The Thinking Minority

1. Why is John wearing a Maxi Pad?

2. Completely unrelated to number one, I have read many constitutional arguments in my three years in law school and, I must say, I have come across a truly lovely statement on constitutional law.

It has long since become an established rule of constitutional law in these United States that power and discretion, however exerted, and by whomsoever exercised, must be used in such a manner not to infringe upon or impair the fundamental rights of life, liberty, property, and the pursuit of happiness. The very idea that one man may be compelled to hold his life, business, property, means of living, or any material thing essential to his enjoyment of life, at the mere will of another, is intolerable to any country where freedom prevails, and is the very essence of slavery itself.

Yick Wo v. Hopkins 118 U.S. 356

3. It is only sad because I see myself leaving myself in that these are the things that excite me.

I'm really hating blogger this week. I tried for 20 minutes to use their little thingy to post pictures, but it didn't work. Parental Guidance Advised.

The naked tuth:

Last night sucked.

It's interesting that JB called it [below] a maxipad because it is now...well...bloody. I spent half of last night awake salivating and since I couldn't swallow while sleeping, I was either drooling or spitting. To top it all off, the doctor's office gave us a call at 8:15 to see how I was doing. While I appreciate this call, Margaret didn't. Apparently they missed the memo.

At about 2:15 I found myself in front of Alderman Library. As usual, it was "unexpectedly" crowded. A good time was had by all. This event was followed by beers at Baja Bean.

I can't drink.

...and I'm beginning to swell.

This morning I prayed. Yes, prayed. A strange man and two strange women were pricking me with a needle, struggling to find the right place to prick.

Luckily, I woke up.

Here I am now, praying that my wife's agonizing experience with her wisdom teeth removal recovery will somehow allow me to be excused from things like separation from solid food, hellish oral agony, and of course, dry sockets. The first wish has already escaped me.

I'll be back tomorrow with an update on my status.

Crap, I just realized that there's an apple pie in my fridge and ice cream in my freezer. Depression has set in.

JB, your post was so full of grammatical mistakes and misspellings that I thought maybe you were just trying to entice me to post, just to correct you. Then I thought maybe you were drinking while typing. Then I thought maybe I was just a jerk for even noticing and wanting to correct you. Then I thought that since you know about my little disability, my first thought was probably correct, and you were just provoking me. But then I thought that since I know you pretty well, my second thought was probably correct. Then I got confused.

JB will be here soon!

My brain hurts.

Ladies, Gentlemen, Bloggers!

We have cycled around to that time again. That time when I must, as your faithful, hardworking Maharaja, present The State of The Blog Address.

As the competition for Trivia Champion approaches it's boiling point, the interest in blogging approaches its freezing point. We as bloggers must fight our ADD tendencies. The grass is not greener. The pie is not sweeter. And that shiny things is really just the reflection of the sun on broken glass. Hear me, dare I say, and listen. Our precious blog is dying and only you can save it.

Trivia is a wonderful thing, but it is the blog that has gotten us here. Here to this trivial pursuit of academic prestige. I challenge each of you. To a dual, you say? No. To a pie eating contest, you say? No. To a race perhaps. No. I challenge each of your to blog. Throughout history, wars have been successful in stimulating economies and challenges have been successful in stimulating blogs (tradition has to start somewhere).

As I close, I leave you with one thing. BLOG!!!!

God bless you, these united States, and the omnipotent blog.

"..........................from sea to shining sea..................."

This blog is becomingstagnant.

Duck Cheney has been moved to a secure, disclosed, off-site location.
Key quote: The duck acquired several nicknames from Treasury workers and other people passing by the building. Names included "Quacks Reform," "T-Bill" and "Duck Cheney."
I still prefer "Mr. Waddlesworth."

You are Tater Tots. Go get your own!!

Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are LaFawnduh. Why are you so sweaty?


Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Which Napolean Dynamite Character Are You?

Quiz

Okay, I never really cared for Deloitte & Touche LLP, but
this headline goes a bit over the top.

