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Tuesday, February 01, 2005
The Dumbest Player today is currently snickersbaxton.
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Quiz fixed.


Sorry, no internet connection while in Disney World.

Friday, January 28, 2005
Wow. This is painful to watch.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Damn. What a GREAT headline.
Monday, January 24, 2005
Since I know the answer...I won't respond.
Well, I got this wrong, but I'll let you all try it. Feel free to post your guesses, and I'll post the answer later. If I can manage it, I'll post the answer under the question. We'll see. Anyway:

Solve this mystery:

A woman, while at the funeral of her mother, met this guy whom she did not know. She thought the guy was amazing, her dream man! She fell in love with him instantly, but never asked for his phone number and could not find him after the funeral. A few days later she killed her sister.
Question: What is her motive in killing her sister? (Give this some thought before you answer)
MSNBC - Jan. 24 called worst day of the year

Indeed it is. It sucks.
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Not only does the quiz have too many "Friends" questions, but they don't know the answers. One of my questions (on the day that I only got 1 right! supposedly...) was Who guest starred as Rachel's sister? The answer, according to me (and John, and Scott, and Google) is Christina Applegate. I chose Christina Applegate. They said I was wrong, that it was Reese Witherspoon.

Sucky, sucky, sucky. Please, for the love of God, CHANGE THE CATEGORY.
The quiz sucks. Every question about the 90s is about Friends, and not easy stuff about Friends. Here's my quiz -- 5 questions having to do with Friends.

Weren't there things happening in the world that didn't happen in a sitcom?

Answer accurately and quickly to gain the most points!

If you do not submit this quiz, you will be scored a zero!

Topic of the Hour: 1990s
Timer started! Go! Go! Go!


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Question 1

Sports : NFL Teams in the 90s (NFL 1990s)

New Orleans has the nickname of who?

Stars
Saints
Angels
Orioles


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Question 2

Television : "Friends", "Friends", and More "Friends" (Friends* Mixture: Average Q-Z)

Chandler said, at first, that Monica's bathing suit from high school was used to cover Connecticut when it rains. What did he see that changed his mind?

Ross' hair
Rachel's puffy sleeved prom dress
Rachel's old nose
Monica's sandwich


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Question 3

Sports : Super Bowl XXIX (Super Bowl 1990s)

How many receiving yards did Jerry Rice have?

131
153
142
149


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Question 4

Music : Mad Music Trivia (1990s Music)

How many men are in the Backstreet Boys?

Four
Three
Six
Five


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Question 5

Television : Name the Television Year: 1990s (1990s TV)

1 - 'ER', 2 - 'Seinfeld', 3 - 'Veronica's Closet', 4 - 'Friends', and 5 - 'Touched by an Angel'. What year was this, the final one for 'Roseanne'?

1994
1998
1997
1995


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Question 6

Television : Are You A True "Friend"? Part Two (Friends* Mixture: Average A-E)

Who stole Ross's monkey, Marcel, and made him wear a tutu?

Joey
Mr. Heckles
Emily
Chandler


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Question 7

Music : The Worst of Rock & Pop Lyrics Quiz (1990s Music)

"I think I'm done nursing the patience."

My Friends Over You
The Anthem
Man In The Box
Learn To Fly


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Question 8

Music : Fun Music Quiz (1990s Music)

Name 3 members from N'Sync?

Justin, Lance and Chris
Lance, Robert and Sam
Justin, Joseph, JC
Joe, Rupert and Lance


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Question 9

Television : Name the Television Year: 1990s (1990s TV)

For a change of pace, which of these shows was NOT on Australia's Top 20 ranked shows for the 1999-2000 season?

'Friends'
'Jesse''
'Survivor'
'ER'


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Question 10

Television : "Friends" Questions (Friends* Mixture: Average A-E)

What is Chip Matthews' phone number?

555 9462
555 9323
555 8344
555 9921
This was my quiz today. This is what the 1990's have been reduced to? Why only two or three days of music trivia and weeks of Friends? AHHHHHHHHHHH


Answer accurately and quickly to gain the most points!

If you do not submit this quiz, you will be scored a zero!

Topic of the Hour: 1990s
Timer started! Go! Go! Go!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Question 1

Sports : Gold Medallists 1 (1996 Atlanta)

Cycling. In Atlanta the gold medal on the road-event was won by:

Miguel Indurain
Pascal Richard
Rolf Sorensen
Max Sciandri


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Question 2

Television : Die Hard 'Friends' Quiz (Friends* Mixture: Average Q-Z)

Who buys a lap top?

Joey
Chandler
Ross
Rachel


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Question 3

Television : Are You A True "Friend"? Part Two (Friends* Mixture: Average A-E)

When the engagement ring Phoebe was supposed to be guarding for Chandler is accidentally sold, what does Chandler say to the purchaser to get it back from him?

