The Thinking Minority

I apologize for the late entry, but this race was particularly damaging to many parts of my ego, manhood, and life in general.
This past Saturday was the Hog Wild Five-Mile Run.
Having spent the last couple of months running 5K's and the occasional 4-mile race, I spent the week before this race running a few more miles than normal and doing a hill workout instead of a speed workout.
The race was in Dothan, Alabama about an hour and a half from Crestview, Florida (you know where I live and you never visit).
I showed up to the race confident that I would complete the race in 37 minutes or better. Before I left for Dothan, I went to the Dothan Runners website to get a description of the race. I remember it saying something like, "a challenging course with rolling hills" to which I responded, "Nonsense! I live on a hill - I'm a climber dammit!"
Well, while we were standing at the starting line (I was doing the leg kicking thing that all runners do for some purpose - I do it becuase I think it looks cool), this man approaches me and says, "Have you ever run this race before?" "No." I replied. "In fact, this is my first race here and my first five-mile race ever." "Congratulations," he replied. He then inquired about my 5k time to which I proudly replied, "I can do a low 22, high 21." "Hmm, you will do this in 39 minutes." "No way pops," I arrogantly retorted."I am covering this thing in 37 minutes or less." He then took the time to warn me that the first three miles were easy and that the course was really a bitch, but I continued to reassure him that a 37 minute five-mile time was in my near future. And then the race began.....
As we sprinted out of the parking lot, I realized that the pace was rather slow, so I took it upon myself to run with the leaders and, I got to tell you, it felt great. I felt so proud of myself. Running with the leaders, pushing the pace, and, unknowingly, making myself a huge target. In this race, they called out the splits at each mile. Ladies and gentleman, I am proud to say that my splits were 7, 7, 7, 10, 8. If you know anythng about road races then you understand the possibility of the 10-minute mile. If not then you will understand that the entire fourth mile was up hill! Completely and totally up hill! There were times in the fourth mile that I wanted to cry tears of what I hoped were saline, but knew would be blood. At the end of the race, I was in blinding pain, literal blinding pain - I could not see. In my entire running life, that has only happened once before at the East-West Championships my senior year in high school. My coach told me I had to place tenth or better or we would lose. I placed tenth and we still lost to Wilson (AKA the bastards), but I digress.
After the race ended, I wandered around for what felt like hours, but was probably hours. I looked at the race results and out of 250 participants, I placed 4th in my age group and 51th overall. Realizing that I was still alive and able to change out of my sweaty clothes, I looked at my free sweatshirt only to discover that this was the five-mile championship for the Southern Region of the Road Runners Club of America - I am almost positive, nope, actually positive that I did not qualify for the national championships. Next year, I run a 37 come hell, high water, or blindness (again).
As for the man who predicted my time at the start of the race - he was dead on - I finished the race in 39:46. I spent the next day sore, drunk and fantastically happy. Until the next race... some 5k, somewhere, sometime.

This editorial has it wrong. Here's the assertion:

A middle-class family whose employer provides no health benefits would not get a subsidy, nor would family members be able to buy coverage through the state purchasing pool — even if their employer paid into it in lieu of providing health benefits. Such workers, who would be mandated to carry insurance, would pay about $12,000 a year for comprehensive family coverage. Individual policies would cost about $4,500.

That means that a typical family of four earning about $60,000 a year would spend about 20% of its income on premiums — not counting deductibles, co-pays and non-covered medical expenses. A catastrophic plan would cost less — perhaps $3,000 to $4,000 a year — but that family would still face a $5,000 deductible and an out-of-pocket limit of $10,000 a year. One hospitalization could easily hit that limit, again causing the family to spend about a fifth of its income on medical care.

But that second paragraph misses the point; if a middle-class family with no insurance at all has an incident requiring hospitalization, the out-of-pocket costs likely will exceed the $14,000 bill for medical coverage ($4,000 for catastrophic coverage plus $10,000 out-of-pocket maximum). So which is better: potentially unlimited losses in the event of a catastrophe, or defined, limited losses with known costs? One major problem with healthcare in this country: everyone carries risk, but too few people plan for it.

Wow,

It's late...my first post this year and it's late...3 AM. I really just wanted make a statement:

If you're using food stamps to buy sodas, maybe you shouldn't be using your cash to buy cigarettes.

In what can only be described as a herculean bout of regression, I ran the Pensacola Extravaganza Shinding (The real name is the Pensacola Beach Run, but I like my name better). So, at the Shindig, all runners started at the same time and mid-race you decided which distance you wanted to run (5K, 10K, half-marathon). I was runing with a bunch of people at what I perceived to be a decent pace until I saw the turn off for the 5K. Realizing that I was alone, it dawned on my that I was keeping pace with the wrong bunch of people and well, the rest you can figure out.
Out of 449 5K participants, I placed 48th and 7th in my age group with a time of 24:12 - it even hurts to type it. There is, however, good news, the BEER WAS ALL YOU CAN DRINK as long as you had a race number! I may not be a runner or even a decent jogger, but it is pretty hard to find something that beats ALL YOU CAN DRINK BEER.
I also discovered that I am over training, which is causing my body to get weaker. Without taking any supplements outside of a multivitamin. I have been running at least four miles a day, taking a 45-minute spinning class and lifting weights five days a week. With that in mind, I have accepted the challenge to drop the spinning and just run for two weeks. If my time improves, I will stick with that plan. If my time does not improve, I will buy some sort of supplement (which I liken to corking the bat).
My next race is the 7th Annual Chiropractic Run For Health on 20 January 2007. Fingers and public hairs crossed, here's to hoping for a better time.
In essence, crappy race, no medal, over training, next race in two weeks and FREE ALL YOU CAN DRINK BEER!

Well, at least now we know where the surge in troops is going to come from...

