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Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Ciggarettes can cause cancer, which can kill you.

Alchohol can cause cirrhosis of the liver, which can kill you, but it makes for a wonderful pair of beer/alchohol/wine goggles and the rhythmically challenge deserving of dancer roles in the new Breakin' Movie.

Prostitution can cause an STD, GSW or Stab wound, which can kill you or hurt like hell for a very long time, but you get off.

Marijuana can cause cancer, which can kill you, but it is so much fun, who cares.

Riding a motorcycle can only kill you if you fatally crash your motorcycle into, say, a wall, car, another motorcycle, you become a victim of over-correction, or God decides to squish you with his finger. Otherwise, the chances of dying in a motorcycle accident parallels the chances of dying in a car accident. If the car in question was an SUV and you were on the motorcycle, your chances are dipped in your disfavor. Likewise, if the car in question was a Pinto, your chances are dipped in your disfavor, but with the added bonus of a great ball of fire.

Pornography has not killed anyone. Sure, it has caused some chaffing, a little carpal tunnel and an emabarassing couple of dinners with your girlfriend's parents, but death, however, no.

I say smoke, drink, snort, wack, ride, pop, shoot, inject, oggle, watch, eat and do whatever makes you feel good becuase none of these options are available in neither heaven or hell.

Always a twisted thought away,
The Urban Legend


  1. OH Bee Juan said...


    Cigarettes DON'T cause cancer. Smoking them does. I have no problem with tobacco products. It's just the smoke. Which smells fine to me when it's not cigarette smoke.

    8:51 AM  

  2. The Maharaja said...

    You are absolute correct. I stand corrected and am not ashamed to say it. However, I am ashamed to stand, so I sit corrected.

    9:23 AM  

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