The ring is fake
The ring is cursed
Phoebe is dying
The ring is stolen


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Question 4

Television : Tough 'Friends' (Friends* Mixture: Average Q-Z)

When everybody played poker, what was the limit?

a dollar
50 cents
25 cents
75 cents


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Question 5

Television : "Friends" Galore! (Friends* Mixture: Average Q-Z)

When mentioned, which movie will immediately make Joey cry?

"Gone With the Wind"
"Titanic"
"Old Yeller"
"It's a Wonderful Life"


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Question 6

Television : "Friends" Fanatic (Friends* Mixture: Average Q-Z)

In what tv show did Joey have a robot co-star?

Days of Our lives
Freud
Cereal Lives
Mac and Cheese


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Question 7

Television : Ultimate 'Friends' Trivia (Friends* Mixture: Average A-E)

What was the name of Eddie's ex-girlfriend?

Tillie
Tara
Tina
Tanya


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Question 8

Television : 'Friends' Trivia (Friends* Mixture: Average Q-Z)

Whose boss likes to congratulate people by slapping them on the butt?

Monica
Ross
Chandler
Rachel


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Question 9

Television : 'Friends' Trivia (Friends* Mixture: Average Q-Z)

Whom does Monica say Chandler looks like with a mustache?

Their dad
Aunt Silvia
Tom Selleck
Hitler


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Question 10

Television : 'Friends' Trivia (Friends* Mixture: Average A-E)

Who said 'Oh, I think this is the episode of 'Three's Company' where there's some kind of misunderstanding'?

Rachel
Ross
Chandler
Monica


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Friday, January 21, 2005
Rob - if it sent you to microsoft yesterday, it's because that's where your computer goes when it's confused. I had the link screwed up, so it had two sets of "http://" ...so the link no worky.

But now it worky!
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Wow. This is disturbing.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Turn any iPod into an iPod Shuffle in 3 easy steps! on Flickr - Photo Sharing!

Thanks to our long lost blogger, Smitty.
Monday, January 17, 2005
Before, he was misguided, dumb, and dangerous.

Now, he is misguided, dumb, dangerous...and drunk with power.
Sunday, January 16, 2005
I ROCK THE MUSIC BOX!!!
Friday, January 14, 2005
Dear Friends,

I took my dog to the vet. He is no longer all that cool with me anymore. They stuck so many needles (not to mention the things they stuck in his butt). He is so drowsy and pitiful looking - poor baby.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
OH MY GOD.

One of the "rants" in the Cville:

My rant is: Saw the young man who was accused of rape in the city last year. Following his case I approched him while he was having hot chocolate on the Mall theo ther day. He was receptive of me and very cordial. I told him I felt for him going through that ordeal. His case was dismissed, he told me, because the alleged statements of the young lady's assault didn't corroborate with DNA and forensics testing. Now here we are living in Mr. Jefferson's city, following the honor code system and celebrating to the fullest. And Mr. Ward has nine months of his life taken away from him. The city even tried to make him the serial rapist. He was wronged all the way around. The city should reopen their welcoming arms to this guy. My suggestion: Help heal the hurt caused to this young man and repay him whatever damages to him were caused. You know what they say: He without sin cast the first stone.

Are you friggin kidding me?
I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy. I am not a mac guy.

This is freakin' awesome.

Oh, how I love the morning!

Q. Why are the arses in front of my driving five miles below?
A. There's a cop on the road.

Q. Why are they driving so slowly next to scooter cop?
A. I don't know.

Q. Why is scooter cop the guy who gave me a ticket in September?
A. Karma.

Q. Why did scooter cop decide to follow me?

Good morning.
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
"We were communists and fascists at the same time."

Damned Flip-floppers.

CNN.com - Library board puts Jon Stewart's book back on shelves - Jan 11, 2005

Ms. Skelton is not quoted in this article, but presumably she agrees with the reversal.
Monday, January 10, 2005
:: View topic - Get Well Chris !

This is a story about a friend's brother. It's a tiny bit gross, but most troubling is that the person hasn't been found.
CNN.com - Mississippi libraries ban 'Daily Show' book - Jan 10, 2005: "Former English teacher Tara Skelton of Ocean Springs said the libraries shouldn't decide what is in poor taste."

Who is Tara Skelton? Ocean Springs is a town 17.1 miles away in Mississippi, but other than that I can see no connection between Ms. Skelton and Jon Stewart's book. Maybe it's that Ms. Skelton was an English teacher, and the book is written in English.

