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Wednesday, April 26, 2006

I'm not feeling too great today...been sneezing like crazy and I really just want to get some sleep. That's not what I'm writing about though.

I was with the Riddler today grabbing a sangwich and my mail from the post office (because I still don't have a box) and I was almost front-ended by a person pulling out of a parking space. WEIRD. Why do people have to back their cars completely straight before pulling forward? Do they not know that the steering wheel turns the other way? Luckily, I honked after my passenger told me to "watch out," otherwise I would have been wringing someone's neck for hitting me with their rear end. But I'm not writing about that either.

What I am writing about is the other thing I saw today. At the light in front of KFC and Days Inn on 29 South, a car was going 25 mph and when the light turned yellow, she slammed on her brakes. I say she because my sexist gene tells me it was a woman. It WAS a woman. I says to the man next to me, "who does that?" We pulled up next to the woman and her sunglassed man-friend (it's DARK outside today). The thing that happened next will stay with me for the rest of my life.

She took a swig of her Natty Light.

WHO DRINKS NATTY LIGHT AT 1:30PM ON WEDNESDAY WHILE DRIVING ON 29? If you're gonna your car...while driving...why not drink Miller Lite? Or at least something that costs more than a Big Mac combo per six pack. ASSHOLES.
Oh, God -

Oh, no - Oh my God -

Please -

Tuesday, April 18, 2006
So....Jelani...just how hung over ARE you today?
Monday, April 17, 2006

This has been a long time coming. I WAS waiting for hell to freeze over, but since Jelani passed the bar, I figured I'd ride that particular blue moon into the sunset.

For my (our) 18th or so "Moving Extravaganza," we figured we'd hire movers to make the process easier. It didn't. I previously mentioned something about inferior intellect. Below I will outline just a few of the things assaulting my sanity and turning me into a bumbling idiot.

Let's look back to late February:

The buyer's (sketchy and biased) appraisal came in 12K lower than the purchase price. We had to purchase our own (unbiased) appraisal that worked out just fine. Everything else in our old neighborhood is now selling for 10K MORE than we sold for last month.

March 14th:

Termite inspection? What's that? Oh, we need one before closing tomorrow?

~March 30th:

Lowes actually sells products that had been previously returned for a lack of proper parts and hardware. F'ers.

and so on:

Despite having movers, we still took at least 10 back and forth trips to the old house. The movers f'd up at least two items and our brand new carpet. They also took their sweet a$$ time moving stuff into the truck.

It rained about 5 minutes after the first time we watered the lawn.


The post office charges $1 for you to change your address online. WTF?

The heat pump was broken for at least 3 days. On one of those days there was a high of 80 or so and a low of 35.

The people we hired to clean the old house required backup cleaning. Unfortunately, we hadn't hired backup cleaners for the first string cleaners.

Directv hadn't changed my address. F'ing idiots.

Sprint is charging me a fee that I don't want to pay.

Charlottesville charges for trash pickup (per bag/per can). Charlottesville's taxes are about 30 cents higher than the county's (where you have to pay for pickup through a private firm that always takes all of your trash). Charlottesville WILL NOT PICK UP TRASH ON OUR NEW STREET. I PAY TAXES TO CHARLOTTESVILLE. BFI failed to pick up my trash after I hired them as a private firm! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!

My wife WILL NOT STOP injuring herself.

To top it all off, my guest room sink is leaking. I'm just glad my master bedroom shower isn't leaking through the floor like my neighbor's is.

With all of that said, it takes 9-10 minutes to get Mrs. B to work every morning. That's down from 20-30. It takes 5 minutes for me to get home for lunch. That's down from 20-25. It takes 12 minutes or so to get home from picking Mrs. B up. That's down from 30-35. I guess it's not so bad. Mrs. B really is great when she's not running into things and despite being in the city, we have a fine "country" view.

I'm sorry, I know you wanted people to look it up, and they still can, but I couldn't contain myself. CONGRATS!

Now get up here so we can celebrate!

P.S. When I first clicked on the link, I went and looked up 99850. But I realized, of course, that I must've gotten it wrong.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006
01-02-03-04-05-06 Tomorrow!

The is actually the dumbest article ever because this will occur again next month in those part of the world who put their day first (everywhere but the US).