The Thinking Minority

For those of you who have been anxiously awaiting another update on my adorable nephew, I can tell you that he is now putting together small sentences. Also, yesterday he built his first working single-engine aircraft.

A Public Service Announcement, for those of you who are local (or not)

Winter Classes for Men
Charlottesville Learning Center for Adults

Registration must be completed by Monday, September 25, 2006

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS,
CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor --- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

From nature.com

Owen Gingerich, an astronomer at Harvard University in Cambridge,
Massachusetts, and chair of the IAU committee that created the ['pluton'] definition, says that they were aware of its usage amongst geologists, but unaware of its importance to the field. "Since the term is not in the MS Word or the WordPerfect spell checkers, we thought it was not that common," Gingerich wrote in an e-mail to news@nature.com. The geologic definition of the word does appear in common dictionaries, including the Oxford English.

I wonder if he'd be cool with repurposing the word "albedo," or any of the other countless astronomical terms that Microsoft Word's spellchecker doesn't recognize.

Protect your kids now with the Armor of God. They'll go to Hell if you don't!

So we saw Snakes on a Plane. It's really good. You should see it. Unless you're my sister.

Happy 30th Birthday, John!

This is hilarious.

Let the word be spread throughout the land: Davis hath poop-ed in the potty.

And let there be much rejoicing!

Sorry, had to delete the science-quiz posts because they were messing up the blog and driving me crazy...

But, for your enjoyment - crazy bike. The video starts out slow, but quickly gets impressive.

I'm halfway done with my Masters as of today!

Mrs. B forgot to mention that her nephew (my son) turned 20 months old 4 days ago. It would be a lot less impressive if he just turned 4.

My nephew can count to ten. I think that's really freaking cool.

That's all.

I just argued and won my first Supression Hearing. Kids with lots of drugs got their case dismissed because the officer went on a fishing expedition. Did the kids learn a lesson? No. Will they be back? Yes. How do I know? Frequent Flyers of Judicial Airways. Today, I have judge trials for several defendants I have yet to meet. I will talk to them for 5-10 minutes before their bench trials and then we will walk into sure, if not highly probable, losses. By this time tomorrow, I will have lost the ability to say that I am batting at 1.000. Here's to batting at 1.000!

Having not blogged in a while, I posit a blog query (queery, queerie, querie, quiery, quierie, quieree, or question).

People who say, "Once you've hit rock bottom, there is only one way to go." either voluntarily or disturbingly forgot that you can also move laterally and thus the saying, "To wallow in sorrow." In having and knowing of the two sayings, is it at all logical, acceptable and/or predictable (stepping away from legal for a while) that a perveyor of the first saying should be punched in random parts of the body for sport?

The battles in my head will soon quarter me.

Dear Charlottesville and Albemarle,

For the love of God and all that is holy, please stop hitting my f#!&ing car. PLEASE. I'm growing quite tired of getting that familiar smack in my back that says, "Contact has been achieved! Get angry now!" I have no need to enter my car into the world of social networking and no desire for it to have playdates.

Is there a problem with my car? No? Perhaps our cars had a disagreement? Not that either? Did someone mischievously slide a giant post-it that says "HIT ME" on the car? I don't see one and I'm pretty sure you won't see one either. So, the next time my car stops for one those newfangled lights, traffic, or those pesky pedestrians that cross without care, STOP YOUR DAMNED CAR BEFORE hitting mine. Those red lights in the back mean that I've stopped. C'est tout.

Osama bin Laden wants the US to release al-Zarqawi's body so al-Zarqawi can be buried. I say, let's release the body -- but only if Osama comes to pick it up in person.

It's been almost a week back from Boston and I didn't blog at all while there. That's kinda sad because I had lots of things to say.

For starters, "Boston...where you can see it, but 'you can't get there from here.'"

Quote of the week: "If you want me to stick it somewhere else, you have to tell me where to put it." - "It" is a file...a well delivered file if you ask me.

Since I hate flying so much, having DirecTV on the flight was pretty nice. Well, there was one exception. In the mddle of watching some dumb show on MTV (which pretty much means any show), the commmercial for Superman played. A plane gets blown to bits in the commmercial. Not cool. Not cool.

No one in Boston expects people to get off of the elevator when it opens. That's got to be it. I mean, why else would you try to walk into the elevator as soon as it opened. Maybe you should think about why the elevator took so long to get down to you.

If you try to order canolli at this one place, you'll get asked if you want it "for here or to go." "For here" means that you shouldn't have bothered waiting to order. You can't place the order at the counter. No, even if Rob ordered to go and is now sitting at a table, you can't do it. #$#&!@!!

In some places, there are no traffic lanes. While this could work out well for someone like me, most people from the Ville would just come to a complete stop and have a meltdown. I mean, they're always at a complete stop anyway...

There were approximately 10 ways to get to the convention center from our hotel (by major roads). The bus company failed to pass the "good route" map along to the drivers (in all fairness, these people had come in from NH and CT because the Boston drivers were on strike).

There are lots of strikes in Boston...and lots of people. It's crowded. Don't move there if you value personal space, separate dwellings, or smoky bars...wait, I liked that part.

I sang a lot. A whole lot. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday (not that anyone wanted to hear me over Train, but I couldn't help it...I was drunk) and Friday. On Friday, I got to sing with a few of the guys from Firedrill. They even let me solo a couple of songs. Pretty tight group. Every once in a while, I miss those a cappella days. Hmm, I guess that's actually the second time I sang a cappella this month.

Of course, I learned a great deal about the new version of SharePoint. Why would anyone want to learn about SharePoint? It pays the mortgage and allows you to go to cool places...where your friends live...for free. Your friends don't live there for free, but you get to go...for free. You understood the first time.

Oh and thanks again to Rob. Good times indeed.

Well, I'm only writing because it's very late and I wasn't in a sleeping mood. Now I'm in a sleeping mood...

Yeah...so...

I'm wondering if it's time to go home for the day. I mean, I can't really breathe through my nose, my computer is turning into a brick (I've had to make real efforts to post this), and one of the batteries in my wireless mouse exploded. Any thoughts?

Starting today, I propose that for every blog you read, you must leave a comment. Just so we can see that we are reading the blogs AND the comments will surely lead to dialogue. Then agan, no one but the three of reads the blog anyway, so I guess I could just im you all. eh.

Bored?

Find crazy people amusing?

Click here - it's the best website I've found about dining experiences in Charlottesville. Then click on the bright red link at the top - the conversation. It's...amusing.

Disclaimer: Fred is a friend, and is not insane.