Why didn't the author (it's an Associated Press article) contact an actual librarian? Is there a shortage of them in Gulfport, Mississippi?
Apparently, you're going to be #1 anyway. Princess Diaries my ass.
Friday, January 07, 2005
I have determined that as long as the topic is movies, the only way I'm going to be #1 for any time at all is to be the first to take my quiz for the day. Thus - so far, I'm #1! I'm #1!
It took them a long time to do it, but I'm convinced that The Smoking Gun can obtain pretty much anything. "The Telltale Splotch" (on the right) is quite probably the most disturbing thing I've ever read.

Well, not EVER. I mean, I do like Stephen King.
Again, stolen blatantly from Dave Barry's blog (I do try to keep this to a minimum):

Instructional Headline Of The Day
The last line of the article explains everything. Well, nearly everything.
Finally,

A game I can play.
Think how those of us who consider ourselves movie buffs feel when we only get 6 right. These are darn hard!
Given my complete movie ignorance, I'm PROUD of my 5 correct trivia answers.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Wait, let me correct myself - four MONTHS for murder.
ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEE

MSN - News - CNN Cans 'Crossfire' Host Carlson

"I guess I come down more firmly in the Jon Stewart camp," Klein told The Associated Press.
Scott - I saw that article and burst out laughing. Good thing we weren't open yet.
This news speaks for itself: Bill Gates Has Eventful Presentation At CES
I just composed this long post with links to news articles and everything - but lost it when my crappy computer died.

Basically, you get 10 years for marijuana possession, 3 or 6 years for murder, and probation for locking your child in the trunk of your car so that you can drink and use drugs. What a system!
http://www.caloriesperhour.com/index_food.html

I was previously consuming about 2100 calories per day.
I was previously gaining weight at a rate of about a half-pound per week.
1 pound = 3500 calories.
A half-pound per week is 1750 too many calories per week, or 250 too many calories per day.
Therefore, to maintain my weight, I can consume about 1850 calories per day.
(We're ignoring fat content here, but let's go with it)
On the diet, I consume about 1500 calories/day, which is 350 less than required to maintain, or 2100 less than required to maintain in a week.
By the change in food alone, I should lose a little more than a half-pound per week.
(We're somewhat ignoring cheat day by calling a week 6 days)
Lifting weights burns about 200 calories in an hour.
The elliptical burns about 200 calories in 20 minutes.
Thus, with working out, I'm burning an extra 1200 calories per week.
(We're ignoring my incalculable general increase in metabolism, which we'll say is cancelled out by cheat day)
So, with working out alone, I should lose about a third of a pound per week.
With both diet and exercise, I should lose 3300 calories, or about 1 pound per week.
Over 12 weeks, I should lose 12 pounds.
Over 24 weeks, I should lose 24 pounds.
Then we can go on a cruise.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
First of all, welcome, The Riddler.

Second, I. Want. Snow.
I'm firmly entrenched (Margaret, I'm sorry if I spelled that wrong) in fifth or sixth place -- and it's my game. Fun anyway. I was able to surprise myself by translating French though.
I'm winning.

To be fair, though, the Hebrew question was a gimme.
Dammit, I'd be #1 on the trivia thingy if I hadn't gone back and changed one of my answers.

I suck.

How's everyone doing?
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Hmm...

...so I was listening to clips of the new Phantom soundtrack. After hearing a couple of tracks, I started wondering WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!!! I then realized that the actors from the movies recorded the disc. I'm thinking they're not so great as singers.
Zeitgeist(n): spirit of the times (see the complete definition from dictionary.com)
Stolen blatantly from Dave Barry's blog:

EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTING, POSSIBLY EVEN CRIMINALLY MISLEADING, WEBSITE OF THE DAY

Penisland.net
Monday, January 03, 2005
Thanks, Meghan. I like that game. (Because I won.)
So, I found this cool trivia contest server and figured since fantasy football season is now officially over some of us need new ways to express our "winning desires." Anyway it's kinda cool and there are new questions each day. It keep track of your points and shares them with the world. You do have to "sign up" to play but I've never recieved any kind of "spammy crap" from them. So join in and play.


Play our Daily Trivia Game! New Questions Daily!
Thpbbt. Let this blog go too long without a post, and suffer the consequences: a post with no other purpose but to take up space and fill my time.

Like this one.
Read this, and then read the letter here (you may have to scroll down to read the long letter, but as I post this, it's at the top).

People are idiots.
Daddy Z has a point.

So, it's Monday, and I'm back at work, after a glorious vacation. Did I say glorious? I meant short. Anyway, my to-do list is more than a page long in Outlook, which is stressful enough - but I was actually looking forward to having 3 hours to myself today, from 10 until 1, since we don't open until 1, to get things done. Of course, some student showed up at 9am and Katie let him in, because he drove from Longwood, so I had to proctor his test. So much for my quiet, getting-organized time.

