldn't we just email instead of blogging? Oh well.

Ice

You're the coolest. You're so cool you could freeze a person from across the room.

P.S. I like cookies too. We'll have cookies on the 25th.

School ends on the 25th and you'll be here on the 25th? Rock on.

I don't know if you get the 5th off, hon, I think I do. You should check on that. Having to go back Sunday night would suck bigtime.

I am Celeborn, apparently. And I'm warm pop. Mmmm.....pop.

Here's another one. Which Elf Are You? .

Signed, Arwen the hopeless romantic. UCK.

Trying Again. Sorry. Maybe not so Cool Here.

This goes along with the HamBone thingie and is good for a laugh. Are You Cool ?.

Warm Pop, Baby

This goes along with the HamBone thingie and is good for a laugh. Are You Cool ?.

Warm Pop, Baby

This goes along with the HamBone thingie and is good for a laugh. Are You Cool ?.

Warm Pop, Baby

I miss you too! High school ends on the 25th of May (not looking forward to it or anything), so I will be in the ville on the 25th. I plan to leave on the 2nd of June since tennis instruction starts on the 3rd for me and classes start on the 7th. The fourth this year is on a Sunday. Do we get Monday off as well (vaguely remembering that there is some rule about two holidays on the same day)?

ps. I like cookies.

Hey Jelani, we miss you.

Interesting...but I have to say - and this is quite odd coming from me - but whoever made the "boob job" page seems a bit....catty. I mean, some of them are pretty bad, but some of it just sounds like jealousy - a few of the ones at the end, I can't figure out what they're talking about. All fake boobs look kinda fake. You can't really get around that because they are fake. But some are worse than others...and some of the ones on that page aren't that bad. I dunno.

Having blog problems. Let's see if this posts three times.

The Exorcist in 30 Seconds.

Also - and I promised I'd link to it - here it is. Ladies and gentlemen, when you go to have surgery, please make sure your doctors have graduated from the third grade.

If President Bush got his briefings in a dumbed-down format, perhaps he could understand them.

I'm feeling pretty alone at work here, so if anyone is out there...please post. Please.

Sure, sure...we'll stop shooting you, as long as you're unarmed. Really.

And is it just me, or was last month "the deadliest so far" in the non-war? And now, this month is the deadliest so far? Mid-month? What do we have to look forward to next month?

Ok...now....this is bad. And I don't believe the last two sentences.

Funny Toons (Political)

After seeing that I did post to announce my "no show," I am wrecked with laughter in a completely somber, pissed of kind of way.

Never look forward to anything for it will disappoint you always.

As the motto of my dredful weekend, I vow to embark on a conquest of pessimistic pontification.

Until May and July Fourth, so long from the sunny side.

Fun reading.

Oh, PLEASE.

Oh, I'm sorry, I was wrong - scroll all the way down - your life is worth $12,000 a year.

I will act as translator: I have been drinking. As it appears, I am not going to make it to Charlottesville. Thanks to a wreck, and a wreck to my car. I am stuck at home. I have been drinking a lot. Sorry about the typing. I hate Jacksonville. This is why I am drinking a lot. Good night all!

Incidentally, just so you know, your life is only worth $20,000 a year.

As it appears, I am not foing to make it to cville. Thanks to a wrteck, adn a wreck to my calr. I am dtusk tat home. sorry abo7u the typinh. i hte javlovilel. gopod nithgt all!

(to the tune of On The Rough Side of The Mountain)
I comin' up,
On the night side
Of the Friday
I'm gonna spend some time
Drinking and losing my pants
I'm coming up
On the fun side
Of the weekend
I'm doin' my best
To keep drinkin'

I will be on the ground in Richmond, Virginia at 8:15 Friday Night.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!

Can girls be ham-bones?

17...

I was a 7, but then that last question sounds just me...

I am a 2, teetering on 3.

Yeah...

Taxes suck. Wish I had a house last year. What a horrible day! Well, I'm working from home tomorrow...which means sulking. I think I need many drinks this weekend. Hopefully something good will come of this money.

Angrily,

John

STOP!!!! GET OFF OF THE PHONE!!! YOU'RE KILLING ME!!!!!!!!! OK, Ipod Time.

It started out innocently enough.

I began to think at parties now and then -- to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid
friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.

I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?" Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my husband about the meaning of life. He spent that night at his mother's.

I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Shirley, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..." "I know you've been thinking," he said, "and I want a divorce!" "But Honey, surely it's not that serious." "It is serious," he said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!" "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and he began to cry.

I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with NPR on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors... they didn't open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground, clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed ...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. Soon, I will be able to vote Republican.

OK...

so... yeah...

Why must someone make 5 personal phone calls in their cube before 10:30? Why must she be extremely loud? Why does her cell phone have the most annoying ring ever? WHY ARE THERE TWO OF THESE PEOPLE IN MY OFFICE?

WHY?

Sign up for the free account.

OK - we've all known this for quite a while, but here is more proof that our president is a bumblimg idiot. Ummmm, well, You kinda caught me off guard, ummmm. Oh My God!!!

In answering quesions from the press last night:


Nonetheless, the president expressed confidence he would win over voters this fall.

"I don't plan on losing my job. I plan on telling the American people that I've got a plan to win the war on terror. And I believe they'll stay with me," he said.

Though nearly half the questions Bush fielded offered him the chance to admit a mistake or express regret for his administration's actions in Iraq or on the 2001 attacks, he never did - except to apologize that he couldn't come up with any example of a failing.

