I'd like just like to point out that although some people think the following activities are OK to do in public, they are unacceptable at all times. I have witnessed all of these TODAY:
*finger nail clipping
*picking at your feet
*picking your nose and tossing your "prize booty" into a shared area
*general grunting/snorting associated with audible phlegm
Thank you.
*finger nail clipping
*picking at your feet
*picking your nose and tossing your "prize booty" into a shared area
*general grunting/snorting associated with audible phlegm
Thank you.
If you have some time, this is just an amazing article. It's funny, it's entertaining, it's a little upsetting - really interesting. Anyway, I liked it a lot, so I figured I'd share.
Look, people, this wouldn't be a problem if you raised your own children, instead of letting Nickelodeon do it...
(And I'm not saying that you shouldn't let your kids watch TV, I'm just saying that you should have more influence than TV over what your kids eat.)
(And I'm not saying that you shouldn't let your kids watch TV, I'm just saying that you should have more influence than TV over what your kids eat.)
Link.
Ladies and gentlemen! I present to you...Lincoln University Alumni.
I know this asshole. He was a jerk in school as well. Now, he's a jerk in the papers and a liar to boot! Dumbass! I am not sure why, but this does give me a little joy inside.
(Edited by Mrs. B to fix the page format)
Ladies and gentlemen! I present to you...Lincoln University Alumni.
I know this asshole. He was a jerk in school as well. Now, he's a jerk in the papers and a liar to boot! Dumbass! I am not sure why, but this does give me a little joy inside.
(Edited by Mrs. B to fix the page format)
Uh, so. Yeah. I feel guilty for not telling everyone this in person. I mean, really, this is the kind of news that you should deliver face-to-face. But I'm afraid I'm not going to have the opportunity to do that, so blogging will have to suffice. So here it goes: The truth is, we're never going to see any of you ever again. I'm sorry. We're not coming home.
Yep. Sorry. But you can come visit us here in Puerto Rico any time!
Yep. Sorry. But you can come visit us here in Puerto Rico any time!
Don't curse in front of the baby, and don't let him drink, either. Key quote: "The toddler also was taken to the hospital, where tests revealed he had a blood alcohol content of 0.094, the sheriff's office said. The legal limit for driving in New York state is .08."
I hope you're planning on pressing charges against that guy! I would! Hell, I wrote the Better Business Bureau over our electric company and won. BOOYAH!
The true meaning of Christmas according to Mad TV:
The Jews only had enough oil for one night so Jesus came to rescue with enough loaves of bread and fish to last for eight nights. Then Jesus' wife, Mrs. Clause, hid all of those easter eggs.
It's funny because its blasphemous.
The Jews only had enough oil for one night so Jesus came to rescue with enough loaves of bread and fish to last for eight nights. Then Jesus' wife, Mrs. Clause, hid all of those easter eggs.
It's funny because its blasphemous.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Today, JB is graduating from law school. Yes, he is one step closer to representing this great nation's justice system, preserving law and order, fighting for truth, justice, and the American way.
And, hopefully, getting paid enough to come home more than once a year.
Congratulations, Jelani. We'll have an extra drink (or two) in your honor today.
Today, JB is graduating from law school. Yes, he is one step closer to representing this great nation's justice system, preserving law and order, fighting for truth, justice, and the American way.
And, hopefully, getting paid enough to come home more than once a year.
Congratulations, Jelani. We'll have an extra drink (or two) in your honor today.
...and now I take my first libation of twenty year old Jim Beam - the genesis of a long, remarkably forgotten day.
UPDATE UPDATE: Looks like the guy DOES have insurance. It's not the company that he originally told the officer he was insured by, though. I'm skeptical. It's another "nonstandard" company for high-risk drivers...d'oh. He called the officer and asked her to give me the agent's name and the claim number, and asked her to relay the message that they're going to take care of it, and really, he didn't see me, and he left because he didn't know where I was. Or something. The officer just relayed the message, she said, because she told him that she would.
How do you rearend someone and not see them? And how do they follow you, beeping the horn, and you not see them? Why would he even say that - or relay that message to me? Was he just saying it to her, really, under the guise of relaying the message to me, to try to convince her not to bring charges?
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
How do you rearend someone and not see them? And how do they follow you, beeping the horn, and you not see them? Why would he even say that - or relay that message to me? Was he just saying it to her, really, under the guise of relaying the message to me, to try to convince her not to bring charges?
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
UPDATE: Thanks to the internet and the wonders of public records, here's the jerk's traffic record:
Court Date Charge Type Result
04/28/00 SPEEDING 74/55 Infraction Prepaid
04/28/00 DRIVE SUSPENDED Misdemeanor Guilty
04/28/00 FAIL TO APPEAR/SUSP Capias Guilty
04/06/01 Civil Plaintiff: COMMONWEALTH OF VIRG Civil Other Judgment
01/04/01 SUSPENDED OL Misdemeanor Guilty
01/04/01 SPEEDING 41/25 Infraction Dismissed
06/26/01 DRIV UNDER REVO/SUSP Misdemeanor Appealed
06/26/01 SPEEDING 41/25 Infraction Nolle Prosequi
03/12/03 PUBLIC SWEARING/INTOXICATION Misdemeanor Dismissed
01/27/03 SPEEDING 59/45 Infraction Guilty
01/27/03 SEAT BELT VIOLATION Infraction Guilty
Yet to Come:
01/06/06 EXPIRED REGISTRATION Pending
01/06/06 EXPIRED INSPECTION Pending
2006: Hit and Run!
Court Date Charge Type Result
04/28/00 SPEEDING 74/55 Infraction Prepaid
04/28/00 DRIVE SUSPENDED Misdemeanor Guilty
04/28/00 FAIL TO APPEAR/SUSP Capias Guilty
04/06/01 Civil Plaintiff: COMMONWEALTH OF VIRG Civil Other Judgment
01/04/01 SUSPENDED OL Misdemeanor Guilty
01/04/01 SPEEDING 41/25 Infraction Dismissed
06/26/01 DRIV UNDER REVO/SUSP Misdemeanor Appealed
06/26/01 SPEEDING 41/25 Infraction Nolle Prosequi
03/12/03 PUBLIC SWEARING/INTOXICATION Misdemeanor Dismissed
01/27/03 SPEEDING 59/45 Infraction Guilty
01/27/03 SEAT BELT VIOLATION Infraction Guilty
Yet to Come:
01/06/06 EXPIRED REGISTRATION Pending
01/06/06 EXPIRED INSPECTION Pending
2006: Hit and Run!
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