January at Kaplan is, I would imagine, sort of like April at H&R Block. Arg.

Why is the clock wrong?
Friday, December 31, 2004
I think it is unanimous, Daddy Z should not go to work anymore. Your last blog, though highly informative, did not make me want to recycle because many years ago, NBC did an expose (ex -po - zay) about how recycle centers just trow some of the stuff away.

As for people who say no more plastic, I want them to get seriously injured or sick so they can see that nearly everything that is saving their lives is made of some sort of plastic.

I start work on Monday. May will be here before we know it.
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
For years now, I've dutifully checked every plastic piece of trash for the right set of numbers to figure out if I could recycle it. Our trash service collects one through four, along with our other recycling, all in one bin. We are advised to rinse plastics first and to remember to remove bottle tops, which frequently are made from a different kind of plastic than the primary container.

We perform this civic service at home for two reasons. First, putting stuff in the recycling bin keeps it out of our regular trash, so we don't need to take the big barrel out every week. We just put out the recycling bin, which is easier to lug around since it’s filled with empty cans, plastic bottles, glass jars, and newsprint. Second, I have felt strongly the importance of taking care of the environment, limiting pollution, and limiting our use of non-renewable natural resources. Plastics are a petrochemical product, meaning that producing them requires using oil and/or natural gas, and I recall from chemistry classes that manufacturing plastic, and sometimes even recycling it, can produce noxious chemical fumes. I don’t want all of that crap in the air I breathe, and I don’t want large chunks of plastic in the wild where it can do physical and chemical damage.

The silence of the empty office produces some rather interesting, non-sequiter thoughts. Today, I wondered (possibly aloud), "what do the numbers mean?" Then, "if the numbers mean something, why can I mix them all in one bin?" And this: "what if recycling plastic doesn't really help the environment?”

Quickly, everyone – to the Internet!

There are a lot of leftist treatises on the importance of recycling plastic. The most extreme I’ve seen so far recommends that we stop using plastics entirely. Frankly, I think that’s both useless and stupid. Useless, because plastics are ubiquitous – clothes, furniture, cell phones, car parts, circuit boards, carpet, building materials, containers of every variety, printed materials, and hundreds (perhaps thousands) of other products are made from plastic. If all consumers stopped using plastic wrap to save their leftovers, I doubt the plastics industry would blink.

Boycotting plastic is also stupid. Many of those products – the ones that could exist before plastic, anyway – would be made of some other natural material (like wood) if it weren’t for the abundance of plastic, and so would cost several times what they do now. Plastic makes our world less expensive. It also makes it safer; when was the last time you worried about dropping a two-liter soda bottle? They used to be glass, and they used to shatter quite well. Now they’re plastic, and if you drop one, you might spill some soda, but you won’t shred your feet.

In any case, if you wade through the propaganda, you can find some useful facts. First of all, the numbering system has an explanation (albeit a little complex). Each number represents a different plastic resin, and each resin has different properties. In the first place, some plastics melt when exposed to heat (thermoplastic), and some resist melting (thermosetting). For example, most of you probably have non-stick pots or pans that can go in the oven (and all can be used on top of the stove). The non-stick coating is plastic (usually Teflon, or PTFE – polytetrafluoroethylene), but it doesn’t melt. But don’t try cooking anything in a plastic milk jug. The Intermediate Technology Development Group, a “charity which works with poor communities to develop appropriate technologies” has an explanation in their technical brief.

Since the easiest way to recycle plastic is to shred it into pellets, then melt the pellets and extrude or mold new objects, plastics that resist melting can be a big problem. Plastics one through six (PET, HDPE, PVC, LDPE, PP, and PS) are all thermoplastic, and according to the ITDG brief, make up about 80% of the world’s plastics. But these plastics melt at different temperatures, so the recycling process has to be different for each different type of plastic. The problem gets worse when hardeners or other reinforcing agents (like fiberglass) are mixed with the plastic.

Assume for the moment you’re recycling only PET (1) and HDPE (2). PET melts at 250C, HDPE at 130 (482 and 266 Fahrenheit). While the plastics don’t have to be (and shouldn’t be) entirely melted for recycling, they do have to be heated to the point where they are soft enough that they can be molded into new objects. It’s difficult to heat plastic evenly, because it is not a good conductor of heat. There’s also a narrow range of temperatures at which it is safe to work with plastic (too hot, and it gives off fumes and can char; too cold, and it doesn’t work). So PET and HDPE have to be separated before they can be recycled. Because other contaminants (like food clinging to containers) interfere with the softening process (and can contaminate the final product), they have to be removed as well.

From what I can tell, although there are some pretty sophisticated ways to sort plastics through machinery (using X-rays and fluoroscopes), this part of the process is mostly done by hand.