CATS

I am unemployed and it is pesach (passover). So, what do I do with my time? I drink and study for finals -haha hah hoho haha. There are only certain things that I can drink - with the leavening thing and all - so I chose tequila (ta kill ya). I went to a quint place in Jax to a Mexican restaurant that made its margaritas from fresh orange and lime juice and of course tequila.

I tell you this not to tell you that I am a Jewish alcoholic, but that I am an alcoholic celebrating a Jewish Holy day. In other words, DRINK! It feels great!

I love tequila because it is made from plants and not leavening.

See what happens when you spoil your children?

Pretty typical.

Today I actually knew some of the trivia questions - and was able to guess on others - and what happened? When I pressed "Submit my quiz," my computer crashed. When I realized ie wasn't coming back, I had to ctrl-alt-del and kill everything (I even had to kill Word), then restart ie, go back to the quiz, re-enter all of my answers, and submit it.

Sigh. I will never be the smartest player.

Ok, one last "WTF?" from the triva - aside from the overwhelming amount of geography and ancient history in my quiz today (both of which I suck at), one of my questions today was:

Question 2
Hobbies : The Bachelor's Culinary Delights (Cooking and Baking)

What is the bachelor's greatest secret for cooking success?

Buy expensive cooking equipment
Get a girlfriend
Go to cooking school
Buy cookbooks

Is it just me, or is this question not based in any actual fact? The funniest answer is "get a girlfriend" but the truth could be to buy cookbooks or go to cooking school. WTF?

Yeah! And howcome I only got four right?!

Oh, and
3. Why is it that Tyson and I got the same number of questions right, in the same amount of time, but he gets 8 points and I get 7? WTF?

1. thais0n + 8 pts 7 right 81 seconds 619 score
2. snickersbaxton + 7 pts 7 right 81 seconds 619 score

AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

The trivia game is making me crazy, for two reasons:

1. What's with all the showtune questions? AAAAARRRRRGGGGGG.
and 2. What's with all the new pop-ups and ads now? I can't block them at work! AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGG!

Ok, that is all.

t r u t h o u t - William Rivers Pitt | The Theocrats: " Imagine this scenario: A bill is introduced in the House to require children to say the Lord's Prayer each morning in every American public school. Arguments in favor of American pluralism and freedom of (and from) religion fall on deaf ears. Thanks to the massive GOP majority in the House, the bill is passed and reaches the Senate, where outraged Democrats are powerless to stop it without the filibuster. It passes there, and is placed on the desk of Mr. Bush, who happily signs away yet another barrier separating the church and the state."

Well, it's true. I had three job offers this week, and I'm going to accept the one for the least amount of money. Crazy, eh? I'll never be able to support John, or his habits.

On a different note, there's this article on cnn.com about pharmacists refusing to fill birth control prescriptions. Check this out:
----
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Reports of pharmacists with particular religious and moral beliefs denying prescriptions for birth control have prompted legislation that would ensure all prescriptions are filled.

House and Senate backers unveiled a bill dubbed the Access to Legal Pharmaceuticals Act (ALPhA) on Thursday.

It would allow a pharmacist to refuse to fill a prescription only if the prescription can be passed to and filled by a co-worker at the same pharmacy.

According to NARAL Pro-Choice America, a reproductive rights group, legislators in 10 states are considering bills that would permit pharmacists to refuse to fill birth control prescriptions. A federal law, if passed, would pre-empt any state law.

Yet some want additional legislation to protect pharmacists who believe certain birth control drugs are forms of abortion, Karen Brauer, president of Pharmacists for Life, told the Reuters news agency. The group provides legal advice and support to pharmacists.

Brauer told Reuters she believes doctors will eventually begin ordering women to abort disabled children, or refuse to treat them after birth.

"They'll force women to kill their children ... It will be like China. It's the next logical step," she told Reuters.
----

It's the next logical step? Forcing pharmacists to fill legal prescriptions...then...forcing women to kill their children?

They lost me somwhere in there.

Alas,

I am no longer a teacher! Teaching children with learning disabilities was a greater task than I could have imagined. Therefore, I am unemployed, but on the payroll until the next school year starts. In other words, I have a lot of free time and will be traveling extensively after my exams end (second week in May).

