The Thinking Minority

I got this at work today.

Our great friendship

When you are sad -- I will
Help you get drunk and plot revenge
Against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

When you are blue -- I will
Try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile -- I will
Know you are plotting something
That I must be involved in.

When you are scared -- I will
Rag on you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried -- I will
Tell you horrible stories about
How much worse it could be,
Until you quit whining.

When you are confused -- I will
Use little words.

When you are sick -- I will
Tell you to stay the hell away from me
Until you are well again.
I don't want whatever you have.
When you fall -- I will
Point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath....
I pledge it to the end.

'Why?' you may ask.
'Because you're my friend!'

Friendship is like
Peeing your pants:
Everyone can see it,
But only you can
Feel the true warmth.