So apart from helping the environment, recycling plastic employs trash workers whose job it is to sort plastic by color and number. Any manual process is prone to human error, so it’s anyone’s guess as to how many bales have to be resorted or thrown away because of mistakes.

So I’ve answered my first two questions, but the last one will require more investigation and lots of math.
Monday, December 20, 2004
Dear Tom:

18°F
Fair
Feels Like: 4°F
Wind: NW at 14 mph
Humidity: 22%


COLD.
Friday, December 17, 2004
This is fun, but frustrating. Try to spell something long. Also frustrating is the severe stickiness of the "u" on my keyboard.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Do those pillows come in fat, or black, or even better, fat black? Do they have the fried chicken and and robitusen (how the hell do you spell robitussen?) scent? On a more perverted note, do they have the mountain fresh scent (there are two other (s)(c)ents, sent and cent)? If you turn your head inward, do you get to see the "road to China?"

I would like to take credit for positing (not posting, but positing) these questions on my own, but that would be an untruth. Instead, however, I tell you that some of these queries came from my beloved students, who, thanx to drugs and my destructive influence, have learned how to navigate through, participate in and enjoy the outer fringes of their minds. :)

Harry Kwannachamas to all, happy birthday to the bloggers, and, finally, love, peace and soup. Mostly because soup rocks!

Oh! My secret Santa bought me a Virginia pennant (I'm excited), I'm getting that "loving feeling" (I'm scared to death), I can no longer play tennis anymore because my platella (knee cap), has shifted slightly, so my knee doesn't work right anymore (I am mad/sad as hell), and I am coming home for the days of holiness (pronounced like Holly with a ness attached).

BLOG AND IT SHALL SET YOU FREE!!!
I'm alive. I can't say much for Mr. Wallace except that I believe he is alive - but cannot confirm that at this point. All I know is that his Fantasy Football team has two essentially dead RBs and maybe I should tell him before time runs out for him to pick up a live one. Well, maybe not. What would be the fun in that?
And, to commemorate the anniversary of the blog, among other things, I would like to post a link to one of the oddest things I've seen all week.

I know what I'm getting John for Christmas!
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Hey Bitches!

I just wanted to thank everyone for participating in this little experiment. You're all wonderful. Except for those who don't post anymore.

In any case, I just wanted to mention that our blog has been around for over a year now. In fact, all in the same week, Margaret and I celebrated our fifth anniversary of really pissing off her parents, the blog came of age, and I was called an asshole for not loving the Red Sox. Sorry folks, I just don't give a rat's ass.


Welcome Daddy Z to the land of the lost. We are lost because we refused and sabatoged all efforts to be found.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Speaking of surreal....

Scott Zetlan has joined the blog.

[Think: "Elvis has left the building."]
Today, I am a man. Or something. I finally know what the sani-rinse option on my dishwasher does. Those of you who don't, look it up. The general consensus seems to be that it's useless -- after all, the moment you take the dishes out of the dishwasher, they're no longer bacteria-free.

But here I am, three weeks after my son's birth, and I now have good reason to hit that little sani-rinse button. It had been sitting there, unused, on the control panel, smirking at me as if to say, "what a friggin' waste of money. Sucker."

Indeed.

Now, though, I have reached a point in my life where it is truly easier to hit this button and waste water and electricity than it is to boil a pot of water.

Yet I do not lament the loss of my pre-sani-rinse childhood. Rather, I marvel at the surreality of adult-hood, the pseudo-miracles of modern technology.
Monday, December 13, 2004

Yesterday, I attended my first Redskins game. My husband got a good deal on some tickets (read: they were very very high up; we may have had a better view from the Game Blimp), so we packed up some friends and were off. We drove for hours, sitting through traffic and braving the roads around DC so that I could attend my First Professional Football Game. Also, so that our friend’s 8-year-old son could attend his Eighteenth Professional Football Game.

Now, I have attended a lot of college football games. I’m used to the screaming fans, the crowds, and getting ripped off at the concession stand. Pro football, however, is – pardon the pun – a whole other ball game. Fans don’t just scream; they assault. Crowds aren’t just boisterous; they’re out of control. And personal pizzas aren’t just $6, they’re $8. It’s sheer craziness.

Part of the premise, I think, behind the $7 beer (aside from Corporate Profits) is that it should keep people from getting too drunk. When it costs at least $50 to get drunk, and at least $70 to get REALLY drunk, theoretically, it’s too expensive to get really drunk. (But no, there is another answer: minibottles.)

Let me describe a typical exchange between fans in section 418. I’ll leave out of some the more colorful language, but you’ll get the idea. The characters: “Bob,” a guy in his mid-twenties, relatively quiet Redskins fan sitting in his seat. “Eric,” a scrawny and loud kid probably still in his teens, an Eagles fan who claims he “can’t get arrested again” and who won’t sit down. Finally, we have “Walt,” an older man, probably in his 60s, a Redskins fan who was also relatively quiet up until this exchange.