Alas,

My wife is well on her way to supporting me. She has had not one, but three job offers this week. Yes, I am a bit jealous. I've only had one job offer in the last three years. Ah, the freedom to choose.

Internets do good job. Sadly, "all your base are belong to us" does not pass through the grammar checker properly, but "All your Gates is belong to us" works just fine.

I've eaten at King's Buffet once. But if I had known the workers were violating Loudoun County zoning ordinances, I might have (briefly) considered going somewhere else.

Hm...seems like everyone has been ducking Daddy Z's challenge.

Two things:
1. 14 people played trivia today.
2. who the hell played under my name?

I went to play today and to my surprise I had already played. In fact, I had to log in which I haven't had to do since I joined the site. So I ask again, Who played under my name?

I swear, I'm not making this up. I propose a contest to see who can come up with the best name for the duck.

Thanks for the birthday wishes guys! I got a bath robe, slippers, and pajamas for my birthday! I am OLD!

Colossal error in judgment: that's what you call filing a story on Friday to appear Sunday about events on Saturday.

Smitty is older! Yay! Birthdays are happy.

Happy Birthday Smitty.

I know my splits don't make any sense. That is why I was so shocked. My knees were a little stiff in the beginning, but I was not expecting such a drop in time. Had I run the whole race like I ran the last mile, I would have been in the top ten.

Your 5K splits make no sense unless you were running like that on purpose.

Today, for the first time since, well, let's say it's been a while, I decided to run a 5k. A local celebration of Blues Music 5k. Here are my times:

Mile 1. 11:27
Mile 2. 9:13
Mile 3. 6:02
Total . 27:42.49

I argued the impossibility of those times with the timer and the computer, but the man (of at least 50) said, "You know, you never lose the mental ability, but you DO lose the knees and the lung capacity." Then he chuckled and said, "At least by the third mile, you remembered that it was a race." Realizing that I am falling apart at the knees, I turned hobbled to my car and drove the bar. I never knew cold beer could taste so good!

I miss my youthful knees. I love that I am old enough to drink.

Trick question!!!!!

Q. In what country did the civil war take place?
MY Answer: The United States
Correct Answer: Not Enough Information.

Sounds suspiciously like a trick I pull on my students.

The blog has a spell checker! Has anyone red the poem, "Eye Halve A Spell Checker?"

This turned out not to be nearly as dramatic as the main headline implied. Bit of an overdramatization, I think.

Welcome back, Jelani! Now, stop playing trivia!

Correction: I am Poopsie Toilet Brains

First: I am Poopie Toiletbrains.
Second: I am back from San Diego and Springbreak.
Third: Jetlag sucks!
Fourth: I have spent way too many classes discussing Terri Schiavo. I am sorry for both sides because, for all we know, Terri probably doesn't like this much attention. Further, I witnessed an 18-year old catholic girl argue Terri's case and how Terri could have "one brain wave" with a man who will receive his Ph.D in Biophysics in three weeks. Therefore, I have no opinion - sorry Margaret. However, in saying I have no opinion, I will state what I know. Florida law makes Terri's life's decisions the responsibility of her husband and vice versa. That is why the parents have lost every court battle that they have mounted - yet they continue to try.

Fifth and final: I have not played trivia in a while. I should get on that.

I still love cookies.

An important, urgent correction from Gene's chat:

Gene Weingarten:
I received an important correspondence from Patrick Murray, creating an urgent need to correct a serious error from last week’s chat. I do not know how this happened, and will look into the matter immediately, but apparently a chatter submitted a bogus new-name generator for the Captain Poopiepants story! Here is the real generator, culled directly from the book by Patrick’s wife, Stinky.

First chart: Use the first letter of your first name to determine your NEW
first name.

A - Stinky
B - Lumpy
C - Buttercup
D - Gidget
E - Crusty
F - Greasy
G - Fluffy
H - Cheeseball
I - Chim-Chim
J - Poopsie
K - Flunky
L - Booger
M - Pinky
N - Zippy
O - Goober
P - Doofus
Q - Slimy
R - Loopy
S - Snotty
T - Falafel
U - Dorky
V - Squeezit
W - Oprah
X - Skipper
Y - Dinky
Z - Zsa-Zsa

Second chart: Use the first letter of your last name to determine the
first half of your NEW last name.