Happy New Year, everyone! It's 2007!!

It's gonna be a great year.

So, I know that I said my next race would be the Pensacola Extravaganza Shinding (not really the official name, but I can't recall it right now), but I got bored so I went to another race - The Flora-Bama Make It To The Line 4-mile Run. This race was sponsored by the Flora-Bama Lounge and Package Store.
The race started at the Florida-Alabama line, and went 2 miles into Alabama and back to Florida. At the end of the race, which I truly believe is the only reason I still run, you were rewarded with two bud light drafts. Now, I will never say that bud light is quality beer or anything, but I have drank lower beers and these were free. Even though you can't beat free with a buck, I am sure I can come up with quite a few things that can beat free. Like sex. Sex beats free, but I digress.
I am proud to say that I ran a fantastic 3.5 mile race. The officials, however, seem to think it was a four mile race and would not give me a coffee cup for the 3.5 miles that I wonderfully ran.
After dying at the 3.5 mile marker and practically jogging to the finish line, I came in at 30:33, which resulted in a 6th place finish in my age group and a 48th place finish overall out of 250 runners,joggers,exercise enthusiasts,athletes and, well, me.
Next week, the Pensacola Extravaganza Shindig, which is just a 5K. If I run 3.5 miles there like I ran 3.5 miles today, I may get some hardware. My solo medal from the Reindeer Run is getting lonely.
Until then........Harry Kwannukamas to you all!

And Goode is getting Virginia some much-needed national attention! Goody!

First, George Allen. Now, Virgil Goode. Virginia's politicians sure are doing a wonderful job of spreading ignorance and making us look bad.

Ugh.

Today, I ran the Egg Nog Job (or the Eggnog Jog, whichever you prefer). Contrary to the advice of a very smart girlfriend, several co-workers and several more other runners, I ran the race while fighting a terrible cold - smart move Berry. I ran a fantastically disgusting 23:46, exactly one minute slower than last week's performance. I placed 53/140 and 4th in my age group.

Next up is the Pensacola Beach 5K/10K/Half Marathon/Marathon/1-mile fun run. Due to age restrictions, I have been told that I do no qualify for the 1-mile fun run, so I will "compete" in the 5k. (hopefully in better conditions healthwise).

Before I leave, however, I would be remiss if I did not share with you all some of the other holiday themed events that did not make it on to the publicly published calendar.

1. The Frosty the Snowman F@#k
2. The Stuff My Stocking Blowout
3. The Mrs. Santa Slam
4. The Noel Nose Picking Extravagansa
5. The Mistletoe Midget Toss
6. The No Christmas Gifts for Jews Cruise
7. The Ebeneazer Skeezer Shoot
8. The Comfort and Joy Cum For Joy
9. The Snow Blow Job Grand Prix
and my personal favorite
10. The Jingle Bell Bang

Harry Kwanukkamas to all!

Today, I ran the North Okaloosa Medical Center/YMCA Reindeer Run. I placed 11th over all and 2nd in my age group (25-29) with a time of 22:46. In my defense, I came in 11th because I decided it was warmer if I just urinated in my shorts (it was below freezing when the race started). Next week, the Eggnog Jog.

Between the strippers, dancers and hookers (Yes, there is a "difference" as I have learned.) in Vegas, I am amazed that you all found time to eat and gamble. At least you didn't sleep. Today was a tough day at work - for me that says alot. I just had to share because I am sure it will not happen again for a very long time.

I think there might be a whole other blog or site or something about Vegas...we'll get it posted in the next few days. Even though I just slept for 10 hours, I don't have the energy to post it all yet. BUT, to cut to the most important part of the trip, this is one of the last somethings that happened:






















Good job, Phred. Good job.

No real time to blog...we're sitting in the Vegas airport, waiting to board the plane. But to sum up:

We're leaving with more cash than we came with.
John bought new shoes.
Some things happened.
Vegas rocks.

There will be more details later. After we finally sleep.

Have you heard about the new Creationism Museum?

"A lot of that money is going into the animatronic dinosaurs, which are pictured as coexisting with modern humans before the Fall. According to the article, up to 50 million Americans believe this."

So, I have about 5 minutes to blog about our first day in Vegas. There is too much - let me sum up:

Our flight was uneventful, except for the couple hooking up in the seats in front of us between Charlotte and Vegas. The Charlotte airport, by the way, is AWESOME. It's basically an entire mall in the airport, with lots of food and shopping options. I could live there.

We got into Vegas, and were greeted by our personal drivers holding up a sign that said "Baxtons." Awesome. We were staying at the South Point casino/hotel for the first night, so we got checked in (and the $20 trick worked to get us a nice view) and ate the most amazing $4 buffet ever. Seriously. I haven't eaten since then - that was nearly 20 hours ago - and I'm not all that hungry yet. We're about to go eat there again. That should do it for today.

We all played a little video slots, which didn't result in much. Then Phred and Oh Bee Juan played craps. For hours. And did very, very well. Oh Bee Juan started with $20, and walked away with $475. Then we all went to the strip, where the boys played craps for about 20 minutes, and made a good profit. We saw the light show at Freemont (Valerie and I saw two light shows, one while the boys were playing craps) and walked around.

Okay, I'm taking too long, and we have to go eat and watch football. Just like Sunday at home. Let me sum up this way: Vegas is awesome.

Holy crap.

OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD.

I just don't know what to believe in any more!

It's November 7th - don't forget to vote! If you live in Virginia, your options are:

James Webb or
A big fat bully

Vote early, vote often!

Your Deadly Sins

Lust: 80%

Gluttony: 20%

Envy: 0%

Greed: 0%

Pride: 0%

Sloth: 0%

Wrath: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%

You'll die while in the throws of passion - the best way to go.