So you understand the situation, one of the Eagles players was injured and lying on the field. They had brought out the miniambulance and play had been delayed for a few minutes. God forbid we pause the game because someone is paralyzed. Bob said something I couldn’t entirely hear about being glad that an Eagle was hurt – probably something along the lines of “Yeah! Kill him!” Eric turned to him and replied, sensibly but a bit drunkenly, that you shouldn’t cheer for someone getting hurt, and that if a Redskin was hurt he wouldn’t be happy about it, and how he hated Bob’s entire team but didn’t want them injured or dead, and added a few of his own thoughts on Bob’s personal character. Then Walt chimed in with something about putting all of the Eagles in body bags, and commented on Eric’s personal character, but Eric didn’t hear him. So Walt repeated himself. Four times. Finally, Eric heard him, and turned to tell Walt precisely what he could do to some part of Eric – to which Walt replied that he probably wouldn’t be able to find it. Eric said that it was right here and he could whip it out, and Walt told Eric to get him a magnifying glass and go ahead. Eric started climbing over seats. Finally a few surrounding fans took notice and held both parties back until everyone started watching the game again.

This type of exchange happened every 30-45 seconds, and about 1 in every 10 of them came to blows. Section 418, at least, kept all 3 police officers that were there VERY busy.

We saw several fistfights and more attempted fistfights. (I do have a theory that a lot of men are quite willing to attempt to fight as long as there are a lot of people to prevent an actual fight from happening.) We saw people throw beer and heard people make some very creative and violent threats. We saw one guy get hit with a bottle and another guy laugh about it. We saw a police officer fall down concrete stairs attempting to remove one of the more violent fans. We saw behavior that made the Artest brawl look almost reasonable.

Oh, there were some fun moments – such as when the cheerleaders took the field, and the 8-year-old woke up from a sound sleep to crawl over 4 people to get his binoculars. There was a very nice couple sitting behind us that we got to talk to a bit; they were very normal and human. But quite frankly, I have very nice friends that I can invite to my house to watch the game – and on the TV, the 8-year-old can get a much better view of the cheerleaders. It’s much warmer in my house, and the drinks are cheaper.

But of course, we do need to have fans at footballs games, because pro sports are a business and have to make money – and clearly $50 tickets and $7 beers are the easiest way to do that. There should, however, be a rule: any man attending a pro football game must bring either his wife or his mother.

Problem solved.

I will not make Charlottesville at any decent hour on Friday. I will leave work at 3pm, which means I will be in Charlottesville at or around 3am. Now, if you insist, I have no problem drinking at that hour. In fact, I recommend it. Having said that, I need to work on the throat clearing in my writing. In any event, I will see you all Saturday Morning.
Well-put, Jelani. Very nicely said. I applaud you, and your soapbox. Er, shoebox.

Further, I would like to direct everyone (and by everyone, I mean the three people who still read the blog) to www.bobsagetisgod.com. It would be funnier if the person were more serious, but oh well. We can't ask for too much from our cheap humor.

And even further, Jelani, when will you be arriving in town on Friday? We're planning something with alcohol, and of course must consider your needs.
Is this thing on?

I have bad news. A blog is dying. We are all guilty, jointly and severally, of watching its demise and doing nothing. I now stand on my shoe box because soap boxes are a) too small, b) not as sturdy as they used to be, and c) I would have to buy boxed soap when I already have shoes. In any event, I am now standing on a deflated shoe box because, as I have now discovered, shoe boxes aren't at all sturdy. Nonetheless, I stand here in a crowd of people where the probability of being the shortest or one of the shortest people in the crowd is great, which means my message will no doubt deliver its flacid blow to deaf or out of "earshot" ears. So, I yell. With hands cupped around my mouth (not to hide the infliction of morning breath), I fill my lungs with air and summon the courage to form the words necessary to convey a message.

BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Breath life into this blog, lest its death be excruciatingly painful, slow and quiet. Fiends, Browsers, Bloggers! Blog for your right to blog. Blog for the right to blog. Blog for blogging's sake. Finally, blog the blogger's quo. I blog this to your attention because when all is blogged and done, all we will have are our blogs. And we will always have blog.

Bloggingly,

Yours Blogly
Saturday, December 04, 2004
I am obviously having too much fun with this stuff and want you to join in. Have fun!