A - Diaper
B - Toilet
C - Giggle
D - Bubble
E - Girdle
F - Barf
G - Lizard
H - Waffle
I - Cootie
J - Monkey
K - Potty
L - Liver
M - Banana
N - Rhino
O - Burger
P - Hamster
Q - Toad
R - Gizzard
S - Pizza
T - Gerbil
U - Chicken
V - Pickle
W - Chuckle
X - Tofu
Y - Gorilla
Z - Stinker

Third chart: Use the last letter of your last name to determine the second
half of your NEW last name.

A - Head
B - Mouth
C - Face
D - Nose
E - Tush
F - Breath
G - Pants
H - Shorts
I - Lips
J - Honker
K - Butt
L - Brain
M - Tushie
N - Chunks
O - Hiney
P - Biscuits
Q - Toes
R - Buns
S - Fanny
T - Sniffer
U - Sprinkles
V - Kisser
W - Squirt
X - Humperdinck
Y - Brains
Z - Juice

Sadly, as Patrick points out, the world must revolve around reality, not unsolicited email. I am no longer "Zippy Girdlechunks," but "Fluffy Chucklechunks." And the president of the United States is no longer “Goober Chickenshorts” but merely “Fluffy Toiletshorts.”

The Washington Post regrets the error.

The original "food porn" article.

"NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - Burger King is reportedly set to unveil a new breakfast sandwich that's a huge bet that not everyone is looking to watch their diet.
USA Today reported that the No. 2 fast food chain is set to debut its Enormous Omelet Sandwich Monday.
The sandwich will have one sausage patty, two eggs, two American cheese slices and three strips of bacon, according to the newspaper.
That works out to 730 calories and 47 grams of fat, according to the report -- more than a Whopper burger, which the Burger King Web site said has 700 calories and 42 grams of fat.
While the new breakfast sandwich goes against the trend at some competitors to offer healthier fare, some analysts were quoted as saying the new sandwich is likely to be a sales success.
'The critics will still label it food porn,' Sherri Daye Scott, editor at fast-food magazine QSR, told the paper. 'But the average male fast-food customer does not have a problem with this.'
The new offering could also make Burger King more of a player in the breakfast market, where USA Today reports it is quite a ways behind McDonald's (Research).
Burger King has been privately held since it was sold by British food conglomerate Diageo to a group led by Texas Pacific Group in 2002. "

"...food porn?"

Unfortunately, the "suspect" "allegedly" shot himself before they were able to catch or convict him.

So, at a record of 62 and 3, I gave up on Freecell and cleared the statistics.

Now I'm at 9 and 0.

SOMEONE MAKE ME STOP PLAYING.

*Mrs. B giggles*

It's juvenile, I know...but it's funny.

Mrs. B said, "How much proof do we have to have before we remove the word 'suspected' or 'alleged' from a story? Do we have to have a criminal conviction?"

That word "alleged" (and it's annoying cousin, "suspected") is often what stands between a news organization and a successful suit for libel. It's also good ethical practice to remind readers that claims made about a person are only claims, not fact. Hence world-class news organizations are religious about that reminder, and always use "alleged" until courts have ruled, investigations are closed, and the truth -- or as close to it as we will get -- is known.

It annoys me, though, that news outlets have become sloppy. "Alleged" is short (too short) for a much longer statement about the uncertainty of what we think we know. Much of what journalists know is based on hearsay, rumor, speculation, innuendo, and other non-factual sources. What someone saw or said is often less credible than what a piece of evidence, properly interpreted, will show. Presumption of innocence stands at the heart of the American criminal justice system, and even that system too frequently makes mistakes.

It's worth noting that "alleged" and "suspected" leave out a critical piece of information. Who alleges? Who suspects? In this case, multiple law enforcement officials, a slew of witnesses, and the boy's own family all "suspect" that the boy killed all those people. That's a much different situation than, for example, an alleyway mugging in which the victim alleges that a person is the assailant, even though the criminal left no known evidence and wore a ski mask at the time. News organizations leave out this information because they either failed to take time to capture it in the first place or because they failed to write it into the story. Either way, it's a failure.