"I don't want to sound like I have made no mistakes. I'm confident I have," he said. "I just haven't - you just put me under the spot here, and maybe I'm not as quick on my feet as I should be in coming up with one."


ARGHHHHHHH.

Ahhhhh....such good samaritans those sratties are.

And...how much money did they think the store would have? Let's assume we start with $50 in the register, and movies are $4 each, and there were probably 10 customers at most by 10:50 am (since the store opens at 10), let's say each person rents 2 movies with no coupons AND they all pay with cash...that's another $80 in sales, in addition to the $50 in the register (and I'll bet only one drawer was out that early in the morning), so that's a grand total of $130. 10 hostages? A SWAT team? ...was it worth it?

So...this morning our fax machine stopped working. Through some experimentation, I discovered that it was not the fax machine, but the phone line that was not working. I called Sprint to schedule a repair appointment...and was told that our fax number did not exist. Not only is it not currently active, it has NEVER been active. I tried to explain that we get faxes on that number at least once a day, and have for the past four months, and the customer service representative's response was "Well, I don't know how."

Me either.

Now that's funny as a**

Oh, and - HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

More and more evidence that Bush dropped the ball.

Ok folks. On your mark, get set, go!!! Time for some treasure hunting. We know there are some folks with money here in the 'Ville and many of them don't have much to so, so maybe they've hidden it out there somewhere. It actually looks pretty cool.

http://www.geocaching.com/

T says there are 40 caches in and around C'ville.


Meghan

Soon, Tom and Meghan, you will know the joys of children's birthday parties.

WTF. People have lost it. The world has gone mad...and you still have to pay taxes!

Rob,

Don't punt the puppy. Just throttle it a bit. I hope PETA's not reading this, they'll burn down my house (killing my cats in the process, but that's what they do).

So, I've gone in the opposite bitter direction. I've had two young solicitors darken my doorstep in the past few weeks and I've bought something from one of them. While this isn't like me, I couldn't just run away or tell her to get lost. My spirit is broken.

Oh, but it is...and that does make me a bad person.

It's not funny.

As you all know, it's Passover season (If you didn't know, pretend that you did). In any event, I decided yesterday that everything I ate had some type of rising agent in and that is why I had no food in the house. So, I went to the store to buy some "Jew Food."

As I stared at the empty shelves, one of the employees asked, "Oh, are you buying food for your friends?" I was still facing the shelves at the time, but now I had the "Are you kidding me?" look on my face. I looked at him and said, "Why couldn't I be buying food for me?" "You're not Jewish!", he remarked. So, I asked, "Why aren't I Jewish?" and with a very confused look of "oh shit" and WTF, he asked, "You're Jewish" Dragging out the Jewish as though he had either foggoten how to say the word or was trying to remember to raise the inflection in his voice to make it a proper question. "I am sorry to inform you" I siad, "but I am Jewish." He stared for a second and forced out an "oh" and then slowly backed away before I infected him. Then I left the store, hungry, empty-handed and laughing my ass off.

I love this Black Jewish Vegetarian stuff!

Ah...Virginia...not far enough from Texas and too close to Florida.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/LAW/04/07/clearing.inmate.ap/index.html

Happy Birthday, Smitty! Live long and prosper!

Happy Birthday Smitty. Now you can get the walker you've always wanted.

Ha ha ha haha....I was just signing in to post that J.Lo's mom certainly didn't need to win the jackpot....Tom beat me to it.

SOCK!

I'm sorry...but I had to post this...

And in retaliation against myself, I must do this. (Come on...you know you want to "Click here for a larger view")

Jeez.

So we saw Sadler Court burn on Saturday night. I've seen fires before, but it's always a little weird to watch a building burn with about 1000 of your least closest friends.
Pretty crazy.

Just for the record, I knew she was lying. Call it a gut feeling.

A recent want ad!

Goodlooking College age guys wanted (18-28yrs old) to be male dancers at a birthday party in Charlottesville on Saturday April 17th. No experience necessary. $75 plus tips for 30minute performance. For more information please send an email to the address below. Interested candidates please indicate your age, height, weight, hair/eye color and also include a photograph attachment. Email: swahoo12@yahoo.com

Oops.

Yet to work over 40 hours a week? I've already worked 40 hours this week. Sigh. So...pics of the new house? Y'all gettin' AMP'd this weekend?

And while I realize this constitutes friendly fire, THIS is ridiculous. Notice the headline at the very bottom....these people aren't subtle.

I didn't think it was real, but here it is, April 2, and www.gmail.com is up and running.

Whud up peeps...I'm here to blog, according to the instructions of John Baxton. So, Michael and I closed on a townhouse on Wednesday...moving in this weekend! Sweeeeet! My job still pretty much rules, except for the occasional sucky hours, but I have yet to work over 40 hours in a week :) yeah woooooooooooooooo!

Meghan - EXCELLENT. We can win this, if we work together. Let a new battle begin.

Last, but not least, people who misspell their children's names on purpose are idiots.

My shot in the war.

OK. It think it's great that you can find THIS, right next to the Far Side.

I'm in.

I love dem bunnies. And now the news:

I am the gold star champion!

I'll be employed for the next 6 months just with the thing I just did. It's a celebration, bitches! I'll let you know when I get a raise (in Nov 2005, according to our wonderful state government).

I must stoop to a new low.