Michael Lohan was arrested and charged with forging bad checks and processing stolen credit cards. The prosecution called Lindsay to testify that she had not given her father the permission to use the cards or put her signature on the checks. Despite his best work, the prosecutor was unable to get Lindsay to get the information out of her –bergaflickle!. Finally, Michael takes the stand and testifies that his daughter did give him permission to use the cards and thus he has committed no crime. By the time Michael takes the stand, Lindsay is no where to be found. If fact, they found 22 plane tickets to 22 different locations sold to one Lindsay Lohan. The prosecutor offers into evidence Lindsay’s previous testimony to contradict Michael’s testimony. Michael’s lawyer object. The judge should rule:
I. The hearsay is reliable and thus admissible
II. The declarant is unavailable, so the statement is admissible.
III.The hearsay is not reliable because it was during a court proceeding where witnesses are known to lie for family
IV. The statement is unreliable hearsay and thus inadmissible

A. Only I
B. I and II
C. I, II, and IV
D. IV only


The IRS and the FBI had the grand jury served five subpoenas on Traci Lords’ manager, DeVil Him Self. These subpoenas asked for Traci’s initial application to work for Smut T. Videos, Inc. and transcripts from conversations that STV’s lawyers had with some STV employees. Knowing that the state of Californication required all employment applications to have a copy of the applicants drivers’ license or some other state issued ID, the prosecution was trying to prove that Traci was too young to be in that line of work and that STV was involved with tax evasion. Self refused to tender the documents. A warrant was issued for his arrest and he was brought before a judge. Where he still refused to produce the documents. Self’s lawyer, fresh out of law school, says, “Your honor! Mr. Self does not have to produce these documents because it violates his fifth amendment rights.” The judge will rule,
A. All proprietary information will be blacked out with a permanent marker and thus will not violate any of Mr. Self’s rights
B. The act of producing the documents will serve as an implied testimonial act and are covered by the privilege against self-incrimination
C. That this decision is inline with United States v. Gould, 536 F.2d 216 (8th Cir. 1976) where the Supreme Court held that this was not an implied testimonial act, so Mr. Self must produce the materials.
D. None of the above.

The correct answer is B. A is wrong because it is gibberish. C is incorrect because that case, although properly cited, is about judicial notice and there is no such case with that holding. This fact pattern is from the case of United States v. Doe, 465 U.S. 605 (1984).

Same facts as above. What if DeVil Him Self did not have a conversation with any of his corporate lawyers. The FBI was not able to get Traci’s application, so the IRS wanted to get the transcripts of the conversations. Ever the smart cookie, Self’s lawyers jumps up again, “Your honor! That violates Attorney-Client privilege.” The judge will rule
A. “That is preposterous!” Self did not speak to any of his lawyers in the transcripts. Therefore, since Self in on trial here, those statements made by his employees are not covered by privilege and must be turned over to the court.
B. Since the lawyers are hired by STV, any conversations that the lawyers had with STV employees on STV’s behalf will be deemed covered under attorney-client privilege, so Mr. Self does not have to tender the documents.
C. Unless each of those employees individually hired a STV attorney or have a form on file that purports to do so, none of the transcripts are covered by privilege.
D. None of the above.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Dear JB,

I’m sorry that exams suck. I wish you were here, so we could all drink your pain away. Instead, you will have to embark on that mission with the sole help of Zonald. Oh well.

We miss you!

Good luck with exams. When will you be around here?

-Margaret
It has been a week since anyone last blogged. The joy in my life has gone away. Please restore the joy to my life. I need useless reading to help me cope with mind-numbing, gut-wrenching, global-killing, life-stealing, sleep-depriving, appetite-killing, social life-ending, blinding, exams.
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
Since I know my sister won't have time to blog this,

I'd like to welcome to the world Davis Geoffrey Zetlan! At 7lbs, 1 oz and 21 inches long, he's already well on his way to becoming a full-sized Zetlan. Congrats to Gen and Scott for a job well done. So far, anyway.
Monday, November 22, 2004
Madame Baxton, your post - funny.
On Hydrocodone - even funnier.
On too much Hydrocodone because the nurse said you could double up the dosage - Priceless
ha
ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
(gasp)
HA HA HA HA HA AHAH AHAHA HA
ha ha ha ha....

ahhh...

I can't stop laughing. Or crying.
Friday, November 19, 2004
I saved the world!
I now declare the season to recycle Christmas jokes open. Have your fun, people. You earned it.
http://www.wtv-zone.com/LadyBoheme/dearsanta.html
Thursday, November 18, 2004
For those of you with WAY too much time on your hands....a gift.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Oh, it's appropriate...

Congrats, by the way, go out to Smitty and Leila!
Ever since the GOP got its mandate, I've been on a blogger hiatus. I've missed the blog though. So I've returned. How appropriate is the name of this little piece of web heaven?
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
But no! It's not a joke! It's TRUE!
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Wow - this made me feel better.
Friday, November 05, 2004
Well, there could be a very simple explanation as to why Bush got SO MANY more votes than Kerry, even though EVERYONE - even Republicans - thought Kerry was going to win.