The game actually reset at

Today's game ends in 23 hours, 55 minutes.

And so....

The Smartest Player today is currently snickersbaxton. Woohoo!

One last thing, then I'm going to bed. My first question was:

Question 1
Why can't you safely drink out of the ocean?
-Ships have went across the water
-It's salty
-The fish need it
-It's against the law

The fish need it? No, wait - have went? HAVE WENT? WHAT THE -?

Ok, last one, I promise. The trivia game now says:

Today's game ends in 23 hours, 57 minutes.

But the high scores are still up and it won't let me play. It's weird. All I want to do is play, have it tell me I'm the smartest, and then go to bed.

PLEASE LET ME GO TO BED. I'M TIRED.

Two more quick things:

Right now, the trivia game says:

Today's game ends in 23 hours, 60 minutes.

Also, my Freecell record is 59 and 1. I am on a streak of 50 wins. I was a fool not to reset the record when I was 9 and 1.

That is all. Someone else post now. NOW.

One more thing - on a point I think I've made before - if you've been reading the news, you've also read about the latest school shooting. Kid kills his grandfather, his grandfather's "lady friend," a security guard, a teacher, and a bunch of classmates. Dozens of witnesses, school security camera tapes, forensic evidence, etc. And yet, on cnn.com, there's this chart:

RED LAKE FATALITIES
Derrick Brun, 28
Dwayne Lewis, 15
Chase Lussier, 15
Daryl Lussier, 58
Neva Rogers, 62
Chanelle Rosebear, 15
Michelle Sigana, 32
Alicia Spike, 14
Thurlene Stillday, 15

Suspected gunman:
Jeff Weise, 16

Suspected gunman? SUSPECTED gunman? Does this mean we suspect he had a gun, or we suspect he was a man? We KNOW he had a gun. How much proof do we have to have before we remove the word "suspected" or "alleged" from a story? Do we have to have a criminal conviction? Because, if so, this kid is going to be a suspected gunman for the rest of time. (I almost typed "for the rest of his life.") He's not going to be tried, or found guilty. But he did it. I suspect.

Ok, so I haven't posted anything yet about the Schiavo case, probably because it makes me so mad. But now it seems that it's just about over, so I think I can talk about it without screaming. If you read Gene's chat, you saw his feelings about the case - and I entirely agree with him.

There are three things at issue here:

1. Each of us has the right to refuse medical care. In the case of someone who is incapacitated, this decision can be made by a guardian. In almost all cases, the guardian is the spouse, if there is one. This is because you choose your spouse (you don't choose your parents, or children), so he or she is most likely to know your wishes and know what you would want. If you don't trust your spouse to make these decisions for you, leave a living will. Better yet, divorce your spouse.

B) This case has already been properly dealt with in the state courts. This is a state issue, not a federal one, and Congress certainly has no right to start interfering with something that has always been legislated and litigated in the states. Neither does the Florida legislature have the right to try to choke the courts using new and unconstitutional laws. No matter what Jeb and George want.

iii) For the love of God, let her die. As was said in Gene's chat - let's suppose she's not entirely vegetative. Let's assume all the doctors were wrong, and she has some consciousness. How do we know she's not screaming, in her head, "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET ME DIE, PLEASE, KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME..."?

4. There is no 4.

I'm interested in JB's opinion, since he is studying law, lives in Florida, and is black.

Hmmm. Fluffy Applebrain. Seems right to me these days.

In my own world, where I use the first letter of my first name, the first letter of my last name, and the fourth letter of my last name in a fashion similar to what's in the post below, my name is Stinky Toiletsniffer.

Perfect.

Our president ...

From Gene Weingarten's chat today:
"Honestly, there is genius in this. Our president is "Goober Chickenshorts." " --

The following is an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants" by Dave Pilkey.

The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...

Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

a = poopsie
b = lumpy
c = buttercup
d = gadget
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = fluffy
h = cheeseball
i = chim-chim
j = stinky
k = flunky
l = boobie
m = pinky
n = zippy
o = goober
p = doofus
q = slimy
r = loopy
s = snotty
t = tootie
u = dorkey
v = squeezit
w = oprah
x = skipper
y = dinky
z = zsa-zsa

Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = apple
b = toilet
c = giggle
d = burger
e = girdle
f = barf
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = cootie
j = monkey
k = potty
l = liver
m = banana
n = rhino
o = bubble
p = hamster
q = toad
r = gizzard
s = pizza
t = gerbil
u = chicken
v = pickle
w = chuckle
x = tofu
y = gorilla
z = stinker

Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = head
b = mouth
c = face
d = nose
e = tush
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = butt
l = brain
m = tushie
n = chunks
o = hiney
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = buns
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = kisser
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = brains
z = juice

Oh, if you have to log in for the Miss Manners thing - use a@be.com for the username and 1234 for the password.

So a few weeks ago, I put up the link to Miss Manners - not because I expect everyone else to read Miss Manners as faithfully as I do, but because she's often funny, and always relevant. Click on the link to Miss Manners, click on Food Fight!, and scroll down. Read the letter. Then consider this: for weeks it has been driving me crazy, even causing me some physical pain, that my Regional Operations Director uses the word "effect" in emails when she means "affect," and vice versa. I have longed to figure out a way to mention it - though I know I'm the only person crippled by this particular pet peeve - but now I know, conclusively, that I can't.

But I'll be honest - there have been emails from her that I didn't finish reading, because I got to a particularly horrific error in the second sentence and couldn't go on. Call me melodramatic, but I know I'm not the only one. At the very least, my sister gets it.

Well, it's only 5:00, so this could change - but for the second time,

The Smartest Player today is currently snickersbaxton.

Not by virtue of playing first, as is most often the case, but because I got more correct than several other people.

Sorry, had to gloat, it doesn't happen often.

Oh, and John - that sucks.

Everybody,

My boss just tendered her resignation.

Funny dialogue from my favorite sitcom:
Background: Angela walks into the room and everyone clears out leaving a cloud of smoke.

Angela: How come everytime I leave the room, you all do this?
Kelso: Well, it's Thanksgiving. Some people bake pies. We bake ourselves.

However unfunny it is now, it was really funny then.

OH! I wrote penisland.com on my board in an effort to tell my kids about it when the principal walked into the classroom. Knowing that is was Pen Island, I learned alot about my principal she stated, "We all have needs, and I know your girlfriend is out of town, but those type of sites are not allowed in a classroom and you should know better." To which I replied, I will convey your message to the residents of Pen Island." "Pen I-oh. Thank you, Mr. Berry. You may return to your class now." My wonderful students, who were listening at the door, could no longer contain themselves, and for the next fifteen minutes, neither could I.

The Smartest Player today is currently snickersbaxton.

And this time, I earned it, instead of just being the first person to play.

This is GREAT. Seriously. Go. Click play. You must.

Dear Miss Manners:

At an apartment-warming I attended, a couple arrived about 30 minutes into the party. Within seconds, the family dog began making love to the female guest's leg. Her date grabbed her because she was struggling to stand.

The hostess said, "Down! Down!" The host said, "No, 'Big Boy!' No!" and tried to pull Big Boy off, without success. A nearby guest then leaned forward and gave the dog's tail a single tug. The dog let out a yelp, dropped to his feet and began inspecting his rear.

The yelp brought the party to a halt. In the silence that followed, the hostess said, "Did you jerk my dog's tail?" The tail-tugger turned red and looked ashamed, but said nothing. The moment passed and the party resumed.

Big Boy walked away. The tail-tugger did, too, in the opposite direction. The female guest later became pregnant, but not because of Big Boy. I don't think anyone handled this well. What do you think?

That you had far too good a time at this party.

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone....

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banaaaaanaaaaaa phoooooooooooone....

I can call my cat!

Anyway, how is everyone? Is everyone out there?

The Smartest Player today is currently snickersbaxton.

ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Taste it JB!

So I managed to get 1 answer correct! I have indonesian on my quiz! Indo - Freakin" - nesian!

I just thought I'd say that its 68 degrees outside and beautiful and ... IT's SUPPOSED TO SNOW TOMORROW!!!!!! I hate this teasing, I want to be able to go outside and know that tomorrow it won't be snowing. Now that I've got that off my chest...I'm going back outside.

I have also discovered in recent days that my knowledge of useless Broadway trivia has been getting me a few freebees in the quiz. Does anyone else know Miss. Siagon's "winning number"?

I attempted to take a quiz while my students were completing their class work. This was a bad idea. It took me 155 seconds, but only because I finally told them to leave me alone for at least 1 minute of their lives. Now, they are all pissy. I love it when I neglect my job.

Um, I'm confused. One of my trivia questions today was:


Which Indian cities were the first trading posts for this company?
-Delhi and Bombay
-Calcutta and Delhi
-Madras and Calcutta
-Madras and Bangalore

Uh - WHAT company? Needless to say, I got that one wrong...But I got this one right:


Which is NOT a Constitutional reason for impeaching a President?
-Treason
-High Crimes and Misdemeanors
-Bribery
-Getting body piercings

Fortunately, the rest of my questions were somewhere in between these two.

7. On Mobil signs, one of the letters is a different color from the others. Which one is it?


WTF

In two days, I have managed to answer a whopping five questions. Proving once again that teaching does not make you smarter, neither does schooling, excessive beer drinking, or chocolate. These things, however, do pay the bills, increase the bills, feel and taste good, respectively, respectively (yes, this sentence warrants a double "respectively" even if incorrectly applied).

The Smartest Player today is currently snickersbaxton.

Of course, by the time anyone reads this, it won't be true.

And DAMN the meteorologists for getting my hopes up. Again.

It's a shame this didn't work.

You know...I steal things from Dave Barry's blog, because I can't count on the fact that you all read it yourselves. Just like I can't count on all of you reading Gene's weekly columns, or his chats, despite the fact that they are FUNNY and are often the HIGHLIGHT of my week. Or, at least, my day. My workday. Everyone knows John is the highlight of my week, every week. Awww.

On the other hand, I can just repost things here, and take credit for them, because you all don't do your research.

And on the other hand, you have different fingers.

Dear Jelani,

Um....huh?

Love,
Margaret

I just witnessed one of the funniest/scariest displays of nonathletic activity ever - the faculty-student basketball game. Now, for those of you who do not know, I teach at a special education school where we pride ourselves on awarding standard diplomas because "We don't remediate. We accommodate." Well, all of our teachers are pretty much nonathletic (present company included thanx to a weak knee that ruined any possibility of me playing in the US Open or at least playing any kind of real tennis in my.....er.....sorry, I digress). In any event, the students were told not to get rowdy because this was a basketball game (I know, but it's true).

After 32 minutes of playing (8-minute quarters) the score was 30 - 17 in favor of the faculty. I then remembered that our girls team won one game all season and placed third in the league and our boys placed fourth (Go Eagles!).

The story is funnier than it reads, thanx to my poor short term memory, but, hey, you didn't blog, so I am still better.

Crazy, about, commas,

Sure, it might be a little sick, and it might seem a little cruel...

but it's funny.

At least I got the legal question right. BLOG!!!!!!!

"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
--------------->HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Yes, that guy is pretending to be gay so the models/beautiful women will feel safe to undress infront of him.

So...I'm in the Sheraton Chapel Hill sitting across the hall from the Victoria's Secret District Meet and Greet. Unfortunately, there are no models here, but there are about 10 attractive women over there. Why is this any of my concern? I'm wondering if the one guy sitting in that room is gay. This always fascinates me.

Dear Mr. Oh Bee Juan,

Yes, Bush is the antichrist. Yes, we will be attacked by everyone, except Canada. I think the US is becoming the modern day Great Britain. Remember them? Remember when they had the power to say, "OK, so you want to fight. Then, we are going to help the other side." and countries would stop fighting? We have taken over where Alexander The Great, Great Britain and the Roman Empire stopped.

