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Friday, May 27, 2005
After a wondermous two-week vacation that included stops in Kennebunk and Kennebunkport, Maine (yes two separately joined cities), Plymouth, New Hampshire, Boston, Cambridge and Somerset, Mass. (forgot how to spell that state), Baltimore, Maryland, Random Places in Northern Virginia, and Charlottesville, Virginia I am ready for a few days of rest and sobriety. However, that will not happen because I failed my first class ever in life - Criminal Procedure. That's right. An "F." An "O say can you see" the big F-ing "F!" Naturally, we celebrated my new academic low with a game of drink-every-time-the-drill-sergeant-cursed-in-full-metal-jacket. Ten beers in 45 minutes later, I randomly called many people. If I called you - I'm sorry (insert pouty sad face here). Then I had a three hour long conversation with my ex-girlfriend most of which I do not remember, but I am sure she will.

I called the professor and discovered that I used the wrong student grading number and so he failed the correct number given him by the registrar. He said my grade will definitely change and at this point, any other grade will be an improvement.

I also discovered that I have many things planned for this wedding/memorial day weekend. We, the wedding partiers, have been challenged to top and $3800 open bar tab to which I responded, "YES! I ACCEPT!"

I also learned that my externship starts next week (June 1st), however no one knows where I am assigned or who I am to report to either. This will undoubtedly make for an interesting first day. So, if you hear about a man in a suit that was shot by the navy because he was wondering aimlessly around their base and mumbling words like, "I'm an extern" and "So is your old man!", then you can be proud in knowing that you know me and then saddened by the same fact.

So to all of those who bed me, fed me, drank with me, undressed me (with or without your hands or eyes), listened to me, talked to me, talked at me, laughed at me, yelled obscenities with me, danced with me (big gay dance party participants), porned me, sang with me, counseled me, pointed at me, waved at me, drove me, flew me, walked me and said nice things to me when I bumped my bead on the bottom step - a big fat THANX!


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