Oh. My. God.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Rob, I think the most telling statistics in there are the ones where the votes are broken down by education level...
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Thank you, cnn.com, for overdramatizing EVERYTHING...

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- President Bush called his victory over John Kerry "historic" Wednesday as he became the first Republican president to win re-election since Ronald Reagan in 1984.

Um…huh? How is this historic?
Some angels died today - Bush was re-elected.


AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sorry, had to fix the formatting.
Sure, Mr. President, go right ahead. You want to invade another country without any reason or provocation? You want to lie to us and lead us to believe you have evidence when there isn't any? You want to alienate our allies while provoking our enemies?

Fine. Go right ahead. CLEARLY, we're OKAY with that. Look, World, we re-elected him! We're FINE with it!
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Have you voted today?

If not, you're a BAD PERSON.

:-)
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Good video!

Eminem's "Mosh"
Thursday, October 21, 2004
JB, remember to vote!
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
So money can't solve the stupidity problem.

"Oh no, I'm worth hundreds of millions, but I can't remember to eat."

Wait,

I've just explained Republicans.
Honestly,

I don't really give a flying shit if a star gets plastic surgery and I don't care if Barry Bonds does roids (and the MLB shouldn't either - 73 home runs makes people watch games).

Just to make it clear:

"Boobies!"
"Guns!"

Now, with that said, who the hell is advising these women to literally ruin, er, mutilate themselves?

To close,

I just saw the instructions for using/getting repairs for the "colored copier." I'm sure this an honest mistake, but when I think "colored copier," I'm thinking of a guy that looks like me down in the mail room. Don't let me get started on the instruction list either. I'm thinking about removing the "ed".

Monday, October 18, 2004
Man,

I need 30 minutes to pass. NOW.
Friday, October 15, 2004
This just makes me so mad.
Monday, October 11, 2004
For the record, I don't think this is ok, and I wouldn't think it was ok, even if it was anti-Bush...
I tried not to hit him, but I was going 60 mph. He ran under the car and should have been fine...unfortunately for him, I have TWO tires on either side. He's dead now and I killed him.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Ok, just read Gene's chat. Lots of good stuff in here. I can't copy it all.
Stolen blatantly from Gene Weingarten's chat:

Deba, TN: Gene, durnig last week's debate, I noticed that President Bush said jokingly of Senator Kerry, "I try not to hold it against him that he went to Yale." Considering that Bush himself went to Yale, what is that joke supposed to mean? I'm baffled.
And when will Woodward and Bernstein expose that "Liz" and Wonkette are the same person?

washingtonpost.com: Ha. You insult us both.

Gene Weingarten: This was not remotely the oddest thing that Bush said. When he was talking about having met with a woman whose husband was killed in Iraq, he said:

"You know, it's hard work to try to love her as best as I can, knowing full well that the decision I made caused her loved one to be in harm's way."

Doesn't it seem a little crass for Bush to be putting the moves on a war widow?

WHAT IS THIS MAN TALKING ABOUT? And is this related to the way he said that obstetricians "practice their love" on their patients?

That was quite a debate, wasn't it? Bush looked like a man in severe intestinal distress.

I am sure that even at this moment, handlers are working on Cheney to try to transform that crooked sneer into something resembling a smile, no? "No, no, Mr. Vice President, you still look too much like Montgomery Burns..."
I've been waiting for someone to do this.
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
If you have a few minutes, and NOTHING to do - click here.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
I don't know what a lot of these mean - ok, I don't know what MOST of them mean, but I do know that there are a LOT of them.
Saturday, October 02, 2004
Thank you all for the birthday kudos. My father even called to wish me a happy birthday. Late, of course, but wierd nonetheless. I have not blogged in a while, mostly because I still do not know where all of the time is going. It used to be August, like yesterday! Anyway, keep blogging beucase, when I do get online, I have something funny to read.
Friday, October 01, 2004
Another son of another Republican president switches sides.

It's nice, now Ron has company.
These days, Mr. Bush and other administration officials often talk about the 10.5 million Afghans who have registered to vote in this month's election, citing the figure as proof that democracy is making strides after all. They count on the public not to know, and on reporters not to mention, that the number of people registered considerably exceeds all estimates of the eligible population. What they call evidence of democracy on the march is actually evidence of large-scale electoral fraud.

The Article

What's interesting is that if you look up the figures on the internet, you'll get different results, but they all agree on one thing: particularly among the male population, FAR more people are registered to vote than are actually eligible. If you consider that women are also far less likely to register, that means that there are probably a lot of female registrations that aren't valid, but the number registered just doesn't exceed the eligible population...yet.