I think our conquerous attitude is synonymous with a teenager who just got her drivers' license. At first, you go fast. Then you go faster. Then you get reckless. Then you get in a big crash and get the bejesus scared out of you. Then you go slower. If we are not careful, our accident will happen sooner than we think. Do we have enough insurance to cover the damage?

As for Rob, Congrats on the Lasagna (pronounced Luh - zahg - nee).

Now for the rest of you - BLOG!!!!!

More:

So...is Bush the antichrist or are we living in the country that will actually be attacked by everyone? Choose one, explain. I'm being Syrian...er serious.

Does anyone realize that "Rock Me Amadeus" was a #1 hit? I was just listening to it. I spent most of that time thinking WTF? Then I realized..."How Bizarre." Are you happy Margaret?

There was once a day when a dear friend decided that he needed a method to keep up with his friends daily lives. Consequently, he devised a way to stay abreast of their happiness, sadness, and randomness. In short, a blog was born. Traditionally, blogs did not exist, but this was a new way for friends to talk, announce and stream their collective consciousnesses.

Somewhere along this sordid journey, his blog began to fade. Not because the his friends no longer loved him or cared to share their daily lives with him, but because his friends no longer loved him or cared to share their daily lives with him.

Amidst his call for people to blog, a solution presented itself - trivia. [insert presentatory orchestral piece here]. Since the birth of our new trivia department, no blogs anymore! I understand the lure of trivia - the thrill of competition, the challenge to exhibit one's brain power, and the demonstration of mousal speed. In our excitement over the new kid on the block, we have forgotten about the kid who got us there.

I say to you, as I complete my stream on mental waste, BLOG. For some of us, blogging is our only refuge, our lifeline. Blogging is what keeps the gun in the barrel, the sleeping pills in the bottle, and the knives in the drawer (probably why I have cooked in a while, but I digress).

Help me help you save me and blog!

The world's dumbest player is roeeyah

http://www.moveon.org/socialsecurity/facts.html

I had nine, but changed at the last minutes - Damn!

1. The Super Bowl was two days ago.

Thank You

Anyone ELSE have too much time on their hands?

The Dumbest Player today is currently snickersbaxton.

But you better believe I got this one right:

Question 9
General : The Everything Quiz (10-Question Average Quizzes)
Complete the title: 'Are You There, God? It's Me, _______?'
-Mary
-June
-Margaret
-Jane

I like the harder stuff, it kept us all honest - no bloated scores.
I also like cookies.

Sometimes...a product comes home. Then you start to understand how we can all get assault rifles.

Alright, I'm going to try again. I think I've got an "average stuff" trivia quiz that should not have too many pocket lint questions -- but I cannot promise that. Making a quiz on a very specific topic I could do easily (say The Princess Bride or maybe just for John a Friends quiz) but trying to make something more general has turned out to be somewhat tricky. There are enough questions to get us through a week or so and then I'll come up with something else (or we can always go back to the hard as crap trivia, the random music lyrics, or obscure movie trivia. There's also a premade category for Bible trivia or History/geography but I figured I'd try to be nice.)

Today's quiz included two (2!) questions about the most serious of topics. Read on:

Question 9
General : The World's Only Quiz on Pocket Lint ( Thematic Junk)
What exactly is pocket lint?

1. Bits and pieces of stuff that collects in a pocket
   
2. An insatiable yearning
   
3. A species of carnivorous lizard
   
4. A type of pneumatic compression analysis equipment
   

Question 10
General : The World's Only Quiz on Pocket Lint ( Thematic Junk)
Have any famous philosophers, thinkers, or scientific geniuses ever spoken at length about pocket lint?

1. yes, Einstein did
   
2. yes, George W Bush did
   
3. yes, Plato did
   
4. no
   

Banana Phone

Ok, I'm going to officially cast my vote for a middle-of-the-road FunTrivia quiz. One of my questions today was:

What color is milk?
-green
-blue
-white
-red

Have Beer. Need Super Bowl. Come Join Me! I have places to sleep many.

The Dumbest Player today is currently snickersbaxton.