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Thursday, December 29, 2005
Don't curse in front of the baby, and don't let him drink, either. Key quote: "The toddler also was taken to the hospital, where tests revealed he had a blood alcohol content of 0.094, the sheriff's office said. The legal limit for driving in New York state is .08."
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
I hope you're planning on pressing charges against that guy! I would! Hell, I wrote the Better Business Bureau over our electric company and won. BOOYAH!
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah!
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Dec 12, 2003 @12:07pm funny post by none other than Oh Bee Juan.

I love the archives!
The true meaning of Christmas according to Mad TV:

The Jews only had enough oil for one night so Jesus came to rescue with enough loaves of bread and fish to last for eight nights. Then Jesus' wife, Mrs. Clause, hid all of those easter eggs.

It's funny because its blasphemous.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Why The Internet Is Great.

There's something for everyone.

(Stolen from Dave Barry...sorry.)
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Also, in Jelani's honor, a website to enjoy:

Today, JB is graduating from law school. Yes, he is one step closer to representing this great nation's justice system, preserving law and order, fighting for truth, justice, and the American way.

And, hopefully, getting paid enough to come home more than once a year.

Congratulations, Jelani. We'll have an extra drink (or two) in your honor today.
...and now I take my first libation of twenty year old Jim Beam - the genesis of a long, remarkably forgotten day.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
UPDATE UPDATE: Looks like the guy DOES have insurance. It's not the company that he originally told the officer he was insured by, though. I'm skeptical. It's another "nonstandard" company for high-risk drivers...d'oh. He called the officer and asked her to give me the agent's name and the claim number, and asked her to relay the message that they're going to take care of it, and really, he didn't see me, and he left because he didn't know where I was. Or something. The officer just relayed the message, she said, because she told him that she would.

How do you rearend someone and not see them? And how do they follow you, beeping the horn, and you not see them? Why would he even say that - or relay that message to me? Was he just saying it to her, really, under the guise of relaying the message to me, to try to convince her not to bring charges?

Wednesday, December 14, 2005
UPDATE: Thanks to the internet and the wonders of public records, here's the jerk's traffic record:

Court Date Charge Type Result
04/28/00 SPEEDING 74/55 Infraction Prepaid
04/28/00 DRIVE SUSPENDED Misdemeanor Guilty
04/28/00 FAIL TO APPEAR/SUSP Capias Guilty
04/06/01 Civil Plaintiff: COMMONWEALTH OF VIRG Civil Other Judgment
01/04/01 SUSPENDED OL Misdemeanor Guilty
01/04/01 SPEEDING 41/25 Infraction Dismissed
06/26/01 DRIV UNDER REVO/SUSP Misdemeanor Appealed
06/26/01 SPEEDING 41/25 Infraction Nolle Prosequi
03/12/03 PUBLIC SWEARING/INTOXICATION Misdemeanor Dismissed
01/27/03 SPEEDING 59/45 Infraction Guilty
01/27/03 SEAT BELT VIOLATION Infraction Guilty

Yet to Come:
2006: Hit and Run!
I'm glad I don't live in Brazil, since they wouldn't allow me to die there. From the article:

Mayor Roberto Pereira da Silva's proposal to the Town Council asks residents to "take good care of your health in order not to die" and warns that "infractors will be held responsible for their acts."

I suppose the penalty would likely be death without parole.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005
UPDATE: The jerk's insurance lapsed in July!
Sunday, December 11, 2005
For those of you who didn't hear, on November 23rd John and I were rear-ended on the way to work. The woman's insurance paid for the damage and for the rental car, but it was kind of a pain in neck (literally and figuratively). We finally got our car back, fixed, last Friday (a week ago). Since the accident, John and I have both been a little paranoid - you know, looking in the rearview mirror at every stoplight, cringing at every near accident. But we talked about it - I mean, really, what are the chances of getting hit twice in a short period of time?

Tonight, God gave us our answer: 100%.

Yes, that's right, we were rear-ended. Again. But this guy was not so nice as to stop, ask if we were okay, check the damage, call the police, exchange information, etc. Nope. Not this guy. He decided his best course of action would be to drive off.

But we got his plate.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Quit My Job!

Start new one Jan. 9th at Business Objects.
Merry Chrismakwanukkah to me!
Thursday, December 08, 2005
I wanted to share something that I thought was funny. Well, we laughed at work. This was a conversation (over email) between Lashawn and me.
Was thinking about making a pot of chili for dinner tomorrow...what do you think?

Tomorrow is Friday, the sixth day of the week where God created things with the intention of resting on the seventh day most commonly known as Saturday or to the Jews as the Sabbath or "Ha Shabbat", the queen of all Jewish Holydays second only to Yom Kippur, which means Day of Atonement, a day in which Jews repent for all of their sins and attempt to get their lives right with God, the same God that rested on the seventh day, but created things on the sixth day most commonly known as Friday, which happens to be tomorrow.

I am still not sure what's for dinner tomorrow.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
On 17 December in the year of our lord 2005 at 1500 hours, I will commence to participate in my commencement to celebrate my completion of my legal education. The commencement of my illegal education is later. Sorry - love machine came on and I had to a love machine. In any event, upon termination of my legal education, nay, my education in chief, I will embark on a journey where studying, crying, praying, drinking, and possible dying and resurrecting will comprise my ultimate preparation to take the only test that will, does and has mattered in my life also known as the [insert your favorite state here] Bar Exam. My only request is that all of you who read this blog should take a shot of your favorite fire juice or my favorite fire juice (tequila) at or about 3pm on 17 December 2005 - even if you don't, I will. Unlike college, but hopefully like the bar exam, I will only graduate from law school once, so this is truly a once in a life time event. Finally, in conclusion of my final thought as I leave you...